Hi Karri,
What my doctor did for me is take away my sense of responsibility and my illusion of control away with simple words, "have hope".

And somehow when I snapped out of my desperation and very slowly into a lightness of being. I decided to be the best I could be no matter how bad things got with Stephen, and more so I decided to be hopeful, to believe in what felt like the impossible. And the only way to do that is to accept the present state, including which was at the time my very tired state. It might have been foreign at first but I exuded happiness for the sake of feeling and feeling good about myself and the life Stephen and I are building together.

I try my best to be selfless and to love Stephen purely in the now. Because after all it is all that matters in the end.

Sophie

husband 61@diagnosis painter
6/9/13 Exophylic invasive SCC IV(ext.gingivobuccal) 3cm+ mandibular/lytic/erosion, jugular/node9mmshort-axis
17/9/13 Dx(moderately aggressive)
24/10/13 left madiblectomy, mod radical neck disct, leg flap, NGtube
2/01/14 (30 tx)rads 60gy
N2b (2nodes under jaw) (rem. in tiny nerves) (rem. 30 nodes)
Clear margin, close 2mm inner cheek
15/05/14 cellulitis
3/12/14 Chest CT Clear
27/02/15 cellulitis
8/6/15 cellulitis
10/6/15 Osteomyelitis