My dad has his first appointment w/ an oncologist on Friday the 7th. I want us to cover as many bases as we can at this appt. All we know right now is...he has oral cancer, it has spread to his lymphnodes (left side of neck), and options for treatment are surgery or radiation and chemo.

What other things should we ask this Dr? We need to know staging of the tumors, and also the results from the last CT scans, but I was hoping maybe you could tell me somethings we might not think of, since this is currently new to us. And so far the other Doc's don't seem to volunteer a whole lot of info.

Thank you for any help you all can give.

Tabitha

You may wish to ask the doctor if they are going to perform a P.E.T. scan. It is fairly accurate in finding cancer throughout the body and verifying the presence of where it is Dx'd to be.

Tabitha,

I don't know that I can or know enough to advise you on what questions to ask. I didn't ask much at the beginning myself and I'm very sorry I didn't. I am different now.

Many of the responses to your first post may help. Also, reading the information in the body of the site should start you on a list of questions. Maybe make some notes on things and if the doctor doesn't touch on them ask away. Like a checklist of things you read about on the site.

I will tell you a phrase I found on another message board that I believe is a valuable thing to remember through it all.

"Cancer is a word, not a sentence"

Good luck,
Dinah

Hi Tabitha, I know how you feel! When I went with my husband to his first meeting with his doctor/surgeon - I was too much in a state of shock from the diagnosis that was made during the biospy a few weeks before. I knew I had a ton of questions - but many at the time I couldn't think of until later! Besides the obvious of what type of cancer and the staging of it, you may want to ask the doctor about how your dad's ability to do everyday things will be - radiation treatment in all honesty does quite a number on the body. My husband went through a grueling regime of 2 weeks in-hospital chemo and out-patient radiation, and just had the neck dissection surgery done this past Feb. 6th. He was diagnosed w/stage III squamous cell carcinoma at the base of the tongue. My husband'ds doctor is great though - he never waivered in offering us hope and keeps a positive attititude from every meeting we've had with him. This is important - because I will never let my husband go for treatment with a doctor who has a defeatest attitude and wants to throw in the towel. If your dad has a doctor like this - I would certainly look around for another one if I were you. I believe as long as a person draws breath, there is always hope for tomorrow. Another thing you may want to consider, that I never thought to do before is take along a small tape recorder and ask the doc if you can tape the discussion. Some friends of mine where I work have found this to be a helpful tool when visiting the doc because it's too hard to remember everything later (especially when you are under stress!). If nothing else - bring a notepad to jot some questions and answers down. I think the most fundamental question I had to ask was how was the quality of life going to be for my husband John. This is definitely something you and your family will have to take into consideration before deciding on the best possible course of action. Good luck and you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts on this. I have taken notes and will get them run by the doctor. Also great idea on the tape recorder. If we do not have one to use I will get one for us. tomorrow is the "big day". First appt. with oncologist. My sister is going with my dad. Currently she is the closest. He lives in Michigan, I am in Illinois, my brother is here too but moving to Michigan, and she is in Ohio. It is so hard being away from him right now. But we are all working together so that helps. If it weren't for my kids keeping me sort of grounded right now, I would have left it all to be there. anyway I will post tomorrow after we here back from the appointment.

Going to call sister and suggest tape recorder.

Thanks again, Tabitha

Doctors may be put off by the tape idea, the thoughts of litigation always loom high when someone tires this. I would opt to take a note pad and write everything down. Don't be afraid to ask enough questions until you reach a point where you understand everything completely. In people

Good luck tomorrow Tabitha - tell your dad we're pulling for him and wish him well!! Do keep us posted how things went.