Debo - I like the distinction you made about being "family" and not a visitor. What a loving daughter you must be to care so much for your Dad and to want to be useful. Everyone is so different in their recovery - things can change even from day to day. Just being close by, will let your Dad know that you care. Perhaps your Dad's girlfriend is worried and just wants to be the one to comfort him and help him through his. Sometimes the simplest things can be the most appreciated - like picking up prescriptions, doing laundry, fixing a simple meal, walking the dog, etc. Maybe you could have a list ready of things you would be available to do for your Dad so that he or his girlfriend can choose what would help the most. That might at least get you a "foot-in-the-door" so you could get close to your Dad and just hold his hand or give him a hug and tell him you love him.