I just joined this sight and read a few of the posts. Im happy for all of you that are doing well and are cancer free. I wish that was the case for my husband Jim. He is 44 years old and was diagnosed with stage 4 tonsil and lymph node cancer, HPV positive almost 2 years ago. After a grueling 5 months of chemo and radiation he was given the remission status. 3 months later a cat scan showed that the cancer spread to both lungs with 2 tumors in the right lung and 1 in the left. He had a wedge removal surgery of the left lung last December and was given a year to live. The cancer is now progressed to 11 tumors in both lungs, 3 lymph nodes in both lungs, the right and left main bronchi are encased by metastatic lymph nodes and the right and left pulmonary arteries are partially encased by metastatic lymph nodes. Chemo and radiation stopped working in March and this past June he started a clinical trial that we found out yesterday didnt work either. He starts his 2nd clinical trial in a couple of weeks. His cancer is now terminal with the best estimation being probably sometime in this upcoming year. This cancer was caught early, at stage 1 tonsil cancer. It was found by accident at the dentist. We went to the best doctors at the best hospitals. His oral cancer has not come back but we didnt catch that one cancer cell that found its way into his lungs. Im feeling very lost right now as to how to help my husband. We are terrified at what is to come and pray everyday that these clinical trials will give him a little bit longer. Anyways, my therapist that I started seeing recommended this sight for me. Thank you all for reading this and letting me tell our story. I hope someday soon to get back on this website and give you all a positive story with the new clinical trial he starts soon. Good luck and prayers to all who are suffering from this horrible disease.

I'm so sorry this happened this way. 5 mos of chemo and rads is a lot! Your husband is a trooper. his cancer sounds very agressive - and stage one is usually optimal I'm so surprised its become so invasive. There are several people here who've had repeated recurrences they can likely give you some much needed support. I will definately say a prayer for your hubby. Miracles do happen. I'll hope or one for him. Hugs!

I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. No wonder you are feeling lost - I am sure these last two years must seem like the worst nightmare ever. How we all wish there was something we could do to ease your pain. It is sometimes difficult for this "virtual community " to get you tangible assistance, but here is where you need to be very specific with family and friends. When they say "is there anything we can do " or a version of that, lean on them with tasks they CAN do for you to allow you more time with your husband - people who offer really do mean it but all too often they are not asked to do anything. Dishes, shopping, whatever the task - get as much help as you can. Don't forget to try to take care of you too - you will need to rest and eat well to be fully present.

Hugs

Donna

Hugs to you both.

Hi Wendy - What a rough road the two of you have been on! I do hope that the next clinical trial your husband starts soon will be the one that changes things for the better. As Donna says, i t is important to take care of You, too - and let friends and family share some of the tasks. People do want to help but often, they don't know how unless you tell them. Perhaps you could make a list of the day-to-day things that need doing or things that your husband would like that he hesitates to ask for. Whenever someone asks how they can help, you can show them the list so they can pick something they feel comfortable doing and it can make someone who cares about you feel really good to be helping out in some way. Check back here often and let us know how things are going.

Welcome to OCF, Wendy. Im very sorry to read about Jim's and your struggles with oral cancer and all the horrible things that go with it. What a terrible road you both have been on. You will find some comfort here with our members to help give you moral support. We even have a special section for caregivers. That was made for situations like yours where the caregiver can vent and people will understand and offer their suggestions and understanding.

Please remember during all of this to take a couple minutes a day or once a week for yourself. Being a caregiver can be a thankless job full of stress while you try to keep a smile on your face. I have the utmost respect for all of our caregivers. Sometimes the stress of being a caregiver can be alot to bear and they will need some help. Dont be ashamed to go speak to someone professional or to take some anxiety meds to help make this easier to cope with. It happens to the very best caregivers.

As the time draws near have hospice ready to call for assistance. From what I have read from other members, it has made things so much easier for the patient. They will ensure the patients comfort while maintaining their dignity.

Again, I am very sorry to read about Jim's situation. Hope you will stick around and get to know our wonderful caring members. I know we can help.

Best wishes!

