#76557 07-06-2008 06:59 AM | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 | hello all,
i havent posted in quite a while, it seems like my world has slowed down to just today, and maybe tomorrow, and sometimes just to the hour or so. Dell's cancer has been treated palliatively since february, so far he's gotten 6 rounds of chemo, (cisplat. and taxotere) and he's experiencing exhaustion and some pain (earache from radiation nerve damage).he is able to walk around the house, but sleeps alot as well. he's so stoic, and i am just watching over him, and crying silently, and sometimes just leave the house to have a good cry. i wish i could tell you how i dread the future, how i worry constantly how to give him comfort, and the doctors, who have been wonderful, are amazed how well he's tolerating all this. hospice is still in the future, and i am seeing a therapist for support.
i am grateful to have each day with him, however bad, but this month is tough because we have our wedding anniversary.
i dont know how i will be when he gives up..
i think i'm just writing to hear from someone who's been there.
wife to Del,dx.4/07 BOT SCC t3n3m0 3rounds chemo (5fu,cisplat,taxotere,erbitux)35 IMRT tx.with weekly erbitux.finished 9/07. 12/07 biopsies +,surgery not an option.returned to palliative chemo 2/08. 6 tx.of cisplatin/taxotere,methotrexate 8 tx. He died Aug 20,2008, but lives always in my heart.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | I hope a miracle happens and he confounds all his doc's.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | nycgirl, I haven't been there but I just wanted to say that it sounds like both you and he are doing everything you can, both in terms of taking care of yourself and in therms of taking care of him. It would be presumptuous of me to give any advice since I've not been through this but you are both in my thoughts, I hope you manage to find some amazing moments to enjoy with each other on your anniversary and the battle fades into the background as much as possible for that day.
Nelie
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 | thanks Nellie, sometimes the rollercoaster just gets to me, you know..
love each day,
emma (nycgrl)
wife to Del,dx.4/07 BOT SCC t3n3m0 3rounds chemo (5fu,cisplat,taxotere,erbitux)35 IMRT tx.with weekly erbitux.finished 9/07. 12/07 biopsies +,surgery not an option.returned to palliative chemo 2/08. 6 tx.of cisplatin/taxotere,methotrexate 8 tx. He died Aug 20,2008, but lives always in my heart.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | I must say, it sure is great that Dell has you to look out and after him. I am praying that as david says, I am hoping for a miracle for Dell that will confuse the Drs.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 580 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 580 | ...nycgrl,
I know this journey is a tough one for you. Dell is so fortunate to have you in his corner. If I could I would give you the biggest Hug that you have ever had and silently comfort your tears. There are many of us who would have loved to have you as our caregiver/family member during our journeys. Not everyone has the extra internal strength to be everything during a loved ones journey with OC, let alone look after themself. I am asking for a miracle in my prayers.
We are all praying for Dell and all of you.
Keep your faith and strength.
There are many here who you can lean on.
God Bless.
Mike
Last edited by Dr. Mike; 07-06-2008 06:16 PM. Reason: sp
Dentist since 1995, 12 year Cancer Survivor, Father, Husband, Thankful to so many who supported me on my journey so far, and more than happy to comfort a friend.
Live, Laugh, Love & Learn.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 | Hi emma
i have sent you a pm.
liz
Liz in the UK
Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.
Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 73 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 73 | nycgrl,
I am not sure wheather my advise wld help or not, but if possible live every day to the fullest, am sure its not easy but try , and the best part is u both have each other .
have you seen movie "Bucket List" ??
Happy wedding anniversary in advance, cherish these precious moments, Your husband is really lucky to have a wife like you!
You guys are in my prayers.
- Avinash
My Father,
Age 59, T2N1M0, Stage 3, smoker left 5 years back, casual drinker , NACT with TAXOL +5FU+Cisplatin x 2, and 70 Gy in 35# from 03/10/08 to 04/26/08, no surgery, After Chemo cycles tumor reduced 60%,
Cancer Free now !
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 | thanks cookey, and everyone for your good thoughts..
please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we get pet results this thursday. we are hanging in there, and del had a pretty good day yesterday, i'm grateful.
wife to Del,dx.4/07 BOT SCC t3n3m0 3rounds chemo (5fu,cisplat,taxotere,erbitux)35 IMRT tx.with weekly erbitux.finished 9/07. 12/07 biopsies +,surgery not an option.returned to palliative chemo 2/08. 6 tx.of cisplatin/taxotere,methotrexate 8 tx. He died Aug 20,2008, but lives always in my heart.
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