I know that I am only the caregiver here and sometimes I feel very guilty for getting upset at the cancer. I am not the one that's going through all this. I know that my husband is going through a lot and my heart so much goes out to him. I try to be of any help that I can be. I sometimes feel that I say the wrong things and do the wrong things. He is not one to show emtions but now he is and I am not sure how to deal with all that. I am needing some advice.
Pat

Pat- You are great. I know it must seem liek you are mistepping sometimes. There are no guidebooks to dealing with someone going through cancer. You will have good days and bad days. Your presence is a comfort to him I'm sure- even if it seems like he is annoyed by your presence he's probably just processing all that is happening to him and is just getting through it.. dealing with the side effects and just not feeling good.

I often would at teh same time want my husband to go away and be there at the same time. We spent so much time together it as hard sometimes but even when I felt at my worst and just felt sad and upset about all that was hapening to me I still was so thankful to have him by my side-- sometimes I may not have expressed it that way at certain moments when I felt just terrible.

I know this treatment time is so very difficult.
You sound lieka very sweet and thoughtful woman- He is lucky to have you.

Hang in there... Take care--- K

You sound like such a great person. I know that often times I would want to be left alone, and then be mad that my husband was not there. How silly is that? I would tell him I want to be alone and he would leave me alone, but then i would want them right there with me. This crappy disease makes people have emotions and do things they would never think about doing. Just hang in there. You can do it!

I think the caregivers job is the hardest myself. Watching my wife juggle me, my kids, finances, her work etc...I got really upset with myself for putting her through that. I couldn't imagine having to sit by and watch, powerlessly, while my spouse fought cancer and not be able to help "fix" it.

You do seem like a great person, hang in there, the sweetest parts of life are in those small moments...

[quote] know that I am only the caregiver here [/quote] Oh my theres a statement that needs correcting.ONLY?

You do the job because you want to,you need to,and because you love him.what you won't get for a while is much in the way of job satisfaction.Nurses and doctors get the gratitude ,we carers get the attitude and the crap,but never undervalue what you are doing or the vital part you play in the overall picture.Husbands give us a hard time because they can lol but we cant get our coats on and go home at the end of the shift,and we care and hurt when they are difficult and bad tempered so we get upset and sometimes despondant and even take it all very personally.This forum is design built for us.Come here and get it off your chest,ask advice for specifics,or just shoot the breeze.

It does help

liz

ONLY as Liz says....were it not for my caregiver I would be dead today so she ranks right up there with all the cancer specialists who treated me. I couldn't have done it without any of these key players.