Just so you know - between 5 and 7% of oral cancers are diagnosed with no history of smoking, moderate social drinkers, non-HPV. (I fall into that category as well. I was 30, spent multiple hours a week in the gym, very active, skiing, whitewater rafting, etc.) I understand. It's hard to justify why bad things happen to good people.

So, I'll throw a few things out there that have helped my deal with the diagnosis -

Don't waste your time and energy trying to figure out why this is happening to you. Cancer has a way of making the patient feel like a victim. You need to concentrate on beating this and becoming cancer free.

Relax. Once the ENT's have all of the information and are able to determine their course of treatment, (and subsequent consequences), then you will be better able to determine the impact to your quality of life. My first time through, partial glossectomy, radical neck dissection, radiation and chemo, left me with no disenable speech defect and no issues with swallowing. I was back in the gym and coaching youth sports within a few months of completing radiation. I know it's easier said than done, but at this point you just need to relax and understand that worrying about outcomes that may or may not have any validity.

Your said that you were worried about permanent defects and their potential impact on your life. Really? I would much rather continue to live a life with noticeable defects than consider the options. If not treated because of your fear of permanent defects, the cancer would eventually lead to a painful end.

Let the diagnosis and subsequent treatments take their course. What you'll be left with is a life without cancer in it

Good Luck