Hi, Wendy
The NCCN Guidelines for Treatment for professionals is available on the OCF Site on this page: http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/treatment/guidelines.php

If you review this document for cancer of the oropharynx, you will see the standard treatment guidelines by stage. If possible, print this and take it with you - I think if makes it easier to understand your possible options than just a verbal description.

Although surgery sounds harder than chemo-radiation, don't rule out surgery with possibly reduced radiation if it is offered. Radiation has longer-lasting side effects than the fancy robotic surgery available now.

Best wishes and welcome.

Maria