Hi Angelia,
Sorry you feels so down. This is the worst treatment. Everyone has given you some great ideas, I can only echo them. I was realy against taking pain meds ( in my old hippi days I would have jumped at the chance!) I did start taking morphine , maybe in my 4th week, maybe 5th. It did help, stopprd the pain, helped me sleep. I was affraid it would be difficult to stop and I would get hooked. By the end of treatment I had both fental patches and morephine.It only took about a month to get off the drugs and I honestly can say needed them. The two biggest side effects were I could not read, too spacey and got quite constipated.

Hang in there, we are all pulling for you

Steve

Re the medical pot. I was given some Marinol (sp?) which I was told was pot in a pill. $20 each BTW. I was excited even though I felt like crap. I thought OK a little buzz, the munchies, the feel good, that's just what I needed!!! WRONG....they did none of those things so if they offer it to you say NO THANKS unless they give you some freebies to try first.

David,

Marinol is synthetic thc, not medical marijuana...totally different. It's like asking for real mayo and getting miracle whip...yuck

I didn't need any antidepressants but I did take a lot of pain meds. When I was in the hospital for 9 or 10 days for severe dehydration the morphine was a welcoming friend. When I first went in the hospital and they asked me how my pain was from 1 to 10--I would say 4 or 5, in no time, I learned 9's worked well for me...LOL.

Hi Angelia,
I think the depression is very normal for what we have to go through with this lousy cancer. I, too, became very depressed and am still taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, they are SO helpful and nothing to be ashamed of! Please ask for what you need, both in terms of the depression and the pain - I don't think I could have made it without the narcotics, I am so thankful I was "doped up" for much of the treatment!

Chin up, you can do it?
Lucinda

DavidCPA

I'm with EricS on this. Marinol is a pathetic substitute for medical marijuana. Of course smoking is veboten for us oral cancer patients, but the Volcano vaporizer is one alternative albeit controversial. As a full disclaimer, I have to share that when my little brother was dying of AIDS related illness, medical marijuana at San Francisco General Hospital, it made a major difference in the quality of his final two weeks of life. It was such an astonishing difference for someone I loved that I cannot be objective in my evaluation.
Not that Angelia needs this, but I am struck about how all cancer forums tiptoe around this issue.
charm

Oops, meant to hit !, not ?

Chin up!! You can do it!!

I know I can do this. Here is it 3:00 AM and I woke up this morning to horrible throat pain. I have only had one week of treatment. This is not sounding very well. It hurts to swallow and just plain hurts. It happened overnight also. Anyway, I thanks for all your encouragment. I see my Dr. on Tuesday so I think I will be asking for some pain meds. I do have darvocet, but I want something stronger so I can sleep through this whole thing.

Angelia

Welcome to the early early early bird club. I had almost forgotten how I would wake up every night during TX between 1 or 4 am to take more Pain medicine. Even after TX, rather than toss & turn in bed, I'd just get up to read or else write in my journal for a couple of hours, then try and sleep on the couch.
It was a milestone of recovery when I could sleep thru the night. Too bad, I had not discovered OCF the first time around. When the cancer came back, and the difficulty in sleeping returned (this time from choking on mucous), at least I could post on OCF those pre dawn hours.
You can do this, we all have and there's no reason why you won't also. Still it is so hard, but trust us, it does pass.
charm

Yes Angelia,

the early morning club or for me the never sleep club. One of many side effects of pain medication is restlessness and insomnia, more prominent as your tolerance grows as well. Usually I'd see Charm, Cookey and I online...good company really. If you are still feeling quite a bit of pain you may want to ask your dr for other options, fentanyl being the strongest.

Charm you did make a good point in the fact that most posters on this site tip toe around the medical marijuana options. I don't understand the taboo anymore really. I never did illegal drugs or drink in school due to athletics and even after competing was over for me I stuck to alcohol and had a negative view of marijuana.

Even a year after diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and all the way through tx and surgery I'd declined to try it, mostly out of ignorance yet I'd never "smoked" anyhing before and certainly wasn't going to start. Then my oldest brother, a chronic pain patient, introduced me to a vaporizer.

I had left my breakthrough meds at home and was experiencing pain and nausea...low and behold the vaporized "authentic" thc (not the marinol crap)eased my pain, settled my stomach, put me in a good mood, made me sleepy and extremely hungry. Um hello? Why the hell wasn't I allowed to have this during rads/chemo?

A drug, whose side effects are a blessing for cancer patients? Surely not!?! I've joined MPP.org (marijuana policy project) to help push medical marijuana laws in my state. I find it funny that our Dr's can push heavy opiods, benzo's, anti-anxiety/antidepressants, Ambien and a slew of other drugs with nasty side effects, yet vaporized (no carcinogens) marijuana is taboo. Blows me away.