TRT,

I'm a little bit confused. Are you still being treated at the hospital where you had a bad experience? It sounds to me like you need to start taking control of your life. Everyone has feelings that they could do more or be more. And the thing is...you can. You can make changes in your life. 40 is young. You have plenty of time to accomplish what you want in life.

TRT

What do you WANT to accomplish in your life? 40 is no where close to finished cancer or no cancer.

Patty

TRT:

Im sorry you are going thru such an awful time right now. Maybe I missed it, but are you still taking any meds for this? Is the therapist helping?

Yeah, we can all feel upset about being dealth a bad hand with having oral cancer, but that doesnt change it. If I sit around and scrutinize my life I get upset at how things are then I get mad at myself for doing that. Ive been sick for almost 2 years now and still am not back to how I was before, which stinks! These things bother me just like what you have written about.

Being in my 40s, I dont consider myself old yet and you shouldnt either. So many things are waiting out there to do and look forward to. I will try to give you a different perspective, hope I can be helpful to you.

Something that helps me to feel better is helping others. Makes me feel useful and needed, like I have a purpose. Volunteering even once a week might make you feel better. It doesnt have to be anything difficult, maybe just reading books to sick children at the hospital or helping at the retirement home talking to the elderly. Life is a choice. We can let our feelings take over and sit around feeling badly or we can decide to do something about it. By sitting around, nothing will change. We must pick ourselves up and go out and make a difference in our lives.

I understand you are upset with the hospital but Im sure it has helped so many. Its upsetting to read you feeling about how it should be burned down. I dread going back to the hospital myself. But when I see my doctors and nurses and they smile and are happy to see my progress it makes me realize how far Ive come. If you try, Im sure you could think of something positive associated with the hospital.

Maybe you could try not being so hard on yourself. We are all our own worst enemies and critics. Try taking a friend or family member with you to appointments. Do you have any pets? If not have you considered getting one? Pets give unconditional love and are always happy to see you which helps brighten any mood.

Hope I was able to help.

I hope you are being open with your therapist about all this -- Seems to me that you are looking at everything from the most negative perspective possible and letting even the little things (waiting for overseas telephone call, for example) get you down -- I am not a doc, but sounds to me like you should also be taking some anti-depressants to help you get through this -- Again, discuss it with your therapist and your primary or cancer doc.

I personally found great benefit in the modern SSRI class of ADs -- Your body produces seratonin, which makes you feel good and these ADs slow down the process of reabsorbtion of the seratonin so the good moods last longer (SSRI is Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor). The really black, hopeless moods became very few and far between.

Also, if you are feeling bad in terms of physical stuf, like nausea, you should be asking Doc for meds to counter-act that.

Hmm, maybe a visit to Rent-A-Rabbit or Lap Dogs 'R Us would be of some help <g>.

TRT..if I remember earlier in this thread you said you do take anti depressants. Do you think they help at all?

If you are taking ADs and they are not helping, try a different one -- They are not all alike.

I am not at the nightmare hospital anymore. What happened was, I think, the anxiety at the time I posted, was lower and resentment surfaced about all the crap that went wrong including that event about which I am still angry as it was needless suffering and triggered the whole constant anxiety !@#$$; I wish I never heard of that hospital. The abuse I am sure continues there daily; I wish someone would close it.
[quote=suzanne98]TRT,

I'm a little bit confused. Are you still being treated at the hospital where you had a bad experience? It sounds to me like you need to start taking control of your life. Everyone has feelings that they could do more or be more. And the thing is...you can. You can make changes in your life. 40 is young. You have plenty of time to accomplish what you want in life. [/quote]

I have no clue that's part of the problem. I don't have enough energy. The divorce is ongoing. I feel like I did not accomplish anything so far anyway and I am just wasting time waiting for things to happen. I only have enough energy to distract myself from the nightmare.


[quote=Good1]TRT

What do you WANT to accomplish in your life? 40 is no where close to finished cancer or no cancer.

Patty [/quote]

Today I was really tired and took a nap. Unfortunately like this time, I often wake up very anxious which is where I am now.

You are right. I am certainly pissed off that it happened so early.

If I was 70 I am sure I'd feel much better about this. Being 40 and feeling like I have not even achieved anything is harder. I think...

I have been trying to help others; I could probably do more; A friend is very miserable about back pain etc and I wrote and talked to him. On the other hand I have so little time funcio

The hospital I am talking about is USC in los angeles. It's a complete nightmare and there is nothing good about it. It's basically a place where people are experimented upon without medication and by people who are not qualified.

I can't take a friend or a family member as I don't have one who would do that. The current hospital is ok though doctors don't want to see me as they feel my current problems are not cancer related.

Believe ot or not I have several pets and they certainly are fun to be with. If it was not for them and the meds I'd be much worse than this.


[quote=ChristineB]TRT:

Im sorry you are going thru such an awful time right now. Maybe I missed it, but are you still taking any meds for this? Is the therapist helping?

Yeah, we can all feel upset about being dealth a bad hand with having oral cancer, but that doesnt change it. If I sit around and scrutinize my life I get upset at how things are then I get mad at myself for doing that. Ive been sick for almost 2 years now and still am not back to how I was before, which stinks! These things bother me just like what you have written about.

Being in my 40s, I dont consider myself old yet and you shouldnt either. So many things are waiting out there to do and look forward to. I will try to give you a different perspective, hope I can be helpful to you.

Something that helps me to feel better is helping others. Makes me feel useful and needed, like I have a purpose. Volunteering even once a week might make you feel better. It doesnt have to be anything difficult, maybe just reading books to sick children at the hospital or helping at the retirement home talking to the elderly. Life is a choice. We can let our feelings take over and sit around feeling badly or we can decide to do something about it. By sitting around, nothing will change. We must pick ourselves up and go out and make a difference in our lives.

I understand you are upset with the hospital but Im sure it has helped so many. Its upsetting to read you feeling about how it should be burned down. I dread going back to the hospital myself. But when I see my doctors and nurses and they smile and are happy to see my progress it makes me realize how far Ive come. If you try, Im sure you could think of something positive associated with the hospital.

Maybe you could try not being so hard on yourself. We are all our own worst enemies and critics. Try taking a friend or family member with you to appointments. Do you have any pets? If not have you considered getting one? Pets give unconditional love and are always happy to see you which helps brighten any mood.

Hope I was able to help.

[/quote]