Yes the tongue heals relatively quickly though having had rads may slow this down a bit for your dad. With response to the tongue area, they went from tip to back and a bit down my throat I know they cut me from the inside of my molars between my tongue and teeth, all the way down and out through through my neck (they filet me...) If you know anything about head and neck anatomy I basically have a scar running down my throat inside..
The trache truly sucks, I mean it's was way worse than anything, being suctioned sucks too. I thought for sure they'd sucked out part of my damn lung - they definitely scratched it. Hopefully they will put in a fenestrated trache right away but it wasn't part of my hospital protocol, they prefer there to be minimal messing with your mouth for the first few days.
As long as he has a call bell and knows to call when things begin to get raspy (not wait until things are intolerable) he should be okay. Then he can simply write down what the problem is and they can deal with it. I was out of the step down unit, within 18 hours after my surgery so I was in a semi private room almost immediately - I was in the top hospital in Toronto and still the nurses sucked. I thought at one point they were going to kill me. So hopefully he will have a better experience. Don't get me wrong my dr was amazing and so was the plastics guy but the floor nurses were idiots - and I'm not one to complain. In fact my husband told the nurse - you know what - my wife is not a complainer - she's very independent and very strong - so if she's complaining you have a problem.
Too funny.. Your dad may need an advocate - it really depends on the hospital. Maybe drop your mom before work? We did this with my father in law and we kinda covered him in shifts. He had esophageal cancer and the surgery was fairly large (I still tease him - my surgery was double the length of his) so we would drop my mother in law, come back later spend some time with him make sure she ate then Someone else would pick her up and take her home.
Best of luck.. He should be okay. For me my dressings weren't on nearly as long as xanpander - mind you I was a nurse at one point in my life and knew how to minimize my dressings. My leg was uncovered when I left. My wrist - well the staples were removed the day I left (day 10) and we just put a dressing over the area, and my neck I had steri strips and a small (skin colored finger wrap bandage). I covered it with a gel mesh then bandaged it. Very small. I was on a beach in Mexico 20 days after my surgery, I spent the week I got out of the hospital sorting out my son's passport issues and booking the trip.
Hugs
