Hello to all,
I'm new to the board in posting only, I've spent many hours here reading and researching. Always found good info and inspiration- thanks so much. Sometimes what I read was overwhelming and frightening but that is oral cancer, isn't it?
My husband has been diagnosed with recurrence of throat(pyriform sinus)cancer with mets to the lungs. This is 2 years after receiving radplat(intra-arterial chemo)and radiation. His treatment now is Erbitux weekly, Taxol/carboplatin every 3 weeks.
In a few weeks he gets a scan to see how the tumors have responded then we go from there.

I feel like I am in denial/la-la-land/zombieworld/ANGRY/and at a loss of energy. I keep saying chin up and do go on pretty well, I think, for the most part of day to day life.

I just need to vent, share and ASK this: How do you deal with hearing there is no cure-- at what point do you push the quality of life vs. treatment issue? We are optimistic, my husband and I keep positive thoughts but it is hard to not think about time limitations. The should-have done this or that differently is beating on me.
We've joined the club and are fighting the fight. Again.
Thanks

Ask me anything you like V been there done that and got the teeshirt unfortunately.

glad you found us and hope we can help.

love liz

Don't focus on the 'should have done' stuff.
Start NOW making a list of what you HAVE done--you'll be amazed at how long, full and important it is--working, bringing up kids, being a spouse, looking after a house, giving support and comfort to other people in times of need--includes small child with scraped knee!--to ringing/visiting parents or even grandparents.
You've both 'done stuff'--take a deep breath and think about it.
Then base 'the way forward' from there.

We're all here for you,

brenda

Always there is things to be done..
Holding a hand.. watching the sun rise..
There is today not started on yet..
So one day at at time.. one decision at a time..
Please now you have started posting please keep us updated..
Sunshine.. love and hugs
Helen

My husband has had a similar recurrance only alot sooner. His first operation was in 9/07. During chemo and rad we found a new lump on neck which was found to be positive. After treatmnt it was scheduled to be removed in 1/08. Right before that they did another pet scan and found a spot in right lung. During 2nd operation they found out that the spot in lung was metastasis of neck cancer. This was all within 3 months. My heart goes out to you-the questions and what ifs are too much sometimes. I just try to remember I can't control everything. sue

I thank you all for sharing. It does help me to read these thoughts. The list of things we have done IS long and full... but I want that list to continue to grow. I want to grow old with my best friend. His attitude is amazing and fearless. I falter sometimes but in private moments because he needs to know I'm ok. Mostly we keep positive thoughts. He has told me that anything that goes wrong at home is now and forever his fault. It's a good deal for me.

Things seem to move at a different pace this time around (recurrence)- it's not the same mad quest for information or near as many questions. (there aren't such good answers to some of them) We know pretty much about the chemo,schedule,side effects, the infusaport was a piece of cake, now we deal with a trach and g-tube. Erbitux is new and the rash isn't pleasant for my husband but we try to think that it means it's working. A dermatologist was able to help.

What we don't know is time- how to spend it, how to plan it. The day to day stuff continues on---Gotta get through chemo. Gotta work full-time(me, not my husband). We had 12 inches of snow a few days ago. I worry too much. Making plans is difficult... I feel stuck and just too dull to make any decisions like planning a trip.

I am inspired by the courage and have much respect for the fights being fought by this board's members- patients and the caregivers, and appreciate being able to RAMBLE. Whew
thanks, Fran