to MIKE: I think you are asking more over what the medical process is correct? not about care?

Ultimately how will it take you? I think that depends on whether the cancer has spread to other places - and where. My friend died a year or so ago - bless her - and her cancer at that point had moved into her lungs. Due to the cancer she essentially stopped eating (feeling full all the time and nausea played a role) and slowly faded away. I know you have a tube. It may not be the same, but I have been with people who've passed and ultimately they become weaker until their body can no longer sustain their basic functions.

generally it is not the tumor that kills you surprisingly. Often it is mets to another location and how those mets affect your overall body function. (cancer is a sugar hog) it steals your nutrition and your body slowly wastes. (cachexia)

I know at some point acceptance becomes a fact. However, I do hope the chemo works for you. I do think that maybe pushing for alternatives may be a plus. Look at Paul here... he's had a similar experience almost long term chronic cancer. Still they have always managed to find a way to do something for him. There is another woman - named Susan I believe she has had issues for quite some time but they have always managed to find something to do - radiation, or chemo.

I wouldn't give up just yet unless you are at the point where enough is enough. Adjust your diet - I know you are on a permanent tube - however - instead of only canned nutrients try making your own smoothies in a blender. Since taste isn't an issue try high nutrient veggies (spinach, kale, beets, chard, carrot etc... and fruits, protein powder, flax seed and a fat or two... fish, peanut butter?? etc... this may help with your healing and fistulas, shore up your strength and help with weight. It has to be completely smooth of course but a vitamix can do this for you. And there is a web site run by a former member who has recipes for super healthy all natural smoothies for tube feeders. I'm not saying this will cure you but it may make you feel better.

best of luck.