I was diagnosed in July and just started tx. When I first realized I had cancer I was despondent. I began to plan for the end, totaling up life insurance to see if my family would be OK, and sorts of things. I believed I was dying, and had many morbid thoughts. Everything I did I kept thinking "this could be the last time I do this", whether it was seeing a great sunset or getting a hug from my daughter or eating the ribs I love so much. Then it hit me: this was nothing new! For any of us, every single thing we do could end up being the last time we do it, as none of us ever know when our particular time on earth will end.

When I realized that my attitude changed, and I went back to simply enjoying all those good things. You will be in my prayers, and based on what others here say, I know that we can get through the tough times and come out on the other side--it's just a matter of time and perseverance. Once on the other side of all this, as for how long we will be here, none of us can say, so enjoy it all. Until then, try to find something good even on the bad days (even if it is only the memory of a past good day, or the hope instilled by others here of the promise of a future good day to come).