I probably know the answer to this question in my heart but here goes anyway- when there is metastasis to the lung from the head and neck, is there any chance for long term survival? I can't seem to come to terms with this and it all seems to be a waiting game. Anyone out there who can shed some light on this subject? I know there are no definites. The doctors are not fortune tellers-I get it. I just need to get some help from someone who's been through this whether a patient or a caregiver. Thanks to all, Sue

I say there is always a chance no matter what the statistics or odds are. What do the doctors say to you??? Yes of no??? It is just in one isolated spot right? I dont' know the answer but I sure wish for a cure for your husband.

Mets to the lungs sure aren't good news,but can be treated with chemo,so don't lose hope,he is young and i am sure has a strong will to survive,and that in itself is important.Is he cancer free in the origonal site?

He had more cancer in the original site about 3 months post original surgery. It was found while he was going through chemo and rads. They also found some cancer cells in the shoulder muscle. Liz- how do you cope?

Suemarie
i wish i had an answer for you.I don't know how you cope but it seems you just do
The hospice staff and Robs palliative home care team said i went into nurse mode.I certainly know when i was dealing with everything i certainly felt as if i was doing a job.I almost think my mind detached from my husband on occasions and i did things i was trained to do 30 years ago automatically.

From somewhere you get an inner strength that lasts for about two thirds of the day,and the other third you just disintegrate,wipe your eyes take a deep breath and then start a new day.Take comfort where you can,use the site to yell and cry and kick and scream,but never let him see how much it is hurting you.
The knowledge that he may not beat this thing will be in his mind all the time,and he will worry about you and practical things and that will detract from his ability to fight .

Just remember this sweetie.Make every moment count,lung mets aren't a death sentence they are a new even harder battle to win and if he comes out fighting and surviving we will all be cheering on your side.If things don't go so well ,build your memories and walk by his side.
I don't know what else to say really

my thoughts are with you

love liz

Liz- Thanks so much. I also feel myself detaching at times when medical stuff needs to be done. I have been weepy lately but only when I'm alone-usually in my car. It almost seems like Neil is taking this better than I am. Being positive has never been my strong suit but it may have to become one. I think the sudden way this has all happened is finally hitting me. It's almost like the adrenaline has worn off from the surgeries and initial treatments and now the waiting has begun. I used to be so hopeful until the second biopsy and surgery. Then it just felt like I was punched and all the wind was taken out of me. I just wish for half the strength my husband possesses. I honestly think I love him more now. How ironic. Sue

Hi Sue-
I have mets to the lungs too. I hope I can help you with this answer and not make you feel worse. My doctors have said that its incurable, which means I

Melissa- Thanks for the advice. I actually have been thinking about getting some help. Although I feel like if my husband is "handling" this-I should be able to also. I know that's a stupid way to think of it. The Erbitux is definitely better than the radiation but his fingers tips are split and the rash has begun on his face. He hasn't had solid food since September and has lost alot of weight. He really didn't have it to lose. The doctor told us the other day that he will most likely have several more doses and then do another scan to see if it's working. By then he should be post-surgery enough to get some kind of prothesis to help him eat. Thanks again, Sue

Sue, from the patient's perspective, I wish my husband would go to counseling more often. I'd feel better knowing he was getting help with it.

On the fingertips, Erbitux really dries out all of your skin and the fingertips crack easily. I always wear gloves when washing dishes or doing anything where my hands get wet. At night I put neosporin or vaseline on the cracks and then put band-aids over them. He can also try those cotton moisturizing gloves from the drugstore, covering his hands in thick lotion or vaseline and then sleeping with the gloves on. I've gotten the fingers pretty much under control this way. For the face rash, if it's not too out of control(mostly zits, not open sores), there's a prescription cream called clindomycin that you can ask the Dr for. It doesn't always help but it doesn't hurt either.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for his scan.
Melissa