No apologies necessary, Deb! We're here to help get you thru everything you are facing. I completely understand where you are coming from and what its like to face an upcoming major surgery. I wish I could tell you the trach wont go home with you, but it could.

At the hospital when patients go home from major illnesses or surgeries, they may require additional medical assistance. At your next doc appointment, ask about if you will need a visiting nurse. If you would go home with a trach, to me that should be enough to have a visiting nurse several times a week. I know feeding tubes have someone come out the very first day you come home and a few follow ups. You may need a home health aid to help you as well. Ive always had great experiences with the visiting nurses. Every one Ive ever had has been very kind and caring.

Maybe this would make it a little easier for you. When I was killing time waiting for my big surgery in 2009, I would take my kids out on "adventures". I wanted to make sure they had lots of great memories with their mom. Almost daily we would go out and do different things. We went fishing, boating, zip lining, bike riding, hiking, etc. By keeping them super busy it helped me to make sure they werent spending time worrying. It worked great for us, would this be something you might want to do?