Monday June 24, 2013 marked 1 year that my dad lost his battle against the cancer. Every day for the past 12 months I have become more and more angry. I am so happy for those who have been able to beat this ugly disease but why couldnt my dad? I have so many unanswered questions. I miss him every day! I just do not know what to do anymore.

Hi Amy,

I am certain it is hard each day, thinking about not having your day around but you can not change that now. The way I look at such things that get me down and make me feel bad for a minute or a day is the time I felt bad was living life less fully and less happily than if I had not been feeling sad or bad.

You are one year down the road and admittedly know this past year has been filled with more angry days than happy days. This is something you CAN change so the next year anniversary you can say this last year was so much better than the first.

There are many things one can try but my words of advise is it has to come from deep within and catch yourself in each moment when that anger comes over you and find and use the techniques that take you away from those feelings.

I know, so much easier said than done, but it can and does work. best to you. don

Sorry for your loss, and know how you feel still. I have lost three brothers at young ages, one while I was recovering from my own treatment, and not a day goes by that I don't think of them. It takes time to and how long, is different for anyone. There are phases one has to go, each taking its own amount of time, to finally accept this loss. These are shock, sympathy, blame, anger, depression and finally acceptance. Maybe seek bereavement counseling, a friend or support group to help you.

Amy, Im very sorry for your loss. Its never easy losing someone we love, especially a parent or child. Time will help you to adjust to being without your father. It wont be easy, but it does get a little easier to handle with time.

You have every right to be upset and angry. You have been cheated out of having your father. Oral cancer is a terrible disease with awful survival statistics. Thats why activism, early detection thru oral cancer screenings and vaccinating with the Guardisil shot are all so important. Thru all that education it will help get those affected diagnosed earlier so they have a better chance at beating it.

Another thing to help may be a grief counselor to help you to cope with your loss. Ive heard wonderful things from several people who have used them.

Cancer steals more than anyone realizes. If I were you I would seek out a professional who's had cancer grief experience and talk to them. I'm sure your Dad would tell you that what you are feeling is not doing you any good and it won't change what happen and you have the rest of your life to live, etc, etc. Please do yourself and all those you love a favor and get some words of wisdom from a professional.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I have been thinking about talking to a counselor about this and I know that my dad would not want me to be sad or angry. I just miss him so much and it is hard to be without him. Thank you again everyone.

I'm still pissed about how my father passed as well. I totally know the feeling. My dad's death was totally unnecessary (it wasn't cancer related a stroke and negligence of the facilities he was being cared for in- I do take some comfort in two things - my dad as so debilitated by the time he passed that he wanted to go - this I know - and secondly I spent a great amount of time with him the last months of his life and as hard as it was to watch him suffer I am so glad we had that time and I know that what I did for him at the time was all I could do so my regrets in this matter are minimal. See someone it will help to talk it out. Hugs

Amylynn, I totally get what you are saying. My mom died of ovarian cancer in 1981, and even after all this time, I miss her everyday. She never got to see my kids graduate or get married, and become successful people in their own right. She was only 61 and I think of her a lot, especially when I was going through all of my treatments. Hugs!

God me too zengalib. My mom died at 59 - this was 11 yrs ago. I still miss her.