Just received a call from Sue, Brenda died this morning at about 2:30am EST.
She called me about an hour ago to tell me that the hospital had called and said for everyone to come right away as they thought it would happen rather quickly.
I don't have any details at this time, the one request Bren had made was for any/all donations be made to the Oral Cancer Foundation.
Sue is amazing. She sounded so strong through all of this, very much like her mum. She said that she would post soon, maybe in a few days.
God Speed Bren! I'm going to miss you more than I can ever guess. I love you dear friend.
Donna

I really cannot for once find any words that fit the situation.
So I'll just send all my love to Brenda's OCF family, I know that none of us will ever forget the feisty Yorkshire lass..
Sunshine.. love and hugs
Helen

She touched all of us with her courage, support, and positiveness. Bren will surely be missed for a long time. Our sympathies to her lovely family and friends. Dick and Jane

Brenda was a lady that seemed to worry more about her friends in the forums than she did herself. I will never forget the way she would get on my back for saying or doing things she didn't agree with me about. I always looked forward to her post and she had a knack of making them personal, not just for me but for everyone of us. I know she jjust has to be in heaven this morning , looking down on us with her ornery smile , looking for her keyboard and ready to give us more words of wisdom.. Brendas family sure has my prayers.

Brenda

TO me ...all the way to the end was a survivor..she never gave up ... She will be missed more then I can say ..TO her family ..MY deepest sympathy goes to all of you , how lucky we all were to have her touch a part of our lives.

Shar

I just can't believe it happened so quickly. I'm sure Bren will carry her positive attitude forward and continue to affect people. Luv and miss you Bren.

How can she be gone???

Deb

How can it happen so quickly. Do you all think she was that ill when she left on the 10th? Why didn't her doctors know more? How could they have left her alone so long and let this happen? I am so sad for her dear family. They must be asking the same questions. May you find comfort in her memory and spirit.
Debbie

Look at the chain of responses. What a diverse group Brenda touched. She so looked forward to her trip in spite of the agony she was enduring.

I will miss her posts. Even when I only had a few minutes to come on board I always looked for messages from Brenda and was anticipating hearing about her vacation. Although we all knew the reality we somehome expected her to return with an uplifting message.
Malka

We have all lost a great part of the spirit and soul that makes this community speacial. However, her contributions and caring live on in those she touched, including everyone here. Our family is keeping Bren and her loved ones in our prayers. She lived life to the fullest, right up to the last, which is really all any of us can hope for. She will be sorely missed.

Brenda had a way of offering no nonsense advice in a compassionate manner. Even though she knew that this disease would take her one day she still kept her sense of humor and selflessly gave of herself to anyone who needed advice or words of encouragement. I believe that we are all better people for having known her and having her touch our lives through her words. The way Brenda lived should be an example to us all.

I offer Brendas family my deepest heartfelt sympathy.

Love and Hugs,

Joy

Not sure if you all caught Sue's thread in this forum, "Update on Bren"....she kind of led us on to the info there as she was given it.
I do know that in my last e-mail with her she did speak of being tired but was determined to go on her trip. What a fighter!
Sue said she would try to get on in a few days if she was up to it.
I wish everyone here comfort as they cope with our loss of our dear friend.
Love,
Donna

Hi everyone,

Well, that's it. My dear, sweet, amazing, wonderful mum passed away at 11.15pm PST, 7.15am UK time. The nurse said it was peaceful and she wasn't in any pain.
She's gone to be with gran and grandad, actually, they're probably all sat there having a brandy!
My mum had such an impact on so many lives, and you all had such an impact on here life. Thank you.
I will be having a service here in Orange County - probably on Saturday - and will give you all details of that, and the UK service once it's organized.
Mum asked for donations to be made to this website, so I'll spend the day organizing that also.

I'm hanging in there, spent the night at a friends. I'll be back online later.

Thinking of you with love and sympathy

Sue(and everyone)

She seemed so brave and yet so human..I will miss her,

Deb

I spoke with Bren for an hour and a half ,just a week before i left for Abu Dhabi.She was indeed a lot sicker than she ever told anyone here,and was desolate that she had picked up a flu bug and was unable to meet me as we had arranged but she was very very determined to have Christmas and the New Year with her beloved Ray.We spoke a few times while i was away and she consistently enquired after my state of mind and well being right up to and after i came home.
This was the woman that was Brenda.Always more concerned about others than herself,but in her darkest times she reached out for reassurance.I wish she hadn't suffered so much pain in her last few weeks ,it seems so uneccessary in this day and age,and i am so sorry she didn't get her final wish to die in a hospice with her family all with her.She really didn't want to be in hospital.

It didn't seem much to ask really for a warm loving woman who cared so much about others .

What an amazing woman she was. Her attitude sense of humor was so inspirational.

Through her posts, her inspiration, her gifts to us all, she will be remembered forever. She has touched us all. My prayers and thoughts for Brenda's family, and for Brenda, I know she has moved on to a better place of eternal joy.

Donna

I know I haven't been around here long, but I recognized how much support Brenda gave and how much courage she had. I hate cancer and how it takes someone from the person you know and love to one you hardly recognize. I saw that in my own mother who died from cancer almost 17 years ago. Sue my prayers are with you and your family. My prayers are also with those here that counted Brenda a member of your OCF family. We do have the comfort of knowing she is longer in pain. Although that doesn't always fill the void for those left here on Earth.
Cindy

Sue, just post the time of your srevice in Orange County .'m sure most of us will be here praying with you. I'm older than Brenda, but many times I almost called her mom.

Thinking of you now. Your Mum will surely be missed. Please know that we are all here for you. Sending BIG cyber hugs!!!

...another loss....so sad....no words, only more tears for our loss; what an inspiration Bren was and so precious to all of us! To the family: Our thoughts and prayers are with you......

