Just so brilliantly put Margaret--you are a star and have been a support to me!
Arizona--my job was advertised as a temp from jAN-july in October when I still had a week to go on my sick note--it gutted me--you are a STAR employer!

Brenda

Hi Mhupe and the srest..thanks for the feedback..
She has an 18 eyar old granddaughter coming in form out of state to drive her to her appts. etc. and basically tend to her needs.

I do not think the young girl knows waht this all entails.

I am hesitant about telling Ellen about this site for a couple of reasons. 1) She does not know I am on it asking information regarding her. 2) I do not know how she would respond to the facts. 3) I do not know if she is in denial right now and not fully facing the facts.

The good news..her PET scans came back clean with no sign of throat cancer having spread anywhere else.

Can anyone tell me how difficult it is to adjust to a feeding tube in the stomach. Will this be a big challenge for her?

I have also told her that she does not need to come to work once she begins chemo and radiation but she tells me that she 'will work half days' until all treatments are finished.

Is it safe to assume she will not be up to this?

Keep the comments coming folks..we're all in this together.

Thanks

Everyone handles it all different , some have worked and some can't. I did not have the Peg , chemo or Rad . But from my experiences of what I have read , everyone is different .

She is lucky to have such a concerned boss. and You could let her know about the site and explain how you were worried and were trying to get more information on this disease and that you found this site and began talking to us and think that it may help her cope with all this. It is a group of people who have faced the same or similar circumstances ..and then she won't feel alone.

I know I had family and friends who wanted to be there, and I let them ...But there was a part of me that still felt alone as they didnt truly understand. and then I found this site and now I know I will NEVER be alone , not with the love and compassion of these people.

Shar

My husband worked half days through his treatment. After treatment he missed some days. His employer was NOT as nice. He was treated very poorly after he was done with treatment. They needed someone more dependable, he would have to call in sick some days. He had over 1500 hours of sick leave accumulated prior to his diagnosis and had 30 years in. To say it devasted him emotionally is an understatement. He still hasn't recovered from it. You are a wonderful employer and caring person. I know that having to go to work helped Bob through his treatment and I am sure it will help Ellen plus the fact she has job security.
Linda

ARIZONA, You are asking some very good questions. And, coming here will help you become better informed. I had a very large tumor in the base of my tongue (too big to safely remove) and was Stage 4.

Chemotherapy tends to sap energy, strength, fluids and the ability to concentrate. Its different with every person, but these symptoms are very common. If she continued to work, even just a couple of hours per week, it might very well help maintain her spirits, give her focus and help keep her motivated. It is surprisingly easy to think about just sitting and doing nothing when the treatments get heavy. There was a period where I couldn't really read. I could see the words, but my short term memory was so impacted that I couldn't remember from one paragraph to the next what I was reading. I also lost feeling in my hands and feet. This made typing and writing pretty challenging (not to mention walking and balancing!!) But those symptoms are short lived. You may need to be pretty patient with her. She may not be completely aware of her limitations.

One of the worst parts of treatment is NOT KNOWING what is really happening. Fear is the mind killer and it makes every symptom much worse. This site could really benefit her. She needs to know what is happening. Cancer is darkness. Knowledge is light. The truth is scary, but not NEARLY so scary as uninformed fear and worry. Grandaughter could benefit too. Don't let that young woman get overwhelmed with this and wind up being your secretary's patient.

What we, here at OCF, have learned about cancer is that fear, hesitancy, reluctance, half measures, being overwhelmed, being too frightened to act - these are the real killers. Cancer can be beaten. Even really bad Stage 4 cancers can be beaten. But only by the active, well informed, assertive and well supported. She is WAY past time for denial. The music has already started and its time to get her a program. You can make a difference for her. We are here to help you, and her, and her grandaughter. Well done to you for being there, but its just starting. Come here often, Tom J

Arizona:
I am responding to these:
A) Can anyone tell me how difficult it is to adjust to a feeding tube in the stomach. Will this be a big challenge for her?

B) I have also told her that she does not need to come to work once she begins chemo and radiation but she tells me that she 'will work half days' until all treatments are finished.

To A. Generally it is not a great deal (simple procedure). I would definitely recommend it, it makes feeding and hydration so much easier if and when (more likely) you need it. Personally I hated the fact that I had one but was relieved that I had it.

B) this can be quite variable. Initially this should be possible, later on there will most likely be a time when it is not feasible at all. There are those who are really lucky... but do not count on it. In my case it was good to be able to do something and take the mind off the "pain" in the neck.

Markus

Arizona, My workplace was wonderful at supporting me through cancer treatment, giving me as much time off as I needed but also setting things up so that I could continue to work as I was able.

Even in the midst of the worst of my treatment I taught an online course for my college--but I have to say I was not a timely grader that semester. If I had to do it again, I would probably choose not to do that as it really wasn't all that fair to the students--my mind was so fuzzy at times from everything. Still at the time I really valued having some identity other than "cancer patient" to worry about once in a while!

If you can set things up so your secretary can contribute if she is able but won't need to do so if she is not able, that would be the ideal. Though easier said than done I know.

Nelie

Dear Arizona, I have begun my treatments and I am very fatigued. My husband has been great and there right by my side every step of the way, he also has a great boss. As everyone will tell you every one reacts differently. I am unable to work due to the surgery and treatments and I also have a great boss that checks on me all the time. My best advise is that both of you agree to take it day by day. This web site has been a blessing to me. You will find great support here. Remember DAY BY DAY.

Take Care
Tammy

Keep reading and keep asking questions...if and when she does 'open up' about her condition, you will be armed with more information than she will ever want to know!

Regarding the placement of a PEG tube...I can honestly state that in Buzz' case, he would have literally wasted away to nothing had he had had it to supplement his oral caloric intake. Even with it, he lost down to a little under 160 lbs and he is 5' 11" tall.

I've told Buzz over and over...the THREE most important points to remember are: hydration, nutrition and pain management...these have been the most important issues we've had to deal with.

Stay with us...we're all in this together!

Lois & Buzz in NC

Just wanted to say my friend Rod was diagnosed in March 04 with stage 4b throat cancer. He had chemo and 37 rad. treatments and now is doing GREAT. Had some depression and trouble with weight gain but now is pretty much his old self!!!