Thanks Jeffrey and Brian. I certainly can understand what you meant Brian - when you say that this disease can feel so well "engrained" into you. The thought of a recurrance scares the you-know-what out of me (and it doesn't take much to make me into a bundle of raw nerves!)...so I try not to think about it, but it's always in the back of my mind. Like most people, I look forward to the next drs appt. - yet dread it at the same time. There's nothing sweeter to the ears than to hear that everything is going well and there's no sign of this disease. On the other hand - pure dread and fear for the obvious otherwise. Believe me - I am so thankful for every day my husband is here to share life with me, and we no longer "sweat the small stuff" like we used to. It's funny how it can take something like this to put life into perspective and make you realize your priorities. As a footnote - congrats Jefrrey on your 2nd year of slaying this beast - and best wishes for continued health and success in the future as well. Brian - my hats off to you and everyone else who continue to inspire and motivate us "newbies" and all who need to see that there is hope after a diagnosis of the big "C". Thanks again.