If you review some of the other posts in this forum, and some of the blogs, you will find that depression after completion of treatment is very common. I have battled it off and on for the past 15 moths. It was worse the first few months, then improved. I can fall back into a funk more easily now than before treatment, and find that my temper is a bit shorter now than before, especially if I am a little short on sleep, which has been happening a lot recently with job craziness.

There is a considerable body of literature out there that talks about cancer patients suffering from a form of PTSD, and I do not doubt that a bit. No shame, and lots of benefit, to getting it assessed and treated if it continues to be an issue. I find that eating better, getting exercise, and getting rest really helps. Now if I could only do all those things regularly . . .

Wendy,

I understand about the meds. I was and am SO TIRED of taking pills. I can't remember the last time a Doc actually took me off of one, because I just stop taking them before a Doc has the chance to weigh in on it. What makes it worse for me is my dry mouth and swallowing problems, which makes it very hard to take pills. I can take the tiny Synthroid pill OK with applesauce, but all others have to be cut up into tiny pieces (and still taken with applesauce or ice cream). I do still take the Synthroid because I definitely noticed the difference in my lack of energy when I ran out of them for a few days.

I also understand very well a reluctance to take antidepressants, because I also refused them at first. I felt that my sadness/depression was justified and I didn't need or want a chemical attitude adjustment - I needed Doc to hurry up and make me better and let me go home! He explained very eloquently - wish I could remember the words for you - why I needed to take them. I do remember that part of what convinced me was that Doc acknowledged and validated my very real reason to be sad/depressed/upset and that anyone in my circumstances would need help to cope with it all. Also that my low mental state was adversely affecting my physical well-being and that raising my spirits would help me to get better and go home. It all made sense to me and I started to take the med then - and it DID help.

So again I suggest the antidepressants for him. It may be that his Doc needs to talk to him about them. As his wife and loved one, it's possible that you are too close - an extension of himself. Raising his spirits will make him feel better both mentally and physically, and certainly therefore make you feel better, too.

I hope this helps and I hope he can be convinced. It's only temporary and it should make a world of difference for both of you.

Lani

Wendy,
The last week of radiation and the following two weeks were very depressing for me. Treatment was finished and I was feeling as though I would never get better. I started climbing out of it about 2.5 weeks post radiation and it improved from then on.

It is a difficult time. You think you should be getting better and you're not. You are also no longer tethered daily to you doctors and the built-in patient support group at the treatment center. He should start to improve soon. Was he doing well mentally during treatment?
Regards,
Rob J

Lani, my RO nurses told me to use Cool Whip -- It lubricates the throat.

Wendy:

Hopefully you and your husband are now doing a little better than last week. I know he just finished tx so its not an easy time right now. It should start to get better very soon. Please post an update when you can. Thinking of you both.

Hi Wendy, one of the "things" I used with my husband that helped his mental attitude was to really "listen to" one something that was bothering him during a particular part of his tx. and then research it on this forum - I would ask questions and then print responses how other people were dealing with the same thing- and then I would leave the printed pages lying out where I knew he would see them, like I had been reading them [ he would not get on the forum either] Sure enough he started reading what I had left laying around and before long he was asking me to ask questions about things he was dealing with. There were many posts and much information that helped both of us durig our journey with this disease and it helped John know that he was not alone. As a caregiver, you will need to use every resource available to you to get the both of you through this. And OCF is gonna help you all the way. Amy in the Ozarks

Amy that is amazing how you got your husband to accept help ..It is eerie how we have to know our partners so well that we can "trick" them into something...

My husband too is depressed but not due to my cancer or cancer in general but health issues of his own. This depression is reflecting on my recovery...I am trying hard not to fall into depression...I can only immagine how difficult it is for a care giver to watch and be effected by depression...

Wendy hang in there and the only advice I have is remember that it is the illness talking most times and not the person... and it is so difficult not to take things personally...Just keep the love going and he will come around...

Hugs
Dianne

Tim is doing quite a bit better these past few days. His neck burns are finally healing, and that's what's been causing him the most grief. He still doesn't have any appetite at all though. Like Zero. And that depresses him somewhat. We both know that we have to be patient for a while longer. He just wants to start feeling "normal" again. But the severe depression has, thankfully, passed!

Like Tim, I really know what it is like to have zero appetite. It has been an unbelievable experience and, post TX, for me lasted nearly two months.

It has just now been two months since my last TX treatment so I still have a poor appetite, but the last couple of weeks my taste has started returning and now my appetite seems to also be slowing improving.

A friend I met at the CCC who is a five weeks ahead of me said it was between the second and third month that his taste and appetite finally started normalizing.

Wendy:

Glad to hear yor husband is doing better. The past couple weeks were there worst he should go thru. Dont be surprised if he still doesnt have a couple bad days here and there, but now it should be mostly easier days. Hang in there, it will get better and better.