Thank you all so much for you kind words. I just started seeing a therapist to help me deal with what is happening now and what is to come. 2 months ago Jim had a chest tube put in for a collapsed lung and then 2 weeks ago we found out there was heart damage from the cancer and his heart is releasing enzymes that only release if there is damage. Today he woke up with terrible shoulder pain which is the first sign that the lung is collapsing again. They said if that happens again he needs lung surgery that is going to "glue" the left outer lung to his chest wall to seal up the holes the cancer has made in his lungs. It is always something and is very hard to keep a smile on your face everyday. I envy you all so much that you were able to overcome this cancer, which we were told 2 years ago would stay local in the tonsil and he had a 90% chance of longterm survival. You sometimes scream, cry and wonder why did it happen to us. Jim is about to celebrate his 45 birthday and it will probably be his last one. Do you know how hard that is?? I am going to look at the section on caregivers. Im sure that will help me alot in addition to my therapist and group therapy that she is looking into for me. I am friends with a doctor who is looking into hospice for me when that time comes which im hoping will not be for quite awhile. I will update again and let you know how the next clinical trial he starts is working. They said they wont be able to save him but maybe prolong his life for a bit and the information they get from these trials will help cancer patients years down the road so at least his death will benefit fighting cancer in some form. That doesnt make this any easier but he is doing his part now for cancer research. I wish you all continued good health and pray for a cure for cancer so wonderful people like my Jim dont have to lose their lives at only 45 years old.

I also forgot to explain that in my first post when my husband was diagnosed it was with stage 1 HPV related tonsil cancer. By the time the doctors made his radiation mask and pulled out almost all his teeth and go their acts together the cancer spread to the lymph nodes and reach stage 4. I just didnt want to confuse people with stage 1 and stage 4 at the time he was diagnosed. sorry, should have been a bit more clear earlier.

Hello Wendy,

While I was reading your post I remembered this beautiful quote:
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

I am proud of your husband for fighting a good fight and for you for being the "wind beneath his wings".

May you find peace and love knowing that we are all here for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Take care of yourself.

Ina

I get the screen name: JimandWendy since right now that is how it must feel to you. Only you and him against a cold heartless unfair world where others get this disease and yet they are not heading for a hospice. I know its not much comfort, but my five years with three recurrences, each time happening just when I though I had it beat does show you that it's not always as easy for the posters here as we make it sound. Trust me, we all know pain and suffering from this disease and even those of us who survive have issues.
We have lost members - some younger than Jim. So vent, rant, cry, question here where at least we understand the context.
The caregivers on this board are very helpful, turn to them.
I just wanted to weigh in as a patient who had not done very well in the course of things so you would not feel so all alone
I'm old and remember the Dupont TV commericial:[quote] Better Things for Better Living: Through Chemistry[/quote] and only the bolded part became a national slogan. It's good advice here; In my opinion, you are facing a clear case of situational anxiety/depression and are a good candidate for Ativan, Zanax and Zofran. Jim is a good candidate for the Fentanyl patch. Push your doctors hard for real pain management. This sounds like a very aggressive cancer to have progressed so quickly from Stage I to Stage IV

Hi Wendy,

I am so sorry for your pain as a caregiver. I have been helping my father with his cancer for several years and I know how difficult it can be to see your loved one in so much distress. Make sure you get rest and nutrition and take up any offers to help, as others have said. That is the best thing that you can do for your husband...take care of yourself. I think the most difficult thing about being a caregiver is being that pillar of strength for the patient so that the patient can focus on himself instead of worrying about the impact he is having on his loved one. Just know that you are not alone, you are in our thoughts and prayers...I have found this community to be an incredible source of support (I only joined this week, but have been coming to this site for years). And one more thing...for me, the key is to never give up...I think everyone deals with this differently, but the only time I feel truly depressed is when I feel like everyone around me is giving up on my father. My father is a fighter and it sounds like your husband is to. As long as they have that fighting spirit, then we won't give up either and that little bit of hope lives on. Keep your focus on that light...that glimmer of hope. I read a very good quote, I think on this site, that I say to myself everyday now...don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow. There is a time to give up, but today is NOT that day. Today, your husband lives and fights the good fight. Today, the battle continues...and we will be there with them, giving them strength to continue on. Take care, Ang

A Prayer for the Caregiver
By Bruce McIntyre
Unknown and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless.
For your love, sacrificial, is God at his best.
You walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown,
And your courage, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved.

You hold shaking hands and provide the ultimate care:
Your presence, the knowing, that you are simply there.
You rise to face the giant of disease and despair,
It is your finest hour, though you may be unaware.

