Rosie, I wonder if you have given consideration to those of us that come here, tolearn and wish we had the rescources to donate to the foundation? Using myself as an instance, let me say this. I am thousands of dollars in Debt to Drs & Hospitals. I can just barely pay my debts and have enugh left to live half a normal life. I am one that could by what they needed and have money to put aside. Those days are gone and my limited income doesn't increase. My income is less than my outgo and It's mighty tough to live month to month and survive. Take some pity on us and if we could, I'm sure most of us would be donating. Just remember we are all under a financial strain that was unplanned.

I hear you Jim! Some of us were already in tight financial circumstance when we became ill. I was just a waitress and single parent--I never received child support, when I was diagnosed. Mostly living month to month, just before diagnosis I started to be able to start a little savings account, since the kids had gone off to college and were out of the house. The diagnosis was financially devastating for me.
That being said, when I am working full time and really back on my feet, OFC will be at the top of the list!

Jim - you just said what I wished I had said and I'm sure many others would like to have said also. When my son was diagnosed, he was out of a job, with no health insurance. I had just recently retired with a small savings which no longer exists. The term "financially devastating" is an understatement especially when there is no health insurance. But "financially devastating" is nothing compared to the thought of losing a child thru something as devastating as cancer. OCF and all the wonderful, compassionate people here helped both my son and me through the most difficult of times and I will be eternally grateful. You can be sure we would be donating if we could. And OCF will be at the top of our list as soon as the financial crisis eases. Rosie - please be patient with us and we'll get there.

Yes, Jim and others, I did think of that.
In fact, here is part of what I posted:

Now, I know some of you simply can't afford it and some may be waiting until payday, and some access the internet at the library or workplace or a friend's house, but for the majority, if you can afford to pay for an internet connection, you can afford $10 to help OCF.

Of course, the bold and underlining wasn't in the original post.

I can say one thing, this internet connectionis my lifeline to the outside world. I don't have the expensive internet either but consider it my way to reach out and not be lonely. As for this site, It's where I am most of the day off and on. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I always say what I think.

Jim,

You didn't hurt my feelings. I just wanted to let you know that I was not castigating all of you who don't donate. I know that not everyone can afford to do so. My frustration was with those who can afford to do so, but choose not to. I have a hard time understanding how anyone can partake of all the information and help that is available on this site and not have a desire to give something back.

I also know that I came on too strong and for that I'm sorry. I know most of you don't know anything about me, since I have not been active on the forum for a long time. For those of you who would like to know a little more about me and why I am so loyal to OCF, perhaps this link will help:

http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/forums/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/62389/fpart/1

You can also click on my username and read any of my old posts. I assure you that you will find I am normally a very caring, compassionate person, who does not make a habit of getting in people's faces about donations or anything else.

Peace,
Rosie

Quite frankly I am surprised that ANYONE has taken offense to Rosie asking people to help OCF. She is not the first to do so, Danny Boy comes to mind, and he and others have done so in an adamant manner. Rosie has only picked up a torch from those who are no longer with us. She said clearly in her post, that she got it that some cannot afford to help. More than that, I can tell you that more than 99% of all the people that ever came to the OCF site for help never left a cent behind. Not all of them are in financial straits, but why support an organization or pay for something that you can get for free? It requires that you care about others (coming behind you on the path or currently in dire straits) less fortunate, and to be honest, most people are only concerned with their own issues. I deal with multimillionaires every month that have never given a cent to charity. It is a sad commentary on the human condition in this country. It is the way it is, it is part of the human nature of some (thankfully not all) and it is part of who we are. But it cerainly isn't always because of people's inability to help.

It is not lost on anyone that this cancer, like any other life altering disease, can ruin a family permanently financially and emotionally. I am surprised that anyone took the time to use their own financial situation to illustrate what is already painfully obvious to too many people in the US, (a country with a broken healthcare system) let alone to those that visit this message board.

Unlike other organizations, OCF charges nothing to get things from us. This board, newsletters when they go out, hours of help from me or others on the phone, and much more are there free to anyone who need help or information. That was always my intention. What OCF is able to accomplish is directly proportional to the income that it has, along with; my willingness and the willingness of other volunteers to work full or part time for OCF for no compensation, the donation of time from the doctors on our board for their efforts, the willingness of some companies to assist us with support of materials or funding, and many smaller things that I will not bother to list here. As demands and needs grow, (and they have every year since we were first formed) so do expenses.

Knowing specific things that need to get done, knowing how to get those things done, and NOT being able to do them because of lack of funding to accomplish objectives that would make a serious difference in the world, is frustrating to say the least. Rosie knows my frustrations from our conversations with each other. That she tried to help me out by asking, LIKE MANY BEFORE HER, that predate many of the new posters here, for people to step up in some small way, is not some kind of attack on anyone, and her expressing her frustration with the poor response to her attempts at helping, do not deserve this reply from any of you.

As long as OCF can continue to offer the things that it does without cost to any of you it will do so. But one day this foundation may cease to be here. Without corporate or private support there is only so long that it will continue. I have given 6 years of my life full time, my money and much more to make this an entity that would make a difference, not only to private individuals, but on a national level as well. I am not stating that looking for any thanks you's or recognition, so please do not comment on that statement. But I want people to realize that I won't always be here, and if the foundation is not financially self sustaining when that time comes, and there is no funding to pay someone to replace me, or to pay for the continual updates to the web site, and the costs associated with the operation of our web efforts like the board and current peer reviewed information that the site contains, to have speakers out in the world of professional and public education, and lobbying those in power to effect change.... it will just go away. It is that simple. And what I spent the last years of my life fighting for will be for naught. That is a situation that leaves me feeling profoundly sad at its possibility.

Personally, given all the people who have asked on these boards for people to dig deep to try and help us out before her, I don't think that she came on in any way that is negative. I certainly do not think that she needs to apologize to anyone for anything. If it were not for people with passion, nothing would ever happen in this world.

Well Rosie, it seems I owe you an apology . I'm not above ever admitting I made a mistake. I apologize for misreading your post. I will double read the posts from now on to save myself the embarrasment of misquoting. Have a good night. Jim

For the record, I would like to make it clear that I find asking for donations in no way offensive. Many times it is the only way that people will know to donate. Guess I was just trying to commiserate with Jim. Just in case I came across as ungrateful in ANY way, I would like to apologize to you Rosie, and to you Brian. You both have the best interest of the website at heart, and clearly have a passion for getting the word out. I am making an effort to pick up the torch and get the word out in my little corner of the world. OC can make us moody, especially while in the midst of treatment.

None of this is necessary. Everyone is dealing with difficult things. It matters not if they are in treatment battles, in emotional pain, suffering a loss, or playing the role of Sisyphus (Goggle it) against what seems an intractable infrastructure and disease. Any of these situations is enough to make even those of us who care about each other deeply chafe against one another occasionally. Enough recriminations and apologies. We all have challenges to deal with. Tomorrow after I am sure the last person involved has signed on and read this thread, I will delete it. It is nothing more than a minor private disagreement between friends and family.