Jay, this just sucks.
You and Jen are right to do what you think is best for the both of you. I am so glad Jen feels well currently and hope this continues for a long while.
Honestly, I don't think any of us truly knows how we would react or what decision we would make unless we are living it. It is so hard.
Enjoy that youngster together, make memories.
I am thinking of you all,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!