You are resilient, amazing, and beauty unexcelled,
You are the caregiver and you have done well!

you guys are really something. thank you so much for such encouraging words. they really do help. my husband right now is on ativan and vicodin. the new trial they are starting him on will include more meds but we dont know what they will want him on. i also take ativan to help with my anxiety. the hardest part for me is watching his fear and pain while trying to smile and keep positive thoughts in his head so he wont just give up. i believe he would have along time ago if i let him go that way. the doctors and family/friends are really amazed at him and the fact that he is still here being as sick as he is. we dont do much anymore since he is very tired and has terrible muscle and joint stiffness in his arms and legs now. we spend as much time together as we can. thankfully our kids are all grown. they are 22, 24 and 25. i couldnt imagine taking care of little ones while being a caregiver to this extent. our 22 year old son is in afghanistan, due to come home in february. the only wish my husband has right now is to take him to a red wings game when he is home, no matter how sick he is. kind of like a make a wish for a child. i will make sure that he is able to do that. he also just payed off our 24 year old daughters car to make things easier for her and to do something for her that she will remember that he did just for her. our 25 year old daughter and 1 year old grandson live in arizona. i flew them both here in june and surprised him. we hadnt met our grandson yet and he wanted to meet him, he was very happy that day. i am focused on making him happy, keeping him positive and try and give him nothing to worry about. he has one job and that is to try and get better or to keep himself here as long as possible, my job is to take care of everything else, including health and finances. i try not to say why me or why him but somedays i just want to scream at God or anyone who is around at the time. life can be cruel sometimes and this isnt fair to anyone who suffers from cancer. i have a wonderful husband and i was blessed for many many years of my life to have him in it. i hope that all of you kick the shit out of this disease and i hope that the research they are doing at my husbands expense can benefit you or your loved ones in the future. i wish you all could meet him, he is truly one of a kind.

Hello Wendy,

In 2006 my mother died of a massive stroke. I live 20,000 miles away. I remember the pain and agony of traveling in the plane. Literally slapping myself when I fell asleep thinking that God would not listen to my prayers if I slept. I lost my boarding pass and even could not check in myself at certain stop. I begged the lady at the check in counter sobbing, "I used to be able to think well but my mother had brain surgery and I can't think at all." She had her stroke Jan 11 and I arrived just in time for her to pass away. I was severely depressed and became withdrawn and anti social until 1 day my daughter saw me in the kitchen and said "Mom you are so unfair and selfish. You want to die now? Think of us too". That was a big blow on me. From that point I asked for help I went to bereavement meetings, saw a psychologist and took Zoloft.

I am telling my story because sometime we are stubborn and think we can handle everything. We want to be strong but we are not. We need to learn to ask help if we can't handle it.

I feel that OFC forum is a venue for me to reach out to others and at the same time all of you help me to heal and go through my mother-in-law's illness.

We don't know each other personally but there is a special bond between all of us. Stay strong Wendy don't be afraid and ask help. God bless always. Ina

Hello Wendy, I am new to this site and feel a little awkward replying to you when there are so many on here who must know so much, however your situation with Jim has really moved me to respond to you.
Firstly, I'm so sorry for you and can really understand your bewilderment, anger and fears. I think any way you can get through this is ok, whatever it takes. All the other advice given by others has been in my opinion spot on, look after yourself, cos if you don't you can't be there for Jim, exploring medications for you both as your situation changes and getting all those vital supports around you.
I write to you as all the females in my family have had cancer (all different types - I'm the only one to have had BOT cancer), my mum died at 54, my dear sister in law at 37 and 2 years ago my niece who I brought up after her mum died. My niece was a fabulous woman who had just given birth to a son and had a daughter of 2, so it fely so very tragic and unfair. What was worse for me was that I couldn't be with her as she died as she was living in NZ. We spoke on the phone the day she died. I had prepared a page of what I wanted to say but she started and said pretty much all the same things to me. It's wonderful that you can be with Jim right now, next to him to support and love. I do hope you can enjoy some of the time and not let it be spoiled by future worry and fears. Easier said than done. On the day she died my niece was taken outside to feel the sun on her face and the wind in her hair by her sister and she said it was such a gift. To be close to someone dying and to be alongside them is tough (I did this with my mum and sister in law)but I think somehow, we as carers can often connect with an inner strength (albeit often with a lot of background help)and get through even those most difficult of times.
Lastly I just wanted to say I managed an organisation here in Britain called Crossroads, which is set up to care for carers. Doing that I met many many carers and have listened to many tragic life situations and I know sometimes there isn't anywhere near enough support to assist people in their caring role. So I do urge you to accept support whenever and wherever it comes from. For myself I am in tears thinking of you right now and send you my heartfelt wishes for as positive a time to come as you can have together.
Lynne

