Sir,
Sorry for my poor English.
I am an Indian working abroad [in Saudi Arabia] and 26 years of age.
I am from kerala, southern part of India.
I had the habit of using smokeless tobacco[placing the pinch of tobacco product in between lip and teeth] for the last 6 years and stopped recently only.. Now I am having problem with my mouth.Frequently I am having mouth ulcer and also sore inside mouth, and upper lip.This sore last only 4 to 5 days and then heals.
Now I am having a big sore with yellowish small pimple on the inside of the mouth [only starts two days b4]. Now I doubted that this could be oral cancer as I read lot of articles about oral cancer.
Now I am working here as a design engineer and don't want to loose this job. I got this job 10 months b4 and its my dream job.
As U know here in Saudi Arabia treatment is very costly and cant afford.
My plan is to hide this matter from everyone and not even do any treatment over it...I try to extend my life as far as possible without treatment and suicide when things get worse...I always sure that U people oppose this plan...if so suggest me an alternate plan. How can I confirm the illness.Pls write a reply as it may help ones life.
Thanx in advance,
HathirMC

It's great that you have stopped using chewing tobacco.

Oral cancer can have many different appearances and the only way you can find out if you have cancer is to have a biopsy. It's a good sign that your sores go away so quickly. Any sore or ulcer that does not go away in 2 weeks should be checked out.

It is safe to assume that nobody on this forum would agree with your decision to commit suicide if in fact you do have cancer and things get bad. It seems to me that you would be "giving up" your dream job getting treated or dying. I, personally, would choose to live and get another job.

I hope that you decide to get your mouth looked at by a doctor and at least know what is going on in your mouth.


Jerry

There's a fine line between intractable suffering and hopelessness, where an informed decision is made to withold nutrition and some here have done exactly that. Is it suicide? Or is it death with dignity - these persons were terminal anyway - but that's another discussion. I personally would not judge anybody on making that decision.

Jerry makes a good point - if you're dead your "dream" job doesn't mean shit and if is was THAT great why don't they provide medical insurance?

As far as "extending" your own life goes - only God can do that (or whatever entity you believe in.

My dear friends, thank U for your concern..
Let me told U my situation.
Sorry for my poor English.

1)Financial problem

I came from a poor family...and my father spend a lot of money on me during my education. 70 %of his monthly earnings he used to send me every month during those days. Those days I actually started all those bad habits [When I stay away from home for the first time].

After my degree, I try to get a job and remain jobless for 6 months or so.Then I saw the unhappy faces of my family members. They treat me very badly as all those people are expecting me to get a good job and share the burden.

Then I got this job..
I started sending money from here to home.
All those people now living a good life and 50% of my father's debts cleared.
I have an agreement here with my company for a period of 2 years..If I break those agreement I have to pay a certain amount of money.
So I need at least one more year to clear my financial burdens.

2)Social problem (most important one).

My father is a reputed person in my village and all people came to us for an advice to solve their problems.He is the guardian of this entire village.As a son of him I too enjoy the love and affection of those people.If I found smoking or drinking by any of my family members or villagers I will be out of that community.That kind of society I am leaving where smoking is a great crime.

Then how can I reveal my problem to them? I am 100% sure that they will reject me and I will be out of my family.
Same thing happened to one of my relative 4 or 5 years back and no one even sympathies on him including me.
Why should I create such a situation.

Hathir,

Your troubles are complicated. Your culture is vastly different than most of ours and it is difficult to impart advice. Having lived in other countries and understanding the type of culture from which you come I can only say this..

At some point you will have to reconcile yourself with the choices that you have made. If your problem is indeed cancer then you will possibly be forced to make a choice.

The reality is that there are many people who get this disease who never used tobacco of any kind. It is up to you whether you are honest with your family. Since we do not know the circumstances of life in your village it would be hard for us to give you any direct advice on what to do.

