Posted By: Kelley F does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 12-31-2010 04:50 PM
I have had a cold for a couple of weeks. Not alot of congestion, just alot of pnd and coughing. My 6 year old was diagnosed with m. pneumonia and just finished round of antibiotics. He seems to be on the mend. Anyway, I went to ent with right sided symptoms. I've always complained of left sided issues. My cancer originated in left tonsil and spread to right neck. Right neck disection and tons of radiation and cisplatin. Woke up about a week and half ago with shooting pain in right ear(again had a cold). Had to take darvocet pain was so bad. Pain has subsided but now feeling clogged with muffled hearing. I took my son to his pediatrician the next day and had him look in my ear, who said my ear drum was bulging. I did home remedies for the next week, olive oil, hydrogen peroxide, etc. Muffled feeling never went away. Saw my ent on tues. , did his exam and scope, also looked in my ear. everything looked good, no bulging or infection and decided to send me for hearing test. I apparently have mild high frequency hearing loss and sent me for mri of brain and inner ear. I did have cisplatin. I'm awaiting results and am scared. I know he is looking for acoustic neuroma. My fear is he missed something in nasopharynx when he scoped me. My logical self says i have sinusitis on right side that has clogged my eustacian tube. But my fears are making me irrational again. I also have slight numbness over the affected ear and slight puffiness in right cheek. I have been taking oral decongestants, nasal spray and amoxicillin for 3 days. Anyone have any thoughts? Thanks and I hope everyone has a good new year.

Kelley
Posted By: ChristineB Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 12-31-2010 07:13 PM
Kelley, try to relax. After all you have been thru I know its hard to not get upset when something goes wrong. Your ENT already gave you a thorough exam and did some tests. Maybe its just a good old fashioned head cold. Give your meds time to work.

Be careful with doing home remedies, always check with your doc first. Not sure what you did with the olive oil and hydrogen peroxide.
Posted By: Gary Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-01-2011 01:05 AM
Kelley,
I am in exactly the same place right now - getting over a cold, sinusitus, and haven't been able to hear out my left ear for several weeks. This all happened right after I had my 8 year checkup with the ENT. Somebody here just posted an article about sinusitus and RT, it was a doctor I believe - you may want to search around for it.


DO NOT put hydrogen peroxide in your mouth! That is a very bad idea. Ever since my treatment, I had had occasional hearing issues, usually always coupled with a cold or flu. A short course of Prednisone usually resolves it. It doesn't happen overnight either. Salt and water gargle is safe however. I have also been taking regular aspirin and I think it's

It's just collateral damage from the RT. It is also very unlikely that Cisplatin would be causing hearing loss at this late date - that typically occurs very early in treatment and they would have pulled you off it.

Listen to your logical self and happy new Year.
Posted By: walknlite Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-01-2011 03:07 AM
I understand your fear and anxiety. My psychologist told me that it takes time because we go through so much stuff with this type of cancer. I still get a lot of fear and anxiety and often wonder how do they really know even with biopsies? So you are not alone. We just have to believe that they are doing everything right. I do know that your ENT is being very thorough so he cen ber certain find anything. Sounds like you are in good hands. Again the more time we go without a recurrence the easier it will get. I however, do not believe it will ever go away, but it will lessen some.
Posted By: Kelley F Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-04-2011 05:13 AM
I had an appointment with my gp this morning for my annual physical. He was able to read the mri report and told me I had pansinusitis, maxillary thickening and mastoiditis, all on the right side. I have just finished my script for amoxicillin, however still feel the clogged feeling in my ear as well as general discomfort. He gave me a couple of scripts, for augmenten and zithromax as i wait for my ent to call me. I thought i would wait for my ent as he is the specialist, just wanted the script in hand. I've done some research on mastoiditis and it appears to be a rare complication of an otitis media. When my ent looked in my ear last tues, he saw no infection, although my son's pediatrician saw a bulging eardrum the wednesday prior. I wondered if anyone has had mastoiditis and how they treated it. I've also read it can be difficult to treat, often requiring iv antibiotics. The irony of this is my mom had mastoiditis that was very advanced due to a chronic ear infection. Her ear drum was burst as a child and it never healed properly. She had to have a mastoidectomy. In a weird sort of way, i feel she is here with me through this and it makes me smile. smile Anyway, does anybody have any experience with this. If so, any advice would be appreciated.

