Posted By: Veronica_dup1 Going on with a "normal" life - 05-21-2002 12:56 PM
Well, I am happy to say that my mom is done with radiation. She made it through like a real trooper!! However, we received more news that we do not like to hear. She was told that if the cancer is not completely gone or if it comes back there is nothing else they can do for her. We are trying to go on with a "normal" life, but we always have that in the back of our minds (as a family). UUGGGHHH!! Where does it end???? This is just pure craziness. I feel like I am watching my mom disintegrate before my eyes. She justs sits & stares. She won't talk, laugh or smile. It is SOOOOO depressing. I miss being able to talk to my mom about my problems & worries, but my problems & worries are about her. I pray every day that our lives can get back to somewhat normal. Thanks for listnening!!
Posted By: Joanna Re: Going on with a "normal" life - 05-21-2002 02:12 PM
Veronica, I am appalled at what you and your mother were told! For heaven's sake, we could all be run over by a bus tomorrow too, but nobody worries about that. I suspect that your mother might benefit from antidepressants. Try hard to see this glass as half full, if you can. And at least for now, decide that the cancer IS gone and that it WON'T come back. I have a healthy respect for self-fulfilling prophesies, so try not to get into a negative mind set. From everything I have read, this is just about the worst time for your mother, but she will begin to feel better. Hang in there, and know that you can "vent" here anytime, as the folks on this board are wonderful and much more knowledgeable than I.
Joanna
Posted By: youngerag Re: Going on with a "normal" life - 05-21-2002 05:28 PM
Veronica,

Hang in there. Joanna is so right about getting hit by a bus. I didn't have RAD but I was just about the same way as your Mom, sitting and staring and wondering what was next. My husband forced me to go places and do things with him. I resented it at the time, but it really did help take my mind off of stuff. (One day we went to Andy Warhol's old apartment in Philadelphia, he was doing an inspection on the construction.) It is really tough and having gone through all of the treatments you can get the "what if syndrome." Don't be real forceful, but try to get her to do something if it is only a walk. My first adventure was the day after I got home and walked to the end of the block. Keep us advised and as Joanna said, this is your vent place. Take care.

Anne.
Posted By: Susan Re: Going on with a "normal" life - 05-22-2002 06:52 PM
Veronica,

I was exactly where you were about 3 weeks ago. That is when my Mom finished her 8 weeks of RAD. You won't believe what just 3 weeks can do. I know exactly what you are going through. Give her some time to heal from this awful, intrusive treatment. Once she starts feeling better and seeing some improvements, she will start acting herself again. In the meantime, she just may need an anti-depressant. I just wanted you to know that I know what your going through. I am only a month or so ahead of you as far as where my Mom is at after treatment. Hang in there. We are all praying for you & your family.

Susan
Posted By: Veronica_dup1 Re: Going on with a "normal" life - 05-30-2002 04:50 PM
Well, thanks to all that replied. My mom is starting to feel better. She went to see her surgeon & he did not recommend any chemo. He said with her type of cancer, all it would do is make her sick. I am starting to look at the bright side of things, although it is a long hard road. I know I am going to cherise the time I have with my mom because I do not know what will become of the future. I've learned that you cannot be overcome with emotion to the point that it consumes your everyday life. I was starting to do that, but since then, I have talked to my doctor, who has been a great source of support for my mom & me (we share the same doc). She kind of put things into perspective for me. I highly recommend talking to someone you trust that is not a part of your family. It is hard to talk to people that are having the same feelings you are having about the same person you care about. I think I have done enough rambling for now, I am just feeling better!! Thanks for listening.
Posted By: Brooke Re: Going on with a "normal" life - 05-30-2002 05:05 PM
Veronica,
So glad to hear you and mom are feeling better. Your idea of talking to someone without the emotional attatchment is wonderful, and I'm sure, beneficial. Remember to take yourself, as well as your mom. It is obvious that you are a key player in her recovery,so you need to keep healthy too!
Keep us posted on the progress!!
© Oral Cancer Support - Survivor / Patient Forum