I had little growths, the Dr. I went to at the time did not say for sure that's what they were, but he thought thats what they may be. Apperantly, my ex cheated so who knows.....

I also have another appointment with an ENT, my third, hopefully I will be going to a different one than the one I went to the first two times-just to have someone else take a look at it.

The GP I went to said it wasn't thrush. The pain/burning/and numb sensations seem to vary in intensity. I have this for about six months, but the pain moved to the top and side of my tongue after smoking 8 cigerettes over two days. It seemed to happen suddenly over a three day period, and the pain was enough it kept me awake until the early morning. I also have a pain in the back of my kneck and my right eye hurts from time to time.

When this all first began, there seemed to be several contributing factors: I had essentially quit chewing, and was smoking lightly-zero to three a day when my brother came for a visit from Japan with his family.
Having social anxiety, and feeling useless I began smoking and chewing again, I also cleaned out a moldy basement where they would be staying with a mixture of harsh chemicals, I was also eating very poorly-fast food primarily-and I was exercising too much.

After all of that, my mouth just blew up. I think I did have thrush as there was a white yogurty substance in my throat. But I quit chewing and resumed smoking lightly-from none to zero. After not smoking for nine days-all my symtoms went away.

But my mom fell off the roof, and broke her leg, she had a very serious concusion, but would not go to the hospital. She does not listen to me, which is a major source of contention, and she is dangerous. Without her, I would be in a precarious situation in more ways than one. Death me even be preferable. So I started smoking again-the eight cigerettes-and that's when the pain seemed to move to the side and underneath my tongue. The area is a very dark red.

I have not drank since I was 25-about 8 years-and even then, compared to most, I was a light drinker. I was always more of a granola, and exercise addict up until a I was 28.

But i definitely feel as though, i have chewed and smoked enough-a whole lot-to of developed cancer. I just kind of went insane-with frustration, disapointment, and confusion. Being a granola didn't work, so I tried something else.

One way I looked at quitting smoking and chewing that helped me to cut back was: Ever cigerette or chew I took counted, and everyone I didn't, counted as well.

Hopefully this strategy will help someone else stop or cut back.

Ryobi~

Ryobi:

Welcome to OCF. It sounds like you have had your share of ups and downs in life. One good thing you wrote was about not smoking or chewing.

Cancer is a funny thing, some heavy smokers/chewers never get anything and others who never used tobacco end up with cancer.
One thing we say around here is "its not cancer til they say its cancer". Hope when you have the biopsy done it comes back negative.

Tobacco is one of the most, if not the most, addictive substances known to mankind (and of course it's legal) so whatever one finds to break that addiction is great.

I quit the smokes afterat least 50 yrs just about a yr ago. Yes I still reach for them out of a habit but don't touch them.

Talk about habits...I just about gave my friend a heart attack last night when I we went for a drive and when we stopped I reached for his cigarettes openened them he ripped them out of my hands and fitted WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!?? I wasn't planning on having one was just I don't know looking...Anyway learned my lesson lol...

I smoked for eight years and it was more than a year before I stopped patting my shirt pocket to check that my cigs were there!

Sorry to get off topic-

But as of right now, I'm convinced I have it... I looked at a youtube video on OC and...

(I don't know if looking at such videos is productive)


I keep fluctuating-I do-I don't. It seems to come and go with the intensity of the numness and pain I'm experiencing at the moment.

For me personally, I don't know what would have been worse, getting cancer and not being a smoker/chewer/or drinker, or being partially responsible for my circumstances. So manycircumatances in my life I had no control over, like what boyfriend or girldriend my parents were seeing, or school I was going to, but I had some control over this...

Smoking and chewing was my way of being destructive I guess. i had just given up on myself...But I always wanted to get back to that Granola lifestyle. I had essentially quit when all my symtoms appeared. I forgot to mention I also have a swollen node in my Left armpit and right groin, and a spongy sensation in my right chest.

Today, I went and checked the surf...I had so much anxiety even after all I've been through, I wanted a smoke or chew. There's kind of a bunch of bullying going on here in the surfing world, and being that I have social anxiety. I kind of look weak and am a convenient target, and being that I have such low self esteem, and all I've been through being bullyied just rips the soul right out of my body...

I kind of fought back against the bullies. Localism is a big part of surfing, and most of the bullies aren't from here. I remember one of them saying to someone who just moved here, "your not local. you just moved here."

Well it's funny, because my great great grandfather was one of the first homesteaders here and I let them know it. I'm not sure if I did the right thing. It added a lot more stress, and hence, chewing and smoking. But, given my background, I can't stand bullies

Oh well, I'm rambling, I feel kind of emotional, and writing helps, I kind of felt like jumping off a cliff before...LOL

I feel a bit better...it's been an interesting life...if I have cancer I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to survive treatment...

If I don't have cancer...I'm just going to start living my life for other people..get outside of myslef..there just doesn't seem to be any answers to my past-nothing to make sense of- I don't know if there was anything to learn from...

Thanks all...Sorry...

I kind of think I should delete that post

I just feel a bit messed up...

Ryobi~

Ryobi, you're at that transition age where life starts to become "less about me" and more about the rest of the world and how you'll fit into it.
I would hope that you have a doctor check you out--sounds like you have some low grade infection going on (lumps in groin), but a doctor is the one to make that diagnosis. Don't let fear of knowing keep you from making and keeping that appointment. After dealing with some serious pain, I went to the doc and the knowledge gave me power to overcome it, so I can attest that taking action and responsibility for my own health is a good move.
These forums are full of caring people, and people with answers. My advice is to stop looking at causes, and go get answers and make changes for your future so your life and living have purpose and meaning--"getting outside yourself" as you wrote.
One dear friend said to me once, "Aim at nothing, you'll hit it." Get something to aim for--and good health and living a caring, giving life are good targets.
I hope to hear from you after you make that appointment.

Ryobi--I read your post and I have very little time to respond...But, let me add this...you are not a doctor and you cannot diagnose yourself...Stay strong and gather your thoughts. When is your biopsy?