Stacey, quitting is NOT an option! Your husband hasnt even gotten to the difficult part yet. He needs to be educated about oral cancer! Many caregivers have their patients who dont want to know anything about the ins and outs of treatment. They dont do research and dont realize oral cancer is a deadly disease. I started out unaware but quickly learned that its not going to just go away on its own. It needs to be hit with all that is available to get rid of the cancer so it doesnt return. Many caregivers will print things out pretending they want to read them later, only to leave the papers where the patient will "accidently" find them and read the info. This would probably turn your husband around without you confronting him and it becoming an argument with him thinking you arent on his side of this.

Being a caregiver sure isnt an easy job!!! Dont forget to take some time every day even if its a couple minutes to walk around the block or a long hot shower to clear your head. You have alot on your shoulders and can use support as well.

Sorry to hear your sons dont understand everything either. Its a very hard thing for a child to be faced with their parents mortality. My children had a rough time of it too. My daughter didnt handle it very well at all (any of the 3 times I went thru it). She would cry everytime she looked at me and would tell me she didnt want me to die. My son was deeply affected as he ended up being the closest thing I had to a caregiver at the age of 17. Since your boys are in their early 20s please consider talking to them about getting the Guardisil shot to prevent the cancer causing strains of HPV (16 and 18). This shot is available to both males and females ages 13 - 26 (pretty sure this range is correct). It took me some convincing with my son, but he is getting his third shot of the series next month. I had my daughter immunized when it first came out and was controversial, I think she was 16. Since your husband's OC is HPV+ they may be easy to convince by telling them they dont want to get OC. There is tons of info about this and all kinds of other important things on the main OCF pages. There you can print things out about treatments and all kinds of other info.

So glad you have found the forum to help not just your husband but also you and your family get thru this. Dont worry, we are right here with you. Best wishes with everything!!!!