thanks,

Kelley
Posted By: Gary Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-04-2011 06:06 AM
Zithromax AND amoxicillin?!?! That's a lot of anti-b's. When my right ear gets clogeed my ENT puts me on a 10 day course of prednisone and that reduces the swelling to allow the pressure behind the ear drum to back off- then my hearing comes back. My H&N surgeon claims he can tell the state of the eardrum with an otoscope, just by the color. I had the same eardrum rupture when I was a kid and boy did it hurt! The eardrum healed and I have a slight midrange hearing loss in the right ear because of it. I really don't know if I would recommend a gp working in the head and neck - see your ENT and do it right. You are wise to hold off on those anti-b's until you see the ENT. It's probably not mastoiditis, just a plugged up eardrum. Happens to me a couple of times a year. Sometimes with pain and sometimes without. And always on the same side as the tumor so radiation damage is part of the problem.
Posted By: Kelley F Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-04-2011 01:00 PM
Thanks Gary, he gave me the scripts so i could be up and running when my ent called me. i dont think me knew the exact protocol for mastoiditis. I think i had an ear infection the week before last but cleared it on my own. I put warm olive oil in my ear as well as half and half water and peroxide. apparently that helps to soothe and draw out infection. anyway the mastoiditis diagnosis has me kind of spooked, like i said with iv antiobiotics. nothing to fool with. hopefully its just backed up. maybe a course of prednisone will do the trick. i have always suffered through my symptoms but this time its really bothering me. sorry to hear about your ear issues. my mom struggled her whole life with ear infections, which se never had treated properly. the doctors said the infection almost got into her brain. poor old gal. what a trooper. anyway thanks for your help
Posted By: EricS Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-04-2011 02:13 PM
For me fear and anxiety due to cancer has subsided. I don't fear a recurrence everytime I feel a lump I didn't notice before or when I have an irritation in my mouth etc...

I guess for me I'm not going to waste whatever time I have left on this earth worrying about something I can't control. What will be will be. That doesn't mean that I will stop going in for my checkups or anything like that. If I have to go another round I want to make sure I have the best chance at living because frankly I love my life. But I also understand that I'm not going to live forever nor am I guaranteed tomorrow so I focus on living every minute to the fullest.

When I started to live my life this way, frankly I've been surprised what I can accomplish and how sweet life is.


Eric
Posted By: Kelley F Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-04-2011 02:23 PM
You have a great attitude Eric, and after everything you've been through, I admire that in you. I try really hard and succeed most of the time, but obviously for me the fear is always there, not always apparent, but it comes up and bites me in the ass when my breaking point is reached. I know I need to not let it get to this point because it accomplishes nothing. I just need to understand that the treatment we had has long lasting effects(interesting article Charm posted). Thanks for the words of wisdom.

Kelley
Posted By: EricS Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 01-04-2011 03:29 PM
What I've realized Kelley is that my attitude is a choice that I have to make daily...just like the choice I make to love my wife everyday and to make our beautiful marriage work.

Some days are tougher then others. In my opinion not only do you have to make that decision daily...you have to have people around you to help you guard your feelings and help you commit to that decision. Brothers in Arms if you will.

I have two people in my life that help me do that, my wife and one of my business partners. Each day before we open our business we pick an uplifting motivational song, stop what we are doing and just listen and focus on the words and message. We commit to each other that no matter what the day throws at us we will keep our focus. After the song is over the person that picks the song shares a positive feeling or thought and then we break.

It sounds corny...but that 5 minutes out of the day with those two people that are committed to the same thing I am helps me keep my focus and to stay sharp. It is also amazing the power that music has over our mood and emotions.

