Thank you all VERY much. I couldn't agree with you more Wendy. For as much as my mother will ALWAYS worry about me using,suspect me of using, look at me like I'm using, ask me what I was doing in the garage last night, go through my stuff, and ask my X-girlfriend if she thinks I'm using, I will never be able to convince her otherwise. In fact... I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I really don't (can't) give a flying crap. You're right, all I need to do is be honest with myself. November 2005 was the last time for me and I have several friends in NA who's help I will be enlisting as soon as the pain subsides a bit. They have been notified and will be hearing from me soon. Thanks again. Will