I can't believe we have lost our precious, spunky Brenda even though her symptoms were indicating she was loosing ground. I just somehow thought she would manage to win another round. My deepest sympathy to her family and to all who grew to care for her through our association with this forum. She was one of a kind, inspiration to all of us.

I looked forward to Brenda's posts so, so much - she was warm, honest, funny, irreverant and so empathic to others. Her love of life and determination were powerful and inspirational. After reading her posts I always felt more hopeful and determined that I could create a good life in the midst of my husband's cancer. My heart hurts for Bren's family and for all of us.

I just read through all the posts on this thread and I'm devastated and speechless at the loss of our dear friend, Brenda. My condolences to her family.

Thinking of her and praying for her family is all I can offer. I will miss her spirit.

Tim

I read this news yesterday and was totally at a loss for words. I am sorry she had so much pain before she died as she came back from her trip but I think she might have wanted the trip anyway. Brenda seemed to me to be someone strongly determined to really live until she died and I think she accomplished that. And I am so grateful to her presence here--showing the rest of us how that could be done. And reaching out to help so many other people. Her spirit will be missed here (and, I'm sure, in all the lives she touched). My prayers are with her family and loved ones.

Nelie

My deepest sympathies to all Brens family and friends.
I too wanted more than anything for her to beat this.
It is a deep loss for us all.
She will be sorely missed.

Good morning everyone.
Thank you all for the wonderful things you've had to say about mum. I just got off the phone with my brother, and they're organizing all the details across the pond.
Meanwhile, I have set up a service here in OC for Saturday next week at 2pm PST.
I pm'd Brian Hill, and have asked him if he would like to join us at the service (he's close to where I live), maybe say a few words about mum as well as OCF - still waiting to hear back on that one.
Also, my favourite fishing lake has offered me a free boat rental if I would like to go and scatter some flowers over the lake in mums memory. She never went there, but I think it's something I'd like to do.

The service here will be very upbeat - no black, bright colors and fun stories about mum's holidays over here. On the memorial table I'll also be putting a big bottle of brandy and some paper cups - everyone can have a shot after the service! Mum would laugh her a$$ off at that!

Sue

Sue,
You sound so strong just like your Mum. My heart weighs heavy with sorrow for your loss. You are handling things very well and I wish you peace in the coming days. Please know that we are all here to listen, you are a part of this family now.
So will that be on march 1 at 2 pm?
Peace and love,
Debbie

Sue, Brenda raised you well, and I think her middle name was surely "Courage". So many people are blessed to have known her, including me. Amy in the Ozarks

Sue - my prayers and thoughts to your family during this time. I'm really new here, but have been trying to read TONS of old posts and have seen several by your mom. She sounds like such an amazing person.
Michelle

Dear Sue,
I read this on Saturday but have no way to post from my ancient computer at home. I can't believe this happened so quickly. I am so sorry you had to lose her, but if she was going to go, quickly is better than the long drawn out painful death this miserable cancer puts people through. She is now at peace.

Your mom was a champ with a marevlous sense of humor and the ability to help people by her words. We shall all miss her greatly. I extend my deepest sympathies to you, and her family and friends. I too will join her OCF circle of friends thinking of her on March 1.

Take care,
Eileen

Sue,
I would like you and your family to know what an impact your mother has made here. Her presence on this board, and subsequent passing, has prompted me to re-examine my attitude towards my illness, in a positive way. As I would read her posts, I would think to myself, "How is it possible for this woman to have such fortitude, grace, and genuine caring for others in the face of her own illness?" Truly remarkable.
Teresa

Sue,

Keep your spirits up during these trying times. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family from this household. It is times like this that I really have to stop and ask myself if I want to keep up with happenings on the site. I really wonder.

Bill D.

I will miss her spirit, she was an inspiration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mMuDmVPkWY

Wish I could whistle down the Northern Lights
And send them dancing all across the night
Maybe then when all the sky was blazing
Maybe then I'd feel you somewhere
gazing at a star,
And you could feel me too
as I say goodbye to you

It breaks my heart in two, to say goodbye to you
Wish time could turn us back to yesterday
The gods above would look the other way
Maybe then we still could laugh together
Maybe then it could be spring forever and a day
But I must face the truth and say goodbye to you
It breaks my heart in two, to say goodbye to you

Wish I could whistle down the Northern Lights
And send them dancing all across the night
Maybe then in my memories for saving
One last time you're on the hill waving from afar
One last glance or two and I'll say goodbye to you
It breaks my heart in two, to say goodbye to you

Absolutely beautiful.... brought tears to my eyes. Remembering Brenda and her loving and giving ways today.

Hi all,

I'm leaving now for the service. The minister is going to mention OCF and I'll do a collection afterwards.

I'd like to thank you all for all of your support and the love you have shown for my mum, but I probably won't be on the boards any more.
Good luck to all of you with your battles, you truly are amazing people and I wish you all the very best in your fights for yourselves and those you love.
Mum will be with you all.

Sue
xx

Do we all gather here at 5 on the east?

Well I'm here at 4pm just to get a front row seat.

I am here too David. I have poured a glass of wine for
a last tribute to her. I feel so sad for all of us.
Debbie

The song that Sue sent on her link was absolutely beautiful.

Wishing Sue and the rest of Brenda's family all the best ...

-- Leslie

I have been away from my computer for a few months. Just wanted to offer my deep condolences to Brenda's family and friends.
What a wonderful kind supportive person she was.
Fly on sweet angel.
"Brief is life, but long is love"

I have not been on this site for several months and was searching for Brenda. I almost sent an email to her and then decided to search her post and found this. I have been crying reading all of the post. Brenda gave me support through my treatments. My prayers our with her family.