Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
OP Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
Been absent for a while, trying to come to terms with yet another loss in our family.
I want to write something, actually need to, and yet I am at such a loss for words....they feel so empty. I have lost members in my own family, you would think I would know what to say to Eddie and his sisters, yet everything sounds so inappropiate. My daughters are both having a difficult with his death, I am too.
Did you ever feel like you don't know what to do to help yourself?
Before I forget I wanted to thank everyone here for your kind words and for your suggestions, they were very much appreciated.
Love,
Donna


Donna
CG to Mom, dx 4/25/07 with tongue cancer,T3N0,tx began 7/6/07, 31 tx's of IMRT, 8 cycles of Erbitux. Brachytherapy, surgery, left neck dissection and temp trach placed all on 9/17/07, trach removed 10/17/07. ORN of jaw, late effect of radiation symptoms. **lost my beautiful mother on 5/5/11.
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,606
Likes: 2
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Offline
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,606
Likes: 2
Donna,

I am so sorry to hear how painful the situation is for you. You are saying exactly what your heart feels and what you are saying to us is what you should say to Eddie, his sisters and your daughters. The things I am hearing you say is that you are at a loss for words, that everything you want to say feels so empty but you want them to know so bad how much you love them and how much you are struggling with it all. Tell them you wish there were words you could say that would make their pain go away but there just aren't. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes and no matter how hard we try we don't know why so many people have to suffer from this horrible disease. Acknowledge that it affects all those that love someone when cancer takes their life.

Maybe sit down and try to think of the good memories and some fun things about all the interrelationships of the family. Hugs to you and everyone. There is nothing easy when it comes to cancer.

Ed


SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
OP Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
Thanks Ed. I have shared exactly that with everyone, but still feels empty. We do have some nice memories, he was a gentle person, easy to talk to and you could feel how much he enjoyed spending time with all of us.
The night before he died Ed, his sisters and I all had a "slumber party" with Pop-pop. They were all so frightened to leave him and to stay at the same time...think us all being together made it a bit easier. I know in my heart his dad could feel us right there.
Thank you for your kind words, the support is always so helpful. I know at times none of us knows what to write to each other in times such as these.

Last edited by Donnarose; 05-15-2008 06:06 AM. Reason: spelling

Donna
CG to Mom, dx 4/25/07 with tongue cancer,T3N0,tx began 7/6/07, 31 tx's of IMRT, 8 cycles of Erbitux. Brachytherapy, surgery, left neck dissection and temp trach placed all on 9/17/07, trach removed 10/17/07. ORN of jaw, late effect of radiation symptoms. **lost my beautiful mother on 5/5/11.
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 681
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 681
Donna,
From the time you first posted about Ed's father it was obvious that he was a very dear person in your life. The term in-law does not seem to apply to your relationship with your husband's family. May you all be comforted by each other as you pass through these difficult days.
Malka


SCC stage II Partial mandibulectomy w. neck dissection- July 2005. Renal cancer w. partial nephrectomy-Jan 2004. Breast cancer discovered in routine mammogram. Successful lumpectomy, sentinal nodes clear, RT only-2008 Reconstruction of mandible w fibula free flap-Jan 09. TORS removal of begnin pappiloma from esophagus-2010. Masectomy,rt breast 2013.
Support OCF
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
OP Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
Thank you Malka.


Donna
CG to Mom, dx 4/25/07 with tongue cancer,T3N0,tx began 7/6/07, 31 tx's of IMRT, 8 cycles of Erbitux. Brachytherapy, surgery, left neck dissection and temp trach placed all on 9/17/07, trach removed 10/17/07. ORN of jaw, late effect of radiation symptoms. **lost my beautiful mother on 5/5/11.

Link Copied to Clipboard
Top Posters
ChristineB 10,507
davidcpa 8,311
Cheryld 5,260
EzJim 5,260
Brian Hill 4,912
Newest Members
Jina, VintageMel, rahul320, Sean916, Megm37
13,103 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums23
Topics18,168
Posts196,925
Members13,103
Most Online458
Jan 16th, 2020
OCF Awards

Great Nonprofit OCF 2023 Charity Navigator OCF Guidestar Charity OCF

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5