Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry that you have to join our circle of friends.

At this point, whether it is HPV positive or not probably won’t change the treatment. What you may want to focus on instead is to support your mother during chemo and rads. Do impress on her the importance of staying hydrated and to watch her intake. That often makes a lot of difference to her comfort as she goes through treatment. Her positive attitude is definitely a plus. I would suggest talking to your family about caring for your mother — for example, doing saline soaks while she’s going through rads, getting ahead of the curve with the use of anti-emetic medication before she’s weakened by nausea/vomiting while she is doing chemo. If I were you, I would find out if I could talk to the doctors directly (on the phone) and ask the questions I would want to ask. Your not being at home shouldn’t mean you can’t be informed and be hands-on. If the doctors can’t talk to you on the phone, then write down your questions and get someone else who accompanies your mother to her medical appointments to ask them. My experience tells me that it is often difficult to get others to be as informed as the main caregiver. I guess part of it is the fear of looking at a dire situation directly, part of it can also be they don’t want to upset your mother. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t care. We all react differently when we are faced with a serious illness like oral cancer. Stay focused on what you can do and take it one day at a time.