Hi, My dad, Dennis, is 57 is currently at the beginning stages and starts Chemo and radiation next Tuesday.

He had surgury to remove the tumor on the side of his cheek, 3 lymph nodes and a little of the top and bottom of the lower jaw. He then had to get all of his teeth removed awaiting for his treatment to start.

There is so many questions that we (sister and I) that we have. We ask our parents if "they know what stage its in" "what are the margins" "will you need blood transfusions, (we can give)" but our parents just want to do as the doctors say. They havent gotten a second opinion on any of it.

I ask if I can go to the next appointment to listen what the doctor says and his reply was "I don't want to know so, you shouldnt either."

Any thoughts on this passive approach to chemo/radiation/cancer? My mom is basically doing whatever my dad chooses and is being very passive and not keeping it together. I want to help but, don't know how to get thru to them. Would love some advice.