Hi Wendy,
Wow. When I read your post I stopped half way through and got my husband to come and listen. By the time I was done reading we were both in tears. My husband said, "I feel so guilty." I understand what he means because we have lost several friends to cancer since going through treatment. No one knows why things happen the way they do, but please know that you will now be in our thoughts and prayers daily.
I wish that we could reach out and truly touch each other as we go through these things. I think the only people who can even remotely understand are the people who have lived it. As the caregiver I know how hard it is to watch our husbands suffer. The 5 months of tx were awful, as you say. There were many times that I would plaster on the smile and go about the day, but in the privacy of my shower is where I would cry. I had not yet found this site so I was going it alone. It was beyond comprehension, but all my friends disappeared. I was taking care of my husband, my 86 year old mom that had moved in with us the year before his dx, and 3 children that we had adopted 2 years before dx. I had my hands full and had to keep the house and finances going too, like you say. I thought I would never survive it, but I did and God sent people our direction who are now our friends. Some of our old friends came back around, but mostly our friends are new. I am wondering if the same thing has happened to you? Do you have a support system in place? If so, the list idea is a great one. Write down the things that need to be done and when folks ask, hand them the list. If you are on FB, put your needs on there if your friend base are close friends.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm glad your therapist directed you to us. I found this site toward the end of Kevin's tx. I was just about to lose my mind. He was just getting so bad and I didn't know what to do. I joined these forums and, like you, got immediate responses with true heart felt love and concern and understanding. I was not alone anymore. I knew what to expect a little better and could relax.
I pray that the next trial will bring some relief and comfort, but you will know when Jim has had enough. Don't be afraid to have frank conversations with him at that point. Let him feel some power and control over his situation. I'm so glad that you have a wonderful therapist. At least you have that physically present support person to lean on and confide in.
I cannot even imagine how you are feeling. I'm sure that some days are better than others and I pray that on those good days you can create some more wonderful memories with Jim. The game will be awesome.
I have a son in law and a nephew in Afganistan, so I know that has to be weighing heavily too. You are a remarkable woman. You are an inspiration to me. I am so impressed that you took your therapists advice and popped in on us and let us into your very personal and intimate space. We are here to stay!! Please know that these forums are watched very closely. You will be on our watch lists and we will see your posts pretty quickly. Like Charm said...scream, cry, yell, curse, praise, and know you are being heard.
Much love,
Kathy

thank you both for responding. i am fortunate that i do have a wonderful sister that lives only 10 minutes away, my best friend of over 40 years lives 5 house down and our 24 year old daughter still lives at home with us and she is a certified patient care technician specializing in older patients with dementia. my husbands family lives about 20 minutes away but i really think they are in denial about how serious jims condition is. he hides alot from people and when they ask he tells people he feels great. he doesnt want pity or to worry anybody. he can be in so much pain but people will always see him smiling. just today he said to me how weird it was but sometimes he just forgets that he is sick and for a few minutes everything is great and then he remembers. he tells me that he isnt ready to die yet but is starting to accept that it will happen. its so hard to listen to and im not ready to have the "death" talk. he has told me his wishes but we really havent discussed things like hospice or who he wants to leave certain things to. we arent ready for that yet. my friend lost her husband to pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. his name was mark and he was only 48 years old. jim wasnt diagnosed yet and i remember us talking after the funeral about how we could never imagine how hard that would be to watch a spouse die from cancer and how lucky we were that we were healthy. 3 months later jim was diagnosed with cancer. it has been a rollercoaster ride for almost 2 years now. my friends threw a benefit for jim on june 30th. it was wonderful. we had hundreds of people come out and support jim and his fight. we wanted to have it while he was healthy enough to enjoy it. he had such a great time. i have seen my husband cry 4 times. once when his brother died 4 years ago from diabetes, the day he was diagnosed, the day of his benefit and this past thursday when we were told that the clinical trial didnt work. jim is the perfect image of a man who enjoys life so much. i always said he was a 44 year old man on the outside and a 12 year old boy on the inside. he loves to have fun, play with our nieces and nephews, loves video games and pouts like a child when he looses. all the neighborhood kids love him and he is kind to everyone he meets. the saying only the good die young has never been more truthful then in jims case. if our life story of love, sickness and eventually heartbreak for me can make one person hug their spouse more, love their spouse more and realize what a gift it is to spend a healthy life with the other half of your heart, something that is going to be taken from me, then im okay with telling strangers details of jims illness. What I would give to have him healthy again..most of you were given such a gift of a second chance, use it well and remember how lucky you are. God bless you all and please pray that my jim can stay on this earth for a bit longer. im not ready to lose him yet, but then i again i dont think ill ever be ready for that.

