My husband had his neck dissection 2-1/2 weeks ago. The nodes all tested negative and that should be (and is) great news, but he's very low. He just doesn't seem to be feeling well ever. He had chemo & rad from Jan. through Mar. He can eat, but nothing tastes very good. His saliva has dried up even more since the surgery and he is getting discouraged and grumpy. I don't know how to help him. Will he feel better any time soon? Help!

As you have no doubt read in all the previous posts here, your husband is going through a normal response to the treatments and psychologically to the disease. What you must try to understand, and really cannot help him with, is that he is mentally adjusting to the reality of his own mortality, and the fact that we are all physically frail human beings. It is a normal response, and while it happens to all of us that go through a brush with cancer, we males, seem to have a rougher time with it. For myself, it was tough to go through the long recovery process from it all. Months into recovery, I wasn't feeling any better, and more and more things kept happening to me. It seemed like one step forward and two back all the time. The doctors told me that I was cancer free at the end of treatment, and I was happy. That lasted for about a week, as I then started to feel sicker and weaker. As the weeks turned into months, I grew progressively weaker, and my mood grew progressively darker as a result. I was a horrible patient...angry, scared, and grumpy to say the least. These days I have a greater appreciation for what my wife went through during that year of recovery after the radiation and the surgery, and how much of my terrible mood swings she had to deal with. He is early in the recovery process, and this is unlikely to end soon. All you can do is try to be supportive and patient with him. For me it helped to finally midway through the process start talking with a psychiatrist to explore my feelings about what had, and was, happening to me.

DJS, Brian is right. Even now, almost two years later, I still get in my down modes. Even today, I find that I tire more easily. It does get better. My husband kept me really busy doing field trips after my surgery. Little things like inspecting job sites, (he sells commercial construction materials.) The trips would normally be in the morning and lunch on the way home. I was tired when I got home, but my mind was off of the cancer for a least a little while. When I got a little stronger, I would get up every morning and plan a small outing. Going to the grocery store, visiting a friend, again, tired when I got done, but felt like I had accomplished something.

Hang in there and if he isn't already doing it, have him read the posts on the board. He will find that things to get better.

Take care.

Anne

I am a new member to this site and I am proud to say that I am a 12 year survivor of stage II OC.
I am also an 11 year survivor of stage II OC and a 10 year survivor of stage IV OC! Yes, I've been diagnosed 3 times with OC and underwent major surgeries,including a radical neck,plus radiation treatments in 1993. Tell your husband that I'm STILL HERE!! That's the most important thing I wanted to hear 12 years ago, that someone like me was STILL HERE. These past 12 years have not been easy, but they have certainly been survivable. His symptoms from surgery and treatment will keep changing from year to year and he will adjust to some changes better than others. I know I certainly have. I've continued to work full time and have my life "before OC" be very much as it was "after OC". God Bless,Dianne

Diane,
Congratulations!! That is some very encouraging news, and thank you for sharing....this board is so wonderful. Welcome to another family!
God Bless!
Brooke