Hi Tim, I reread your post a few times, because it didn't sound like the Tim I've come to know the last few months. You have always been so positive and upbeat, that I had to verify it was really you. That being said, you have the right to FREAK OUT...We've all done it, I think you are just doing yours later in the game. Most of us freaked out at diagnosis; then dusted ourselves off and did what we had to do.

You dove headfirst into the treatment and recovery and probably didn't give yourself freak out time until now. Don't second guess your treatment. You did everything right and like Charm said, it looks like it worked for you. that's the main thing.

So, dust yourself off and know that you are now a survivor and there's nothing you can do to change the past. You've made a remarkable recovery in such a short time and I think a lot of that was your attitude and your faith.... I know you still have your faith, you just need to get that attitude back !

You have also been such a big help to so many others already who are behind us in treatment. Keep up the good work.

Stay strong and keep moving forward, one step at a time.