I always like to quote Master Yoda from Empire Strikes Back when he says to Luke: "There is no try or try not, only do or do not." when Luke is trying to use the force to lift his X-Wing fighter from the marshes of Degoba(sp?).

Anyway it's my hope that you are set free from your fears and anxiety.

Keep your chin up

Eric
Posted By: B Ellis Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-16-2011 01:55 PM
Thank you for these posts. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who panics over a sinus infection. Kelley did it all turn out ok?

And thanks Eric for your words of wisdom.
Posted By: HankXavier Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-16-2011 02:40 PM
Can I say without being preachy that I give over my fears to God who immediately exchanges them for peace of mind and heart. I haven't been truly afraid since I heard Him say "trust me" and I obeyed.
Posted By: jonp Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-18-2011 06:56 AM
My bouts of fear/uncertainty are less and less frequent, though are still intense when they take hold. I reckon as time goes on they'll be a rarity.

Your approach seems solid Eric...
...And quoting Yoda - is that an OCF first?
FIrst i've seen anyway.
Awesome.

Posted By: Cheryld Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-18-2011 03:32 PM
Its like a railway train. For the most part I'm feeling great and doing well but every once in a while - something will happen (usually a scan or a check up) then its like a train comes along and mows you down, I think for me its a trust issue. I question everything because frankly I don't want to be caught dropping the ball. I know my drs are good, but I'm not comfortable with my radiologists attitude, and my surgeon, is fantastic, but he's not my primary - they tag team me. ergh!! So I do think eventually it will subside but right now 6 mos out its still too fresh!
Posted By: EricS Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-18-2011 04:49 PM
I did a search Jon, yes it was the first Yoda quote ever used on OCF. I've used it twice on these forums altogether although such wisdom should be in daily affirmations...Just ask Stewart Smalley.

Sorry, I'm a movie and TV buff. smile

Cheryl, I think you're doing an amazing job at coping being 6 months out. In my opinion the emotional healing part of this experience is the most difficult to get through. Our Dr's focus on the physiology of it all and it's the mental game most of us struggle with, which is why this support group is so important. Knowing the people on these forums understand the road I've taken and can relate to my physical and emotional issues post cancer gives me strength daily and for that I'm grateful.

Posted By: klo Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-18-2011 11:10 PM
[quote=EricS] Our Dr's focus on the physiology of it all and it's the mental game most of us struggle with, which is why this support group is so important. [/quote]

You hit the nail on the head Eric

Did the ENT think that the scope down Alex's throat somehow turned his hearing off? Did he not realise the panic he caused even mentioning a "second primary" or "recurrence of the first" in our presence?

Every lump, bump, spot, cough, spit, choke or infection that would otherwise have been completely unnoticed is now reason to "churn" and wonder if this warrants a visit to the doctor, a push for a PET, a biopsy etc etc etc ...

Add to that, Post Traumatic Stress and the depression and irritability that comes with it that needs managing or else it interferes with recovery. And lets not forget the stress and anxiety about having no money because of job loss and the prospect of rejoining the work force with impaired speech, inability to eat and fatigue.

The rose coloured glasses slip a bit on occasion and we Carers are not immune either. Without this forum, those glasses would be broken by now
Posted By: Charm2017 Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-19-2011 01:26 AM
Q. Does the fear/anxiety ever subside
A. Nope. You just learn to deal with it better or else get professional help. (see my thread on psycho-oncology)

Of course, the OCF forum is one of the best ways to deal with it.

Keep the Faith
Charm
Posted By: Cheryld Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-19-2011 02:41 PM
Hey thanks Eric for your kindness and klo! You guys are amazing... Picking my self up this morning and bopping off to yoga! I need some centering and focus! Hugs!!! Have a fantastic weekend... Now if only i could get the train track marks off my back I'd be awesome smile
Posted By: Gary Re: does fear/anxiety ever subside? - 11-21-2011 10:29 PM
Part of the "new normal" of the post cancer adventure is the fear of recurrence. Like others have said it slowly tapers off the longer you survive but it can come roaring back at any time. Whenever I get a sore throat or ear infection I feel the fear come back.
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