I totally understand what you're saying.

The amount of treatment is irrelevant. the fact that we are survivors is what is in the forefront of our minds. I am constantly reminded of the changes both physically and mentally. It's an every day challenge.

As we go through the appointments and "scanxiety", the challenges of reaching the "new normal", the fact we have been stricken by this awful disease remains. It's part of who we are and will be that way for the remainder of our lives.

I'm a musician and singer. The effects of cancer have impacted me greatly. As I've been practicing, I am again reminded of the last year and what this disease has done to me. I'm grateful to God for his mercy and grace. My faith has carried me when I had nothing else to carry me. Yet, like you, I have the same doubts and "scanxieties". It's only natural.

don't beat yourself up. I don't think it ever really goes away. How could it? I'm learning to embrace it as a part of who I am now. Just like my heart attacks and surgeries, it reminds me of the frailty of life and makes me appreciate the simple things.

Positive thoughts

"T"