Ok...I am crying yet again. You are beautiful souls. What a wonderful marriage you are demonstrating to your community. We do cherish each other a little more since tx, but the farther out we get the more petty we get again. Thank you for the reminder!
I'm so glad you have family close by. That is such a gift. There are some who go this whole thing alone, being the patient. I can't even imagine.
Thank you for sharing. We will talk again soon I'm sure.
Blessings,
Kathy

Hy Wendy,My husband was tacking care of me and peope were trying to help and we kept saying no. It took about 5 months before he would let someone in to just watch me sleep. We had our own Company and he was doing that by phone. I looked at him and said call this lady friend of mine and see if she will sit so he could get a break. That finally started to help him and me. I am still suffering alot of the side effects of cancer TX, but now I go to therapy to keep in the moment and am desperately trying to get my husband some help because now a situation came up for him. And I can't give back fully what he has done for me, but get him to talk to others support groups such as this one to talk about what its like being a care giver. I deal with the guilt and deals with to much again. So it is true do take some time for your self. Fix up your face when you come back from that little time so that he knows you are taking care of you too!
You will both smile and even become closer to each other. Hope this helps a little. I will definitely put you on my prayers list.

Wendy - it's so good that you have family and friends close by. Do let them help in whatever way they can. These are special times for you and Jim - times to feel the love you have for each other and to enjoy even the smallest of things which can be so meaningful - sometimes just a look or a touch can convey so much more than words can say. You are a wonderful caregiver and have shown such love and strength through all that you and Jim have had to deal with. I join my prayers to others' in hoping for you and Jim to have more time together and for some positive news to come with his treatment plan.

thank you all. im sorry it took a day or two to respond. unfortunately we had another emergency and jim was admitted to the hospital yesterday morning. we just got home. he was having chest pains and start coughing up blood clots. of course they couldnt find the cause other then the obvious, cancer. he is getting very weak and has to learn to slow down and get more rest. his body is betraying him now and i dont know if this is the beginning to the end or if he will stop coughing up blood once he gets it all out. it was a very scary couple of days but since they really cant do much for him they just sent him home with pain medications. i really appreciate all the support and i will continue to give you updates on jim health.

Wendy,

It's really helpful to readers if you have a Signature Line for us to read with every post.

Hi Wendy,
Sorry for the hospital visit. Will keep praying for peace over your situation. That had to be kind of scary to see though. Again, I'm so glad you have family close.
If you can find a minute to put a signature in under your "my stuff" that would be great. I know you have all the info in your first post though, and you are under a lot of stress, so don't fret about it if you can't get to it. It makes it easier for others to offer help if they can see what has happened by looking at your most recent post.
Thank you so much for updating. Like I said, will be checking daily, and thinking of you often.
Kathy

thank you for telling me about the signature line. i didnt know how to do that. hope its easier for you to read. there is so much more but it wouldnt let me use everything. shortened it as easy and most accurate as i could.

Great job on the signature. Thinking of you!!

Wendy, my thoughts are with you and Jim.

jim and i had a rough couple of days and thought id update for those who are interested. jim original cancer was of the left tonsil which spread to lymph nodes on both sides of the neck and then into both lungs. last week we noticed a lump on the left side of his neck and within a few days 2 more lumps on the left side of his face. one by his ear and one between his nose and cheek. went to the oncologist today and had a biopsy. they seem to think that the cancer is literally "seeping" through the skin, as they call it, and seems to have spread to skin cancer now as well. we get the results on wednesday but they are pretty certain of what it is. dont know how much more my husband can take of this. ill update with the biopsy results when i can. thanks for all the prayers, we need them right now.

Mega prayers to you... That's a bizarre movement of the cancer it sounds like he's very immunosupressed. Hugs and love to you all.

