#77382 07-23-2008 06:01 PM | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | OP "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 | As I posted in a different thread, I have a swelling in my neck which I saw my oncologist surgeon for on Friday. He is going to do a cat scan to see what is up - could be lymph edema. He said he doesn't feel any tumour there but wants the CT.
I thought I was okay - calm - with this - then I started to read some other posts on here about how that part of the neck is a common place for the cancer to come back, about what has happened to others (not good), and I just freaked. Since then I have not been able to get past 30 seconds without that gut wrenching death fear settling in my gut.
I have been through two treatments for his horrid monster and I keep telling myself all the things I know are true - about not letting cancer steal today, about how its not cancer until they say it is, etc, etc, yet nothing is touching that knot in my gut this time.
I don't want it to be back. I don'r want to die. I am scared.
Donna
Donna,69, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV; R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 3rd Oral Cancer surgery 1/22 - Stage 1. 2022 surgery eliminated swallowing and bottom left jaw. Now a “Tubie for Life”.no food envy - Thank God! Surviving isn't easy!!!! .Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL! (Not perfect but definitely WONDERFUL)
| | | | Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 147 Senior Member (100+ posts) | Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 147 | Donna, Your fear is very understandable - but remember to take it a minute at a time - Don't let this thing eat you up - easy for me to say at a time like this, but it really isn't cancer until they say it is and then you still have lots of options. Hang in there, Donna and cling to this board. There are a lot of encouraging people out there...it is my life line to sanity.
Praying for you. Paula
Caregiver to Husband 50 yrs.young-non smoker/non-drinker; Stage IV - all treatments stopped August 2009 Lost the battle November 23, 2010
| | | | Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 57 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | Supporting Member (50+ posts) Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 57 | Donna, I wish that words were able to calm all fears. Panic sets in and you don't know what to think anymore. Take a deep breath and don't let it take over. Like Paula said, "easier said than done" but know that many will pray for you. Be brave and clear your mind: It helps when waiting. Praying for you.
Noemi
Brother diagnosed SCC August 2005, radiation and chemo- 2 rounds, total glossectomy Sept. 2007, passed away May 21, 2008 "Everyday is beautiful" he stated on a cold and foggy Chicago winter day.
| | | | Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 212 Gold Member (200+ posts) | Gold Member (200+ posts) Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 212 | Oh Donna,
I so know what you are feeling. But there are many positive outcomes and your doctor is seeking definition. Always best to have a cautious doctor who is thorough even if it does kick the anxiety up several notches. How soon is your CT scan? Hang in there, sending positive thoughts your way.
Cancer of Tongue, SCC early Stage 1, Dx 3/13/07, partial glossectomy 4/14/07 found no residual carcinoma and a granular cell tumor with pseudo epitheliomatous hyperplasia.
| | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | I still have the lump in my neck and the Dr saw it on the Pet, but I am ignoring it and living as best I can. I will say I didn't get the Pet for that but for a lump on ,my shoulder that gives me great pain straight up that muscle into my neck. It doesn't show Cancer but the Dr saw something in my neck that he thought he would see. LOL He isn't worried and neither am I. I sure pray you are OK and it's just a lump.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April. --- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
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