Cancer is a hostile world but the people who visit this site are surely among the most courageous and compassionate people anywhere. I discovered you a few weeks ago after my husband was diagnosed with SCC in the area behind his right molars. You have helped me as we face our uncertain times. Until the surgeon is "in there" he will not know how much of the right lower mandible he will have to take or exactly which method of reconstruction will be used. We also don't know yet whether my husband will need radiation after surgery. My husband's response to all this is predictibly upbeat and quick-witted. When the surgeon told him for the first time that some or all of that jaw would have to go, my husband said "ok, then, where's my Darth Vadar mask?" The surgeon replied "They sell them down the street for $17.95 but they have a special for patients of the hospital." Where do these guys get this from? How do they keep it up? I'm more of a chronic worrier (I worry therefore I am) and have a much harder time focusing on the present and not worrying about the future. I know my husband's way is healthier and will help sustain him, but sometimes I can't get myself into that way of thinking. This is frightening and although we think his prognosis is good (no evidence of lymph node involvement or invasion of distant sites), the immediate future will be so very difficult for him. Immediate worries for me are whether the grafts for the reconstruction will heal properly (he is a somewhat brittle diabetic) and how we will manage when he is home from the hospital, which we have been told could be 2-3 weeks after surgery. I know that many, many of you have walked this road and you will inspire me. I may turn to you on good and bad days and I thank you in advance for being there. --Karen

Hi Karen,

As you know already, you have come to the right place for support and advice. Judging by all of the information that you have provided, you have done your homework very well and this is going to be very helpful in getting your husband through this ordeal.

As you can tell from my signature, I had a much different experience with scc than you husband is having. There will be members along soon, that will certainly pick up this thread that have been down the same road. Contacts are usually less frequent on the weekends, but keep checking back.

I must say that your husband's and the surgeon's attitudes are different than most and that's a good thing. However, the reality is that he is in for some rough times and I hope that he can maintain this attitude throughout his treatment. While being a diabetic does add some additional concerns, there are many in the same situation and it is manageable.

We will be here for both of you during the good and bad days and he might find it helpful if he joins the forum, too. However, during the 3 and a half plus years that I have been a member, it is unusual that both the caregiver and survivior are both on the board.

Where is he being treated? Good luck on the 26th.

Jerry (Formerly from Brooklyn)

Yes, you're right. Their approach WAS a bit weird, but we all laughed and that was good. So is the attitude that says I can lick this - with a smile. Chip is being treated at Sloan Kettering and we are confident about the team. Now all we have to do is to wait, hope for the best and keep up the good spirits. Our latest effort? We decided that just like during the Civil War, we might hire a substitute to fight the war for Chip. Then again, I don't think anyone would accept for any amount of money. Thank you for your reply.

Jerry, I should have added that I have encouraged my husband to explore the site and join the board. However, he is of the "I am a rock, I am an island" school so joining the board would be against his grain. But, we will see, especially as treatment progresses, if he changes his mind. It's a good thought, and I will suggest it again (gently).

Sloan Kettering...top notch. That's great. Probably lots of places to buy a Darth Vadar mask in "The City".

Hope to see Chip on the board.

Jerry

PS My daughter worked for Hughes, Hubbard, Reed in the Battery Park area. Do you know the firm?

Yes, it's an excellent firm. They work very hard. Perhaps that's why your daughter worked there, and I assume no longer does.

Karen- My husband has also been a rock through his ordeal. He never complains and that makes it hard when I know he's feeling badly but won't admit it. My husband had half of his lower right mandible removed and replace with leg bone and tissue. They also used some tissue and skin to reconstruct the floor of his mouth. The surgeons did an amazing job and the grafts took very well. He had his surgery at Columbia and is now being treated at Sloan. Let me know when you will be there.

Sue

Just wanted to give you a warm welcome, Karen.

Hoping your hubby has a fast recovery and that you can stay calm. Try to remember, at this pint there is not much we layman can do so we have to turn it all over to the pros and remember we are in good hands (God's hands, and a good surgeon's hands).

My surgery was different but I can tell you I expected much worse prior to the surgery ... and was pleasantly surprised when I saw it was more manageable than I expected. I am not done yet ... but so far so good - and I wish you all the same.

Blessings
Rita

Did they Stage him yet? Have they told you no radiation or are they waiting to see what they find during the surgery? Hang in there and use this site as much as you need to, even if it's venting.

Thank you all, kind people for your well wishes and your thoughts. My husband is not staged yet. I believe that they are waiting for surgery to see just what's what and whether he will need radiation. Thank you again for the welcome. It is appreciated (although I wish I didn't have a reason to be here).