What I can do though is to lay out your choices as I see them and then you can consider them. I am certain however, that you have already considered these options.

Before you get too worked up, go to a doctor and find out for sure what your meical issue is.

If it is cancer then you will have to weigh the value of your life against the possibility of never talking to your family again. That is a very tough choice and while most of us here would be far less than understanding if it were to happen here, we must respect the culture from where you come.

Your choices are hard. Maybe even harder than some of us have ever had to make, but the only one who can make those choices is you.

Saudi Arabia has some good medical care. You should start by a visit to a doc there to determine what you are dealing with. Then your next decisions will flow from there.

Be respectful of your family and take responsibility for what you have done, that is important, but don't sever the family chains until you are sure what is wrong. You recognize your error in using the tobacco and have stopped so maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who gets away with it.

There is little more advice we can give you from this point until you have been diagnosed. Please go see a doctor and then let us know what the results are. It isn't until then that you need to make your next step.

All the Best!
Cindy

Hathir,
all of the research I did stated that Saudi Arabia provides free health care:

"Saudi Arabia has committed vast resources (US$16.4 billion in the years 1985 to 1990) to improving medical care for its citizens, with the ultimate goal of providing free medical care for everyone in the kingdom. In 1990 the number of hospitals operated by the government and the private sector together stood at 258, with a capacity of 36,099 beds. Of these hospitals, 163 were run by the Ministry of Health and sixty-four by the private sector. There were also thirty-one teaching hospitals attached to the medical faculties of universities in the kingdom.

King Fahd Medical City outside Riyadh was a US$534 million project. It was to include five hospitals of different specializations, with a capacity of 1,400 beds in addition to outpatient clinics, and was expected to be completed in the early 1990s. To provide personnel for the expanding medical facilities, which in 1992 were staffed largely by foreign physicians, nurses, technicians, and administrators, the government has encouraged medical education in the kingdom and has financed medical training abroad. Four of the kingdom's seven universities offered medical degrees and operated well-equipped hospitals. Saudi universities also had colleges of nursing, pharmacology, and other fields related to the delivery of medical care.

One objective of medical planning was to sponsor cutting-edge research in the kingdom. There were some reported successes. The King Saud University College of Pharmacology developed a drug effective in stabilizing blood sugar in diabetics, and heart surgeons at the Armed Forces Hospital Heart Center in Riyadh performed innovative open-heart surgery on an infant. At the College of Sciences of King Saud University, scientists have used radioactive isotopes to determine the effect of antibiotics on body functions. The King Khalid Eye Specialist Hospital, staffed by foreign doctors, was a world center for the treatment of eye disorders.

Whereas advanced medical research and some of the most sophisticated medical care available anywhere in the world were concentrated in Riyadh and a few major cities, medical care at the most basic level was limited in the countryside. In the early 1990s, a key objective of the Ministry of Health was to facilitate the delivery of primary care to rural areas by establishing primary health-care centers that provided basic services and dispensed medicines. For every four or five primary centers, which numbered 1,668 in 1990, there was to be one diagnostic and maternity center (there were ninety-eight centers in 1990). The large specialist hospitals located in cities were intended as referral hospitals for sophisticated medical treatment such as transplants, cancer treatment, surgery, and complicated diagnoses."

Source: U.S. Library of Congress

My best friend worked in Saudi for several years. As I understand it the free health care is not available to foreign nationals working in the country.

Hathir, You must find out if you have cancer. Only if you have cancer do you have these tough decisions. DO IT NOW AND STOP THE WHAT IF's.

Hathir,
All the previous posts are correct. You need to first find out if you do in fact have cancer. Even if it is positive, it may be confined enouth at this time that it can be taken care of without you having to announce it. If however, you continue to try to ignore it, there is always the chance it will continue to grow and get more involved. Enough kind people have let you know that there may be medical help in that country. Besides, you need to put your own mind at ease and the only way to do that at this point is to know what you are dealing with.
Good Luck.