Hi, Margie.

I am so sorry that you are still suffering so much. It often takes a person who knows what you have been enduring to feel comfortable letting it all out...we understand, unlike even your closest friend or spouse. Some things in life are inconceivable until one follows the very same path.

I just made a post talking about my depression/anxiety, as well.

Did you have these issues at baseline? If so, you can certainly expect it to get worse (sometimes exponentially) with treatment and years thereafter.

Fortunately, I have been managed well over the years with a medication regimen that has worked for me. They are not "happy pills" as some uneducated people say. I liken it to being a Type I diabetic, where your pancreas doesn't make enough insulin. No one blames the diabetic for his/her disease...something of which he/she had no control over getting. But, when someone's brain doesn't make enough serotonin or norepinephrine, we are sometimes viewed as "weak", "fragile", "psycho"...like we have control over it and it's a moral problem/choice to be happy or sad.

When you add multiple medical problems, especially ones that add to chronic pain (cancer and RA), the depression/anxiety often gets worse. As you know, this is a vicious cycle. The only thing I might suggest to you that has helped me tremendously is to seek a consult with a palliative care specialist/pain specialist. It has enabled me to function much better and return to work. I'm still in pain, but it is manageable. That is the key...to make it manageable. Otherwise, your depression likely will not get better.

You have more than your fair share of reasons to have chronic pain. I hope you are able to get the help you need. Perhaps talking things over with your doctors about your current treatment plan and discuss some possible changes that may make a difference.

I applaud you for getting out and walking every day. That takes a lot of energy (mental and physical) to overcome the inertia that makes you want to lay in bed all day. I know that all too well. If left to my own devices, I would currently sleep my life away, but I can't because of my responsibilities.

May I also suggest aquatic therapy. It is great for patients with RA. Since you are in AU, I'm not sure how the healthcare system works there, but I'm a PT and lots of my mentors are Aussies! It's worth a try, I say!

Best wishes to you finding your niche and getting on the path to feeling much better with a manageable life.

xo,
Kerri