Thank you for updating. It sounds very aggressive and crazy.
Like Cheryl, praying for you guys daily.
Kathy

I'm not sure if this will help cocoapop on here has a father with a similar situation. They had a recurrence after initial treatment (and other treatment was ineffective - he did not have lung involvement but the cancer was persistent) - there is a lab in California that requires a fresh biopsy sample within 24 hours - they take his specific tissue and test it to see what it responds to, and then suggest a treatment plan, this is more effective as im sure you understand because it's specific to his cancer and his DNA - rather than using the standard treatment. It might be worth a try - compared to most hospital procedures etc it's reasonable price wise ( I think it was 500) anyway he's not "cured" but at the present he's stable - hugs, prayers and luck to you.

Wish you both the best.

I really appreciate all your well wishes but unfortunately there is more bad news. I really feel terrible posting all this about Jim because I know there are recently diagnosed people just signing up and I dont want to scare them. Please know that my husbands cancer is very aggressive. I dont know why he couldnt beat this like so many others and I dont want anyone to think that this is what they have in store for them. By telling my story is to let people know what we are going through and hopefully people will realize how lucky they are to have that second chance and not waste it. On Tuesday the hospital called and told us to get to emergency and check in immediately. The cat scan he took on Monday to prepare for his new clinical trial next month showed a very dangerous fungal pneumonia growing in his right upper lobe of his lung. We were admitted and 5 different fungal meds are now being administered around the clock. They did a MRI on Tuesday as well and sadly found 6 large tumors in Jims brain and 10 small tumors surrounding the rest of the brain. There is also a fungal infection that spread to the brain as well. My husband is starting full brain radiation Monday morning. 5 days a week for 3 weeks. They cant treat the cancer in both lungs until radiation is over. The doctors do not think he will survive the brain radiation at this point. They told me yesterday that life expectancy is 2 weeks to 2 months. I know that isnt written in stone and miracles to happen but we need so many miracles at this point that is it beyond my reasoning to think that my Jim will beat this. I am devastated beyond belief and am barely holding it together right now. I wish is that he doesnt suffer and that when the pain becomes unbearable that the doctors are able to control it with whatever means necessary. I envy all of you so very much. We did nothing different or wrong to cause this. Sadly my husband fell into the small percentage of tonsil cancers patients that wont survive. I will update when I can. Im home trying to get some sleep before going to spend another day at the hospital. Please understand if I cant respond for a couple of days. Please pray for a miracle for my wonderful husband. Ive never met a bigger fighter or someone that loves life more then he does. Thank you all so much.

Wendy I am so sorry to read this! I hate seeing another person so young losing their battle. My husband was the same age. Know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Cherish the time you have and make the most you can of it.

I hope that the forum caregivers who have walked in your shoes can offer you more tangible assistance Wendy.

I am so very sorry for what you are going through. You are exactly right - neither you nor Jim did anything to deserve this and I wouldn't blame you if you felt mad as hell at everyone and everything right now. No one knows why flipping awful things happen to good people, and this whole situation is awful. My thoughts are with you. I hope you both manage to find some peace.

Do not worry about scaring posters - we as a community know this disease (and all life threatening diseases) have the potential to take lives. Hugs

Donna

We are all praying for miracles.

Oh Wendy, my heart is breaking for you....sending tons of prayers to you and Jim.

Love,

Shelley

You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers my dear.

Love

Eric

Wendy,
Your story has touched many of us and our thoughts and prayers are with you and Jim. Please give him a hug from those of us on this site that care so much for what you both are going through. This is a bastard of a desease and it takes many way too young. I pray daily for a cure and those that walk this way may be free of pain. Love, Kris

Dear Wendy,
My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry this got so out of control so fast. There really are no words at this point.
I'm glad you have family nearby. I'm so glad you have had an amazing marriage and will always carry him in your heart.
Our family is praying for you both daily. I read your post out loud and all 5 of us cried. I have 3 of the most loving children! I am so pleased that they weep when they hear these life circumstances. We are all in this together. I know we aren't there and we don't know each other, but this site brings us together to love and support each other. We are here along side you!
Thnak you for taking the time to update us. You have touched many lives and we really do want to know how things are going.
I pray for peace over the situation and that Jim would not be in pain.
Blessings,
Kathy

I'm so sorry, Wendy for the way things are going. Please know that you and Jim and your family are in our hearts and prayers.