#69144 02-02-2008 12:32 AM | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 24 | Dear friends,
the surgery was not done yesterday. the cancer is too agressive and has disseminated, and the reconstruction would not give him quality of life. so, our options are palliative chemo, which we'll discuss with the team in a couple of days.
I am heartbroken, and i cant tell you how lost i feel, knowing that this wonderful man wont always be at my side. our daughter was with us, and is in shock too. but when we got home and were alone, we've decided to live each day in awareness of each others love, and to the best of our ability live and laugh together as long as we can. my hope is now that we can manage his pain better, and we have some time together.
thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
Emma
wife to Del,dx.4/07 BOT SCC t3n3m0 3rounds chemo (5fu,cisplat,taxotere,erbitux)35 IMRT tx.with weekly erbitux.finished 9/07. 12/07 biopsies +,surgery not an option.returned to palliative chemo 2/08. 6 tx.of cisplatin/taxotere,methotrexate 8 tx. He died Aug 20,2008, but lives always in my heart.
| | | | | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 | I'm so sorry to hear your news Emma--but palliative chemo certainly enhanced my quality of life, to the extent that I am considering some more starting in March!
I agree, pain control is vital--I'm still working on that one!
Your reaction, as a family, to the news and your plans for how to live it now to the full bodes well for your future coping.
Having time together, living, loving and laughing have got to be the most important things and I applaud your decision to do just that!
I shall have you all constantly in my thoughts, Emma and you will continue to receive the best support from this site.
Love, Brenda x
Brenda in UK--Diagnosis 30/5/07--undifferentiated carcinoma in right jawbone and muscles. Stage 4
6/7/07--new diagnosis primary is in lung. Finished 4cycles of palliative carboplatin/gemcitabine
therapy September 07
Now dying to live!
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | I can imagine the feelings you had when the Dr told you what was going on. Like Brenda says,, go for the gold that you have left as a family. You will be in my prayers daily and hoping the pain is limited for all of you. I blabber on but worry too.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Emma,
So sorry for the news and please use this site as often as you can. I wish I had more to offer.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
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