Hi Carol - welcome to the family.

Chris said above what I was going to tell you. Your and his job today is to get through TODAY, not to worry about tomorrow. I have heard it be so bad for some that they had to focus on getting through the next HOUR. It's uncomfortable, it's lousy, it's a thousand other bad adjectives, but somehow we persevere and get through it; and having done so gives us strength and hope and helps us get through tomorrow. Eventually, we come out the other end of the tunnel and get back to something resembling a worthwhile life.

I too had a lot of mucous problems; there were days when I wondered if today is the day I choke on that mucous and have an emergency right here on the treatment table. I found what worked for me was to lay there very still, don't get nervous and don't fidget. Breath slowly, deeply and evenly through my nose and through my mouth if necessary. Really slow, rhythmic breathing meant the flow of air past the mucous wouldn't cause me to feel it and thus prevent the sensation of choking. Don't try to swallow the mucous every few seconds. That it often can't be swallowed also creates the sensation of something foreign being in his throat, ie the sensation of choking. It worked for me every time, even on the days when I thought it wouldn't.

Have him tell his RT that he is having problems with mucous and possible choking and to keep a close eye on him during treatment via the camera pointed at the patient. I often wondered how I would get her attention quickly if needed. Would waving my arms around wildly do the job or did I need a better signal. I even thought of banging my hand on the side of the treatment head, but that would work only if I could reach it. Just today I had the idea to take a flashlight with me. That light beam causing a flash across her monitor might get her attention better and faster. I can see disadvantages to the flashlight idea, so it's probably better to just talk to her about it. I'm sure she has had problem mucous patients before and has some ideas of how to make it better.

About anti-depressants, sometimes our male programming is our own worst enemy. Maybe the best way to approach it is to suggest he take a very light dose of anti-depressant, the goal being to just get him started taking something to "help a little" or just enough to "take the edge off". Call it a starter dose if necessary; see if you can get the doctor to use the same phrase. Once the idea has been broached he may be more receptive to changing the dosage to what is really needed. I understand where he may be coming from about this. I feel the same way; I would never take anti-depressants (or so I tell myself). But, then I didn't have the level of side effects he is having, I pretty much knew with certainty I would get through today and every day and do so with minimal discomfort.

Lastly, get him to start reading the forum threads himself. Just hearing how other patients got through it helped me a lot. I'm sure you are doing a great job as caregiver but he is missing out on a lot by not being a forum member himself. If he isn't comfortable using the computer, maybe you have to help a little with forum navigation. But, there is a lot of valuable information on this forum that he needs to see with his own eyes.

Keep fighting, both of you will get through this and come out the other end. We wiil be here with you all the way through.

Tony