Hello friends; It has been an interesting 6 weeks or so since I last posted. I have been in hospital with yet another recurrance and the affirmation that if there is a hard way to do something I can generally find it out.
The cancer has now spread to the bones in my neck. In fact the severe discomfort that I have been whining about to several docs over the past while is due to this new invasion.
A bright young physician in Emerg found on an xray that C5 was MISSING. The vertebra had literally disintegrated and left me with damage to the spinal cord and of course plenty of pain.
The next two weeks were spent getting acknowledged pain levels under control for the first time in months and the set up of palliative care in my home.
Because of the cord damage, I have lost use of my left arm (I am left handed) and retain only partial use of the right arm. There are nurses who visit twice a day to bathe and dress me, physio and OT help to make the most of my limited arm mobility. As you can see, we have got a way to use the computer for now at least.
I feel surprizingly well and am so pleased to be able to remain at home.
It is a sad commentary on the medical profession that my situation went unnoticed and undiagnosed for so long, but since the get go there seems to have been a blind spot surrounding me because my cancer didn't follow the usual track for SCC.
I have a very firm resolve to live life as well and fully as I can for the time that is there...who knows. Right now there is a period of stability happening for which I am grateful.
I am open and eager for tips and tricks to help my husband and I go through this new adventure in our lives together. These caregivers of ours are pure gold!
Thanks for stopping by,
Fran B.

Hello Fran,

I am truly sorry to hear of your recurrance of this bastard of a diaease. Your posting answers
alot of questions about your attitude. I am humbled by your courage.
I hope you can enjoy whatever time you have left. We never really know when that time is near. Glad to hear they have the pain under control.
You are right on about caregivers, There is a special place in heaven for them!!!

Love Ya, Danny Boy

Fran
My goodness you have had a time of it!
The cancer has not affected your bright spirit I see, I hope that from this point on the Doc`s have a handle on things for you and keep your pain level to a minimum.
Warm wishes to you and your hubby.

Marica

Fran,
I am in awe of your gracious bravery, your resolve and your willingness to share this with us.

I take it that since you at home you are in hospice care. They are very well equipped to help your entire family through this time in just about any area.

Journal, say things that need to be said, make recordings and/or videos if you have children or grandchildren.

I will keep you and your family in my constant prayers.

Fran, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep Looking Up! God Bless, Carol

Fran,
I am so sorry to learn of your, yet another reoccurence. You are so brave. I am glad they are now able to keep your pain under control. Keep your chin up. You are a very brave lady. Keep posting. Hopefully we can help you and your husband down this path.

Take care,
Eileen

Fran, you and your husband will be in my prayers too. Amy

Fran,
You have posted a post that each and every one of us fears ever having to post. Some here have already had to post on a recurrance. Some of us will have to in the future and your post will be an inspiration to us. You show such courage and I'm glad there is a calm period for you to catch your breath a bit and make a plan for whatever is to come. You already know about spending time wisely, living in the moment, etc. My prayers are with you and your family.
Minnie

Fran being with my husband at the last taught me one thing....to enjoy each and every moment to the fullest. Pray together and let love fill your every waking day. I admire your courage and your strength.

My prayers are with you and may God bless you and give you comfort and peace always,
Barb~

Fran, I am so saddened to learn that you had yet another recurrence AND one that seems to have been missed for so long while leaving you with unmanaged pain. But thank God that is now past and your pain is under control and you are getting the help you need to live your life as fully as you can right now--and live it at home with your husband.

You and your family and your caregivers are in my prayers and thoughts.

Nelie

Dear Fran

Your inner strength and courage are inspiring. It is disturbing that your recurrence was not picked up sooner - thankyou for sharing those details with us.

I wish you and your family peaceful, loving days together - you are in my thoughts.

With love from Helen

Many thanks for the support. My faith really stops a lot of fear dead in its tracks...but I am very human and there are times that I wish this was a "movie" about someone elses life, not mine.
The Home Care program is pretty comprehensive with wheelchairs, walkers, oxygen,lifting devices, and other aids available to me as I may need them. There is also a very compassionate group volunteers in our local Palliative care associatian who provide companionship and respite visiting for those who wish to have it.
I will try to keep posting as currently as I can. As I mentioned before, the adequate treatment of pain is a hugely important part of living and enjoying some quality time with the family. Pain breeds fatigue and fatigue leads to withdrawal..bad stuff for those of us who really want to keep those good connections humming.
In the meantime, the joy of a life fully lived is one of many things that keep me going.
Bless you all a bunch for your kindness and onging support of not just me but each other as well.
Fran B.

Dear Fran,
You are a special person. You truly represent those who are committed to survive with dignity. Thank you.
Virginia
Wife to Doug, Stage IV bot CA with mets to bilateral neck

Fran,

Your situation sounds eerily like Heather's. Her 5th vertebrae was also destroyed and she lost much of the use of her arms. Although I have answered many questions and offered much advice here on the forum and in private e-mails, I have never talked to anyone else that had this particular situation. I do not remember anyone else here discussing it before either, other than in relation to Heather.

Because of going through this with Heather, I probably have an insight (on this particular subject) that few others here would, so please feel free to ask me questions either here on the forum or by e-mail.

I am wondering if you have been offered surgery to "repair" your spine? Although the pain may be under control for now, I fear that may not continue to be the case. Heather was on a constant morphine drip for months and although the dose was quite high, her pain was still not controlled. I hope that does not happen with you, but if the cancer continues to do its dirty work, the spine will continue to be compromised and that may become the case. I would love to discuss this with you, as I feel I may be of some help to you at this time.

Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie

Dear Fran,

Continue to wish you well. Please know I and many members are prayinf for you. Thank You for sharing your news with us.

Love Ya, Danny Boy

Hi Fran, I am thinking of you and praying for you, God Bless, Love, Carol