I don't know how to fully express the fondness and caring that I feel for each of you. Your kind words and support have carried me these past few days, and I am so happy to have good news to share.

My dad seems to have turned that dark corner. He is doing so well! The flap that was thought to have died is only superficial, and the reconstructive surgeon said yesterday that he thinks he can correct it under local anesthesia as an outpatient in his office. The trach size was reduced yesterday and he was able to talk some. He wrote that he was afraid that he would never walk again. He is now working up to the six laps around the hall per day that they want from him. I call it his walk for coffee! He wants coffee very much! Dr. said a couple more days! Dad also wrote that not being able to communicate for the first couple of days was horrible.

This situation has been compounded by my step mom, who made two horrific scenes in front of my dad, one she directed at me (not unusual), because I was sharing songs that my dad asked for on my sons ipod. She has always been jealous, though I have never understood why. She has a 26 year history of being more awful than Cinderella's step mom. The second scene she made in front of my dad was directed at an RN who was rated top notch at Cleve Clinic. My dad had to deal with this 2 days post surgery. He now openly says that she is mean, jealous, and a bully. Since her second outburst, Dad has finally laid down the law. My step mom will never again be permitted to exclude me from his life and to bully me and my son. We are beginning to have those heart to heart talks that were denied to us prior to the surgery. It breaks my heart, because I so want to bring calm, peaceful energy to my dad to recover fully. I would never have wanted this to happen while he had to deal with his recovery. But it seems to have made him want to fight back! His fighting spirit is alive and well, a spirit I don't think I've seen so strong from him in 26 years. I have to admit it is a blessed relief for me, I believe he will choose to make changes in 2008 to make his life as happy and peaceful as possible. These changes are long over due. I love my dad with all my heart and soul, and after losing my mom 10 years ago to alcoholism, it renews my spirit to have such hope that he and I can have the kind of relationship I have always wanted to have but was denied with him.

You were all right in so many ways, that the drains and stuff would be taken out, the physical wounds will heal, and that love and heart to heart talks will begin to heal the emotional wounds as well. I am so grateful, and relieved. Now I can turn my attention to my son who will turn 18 on Thursday. I have felt so lost and gloomy not knowing how my dad would do through this. Now I feel I can open the curtains, bring in the light and life again to our home. Thanks again to each one of you who helped me through this darkness. I am forever indebted.


Deb

Deb, I'm so glad you are feeling better---so nice a way to start a New Year!
Love really does conquer all I guess, and hold on to these moments if things get tough again, to remind yourself that there is always light, in some form, at the end of every tunnel.
Brenda

Deb,

This is double good news. May your father soon have a complete recovery and may you continue to enjoy the renewed closeness for many years.

Malka

Deb,

It's sad that you and your dad have to deal with ordinary life problems when so much more is important. Usually in the worst of times the selfish tend to stay in the background so hopefully she will calm down and maybe your dad can finally convince her to grow up. JM2Cs

Deb,

Family conflict and cancer that's too much for anyone. I am glad you and your dad are on a good path and I hope that your stepmom sees the light on how calm and peaceful energy shared between loved ones can be very beneficial.

And, I hope you are able to enjoy your son's 18th birthday!

Ok, David, you are too hip for me...what is JM2Cs?

JM2Cs = Just My Two Cents

I spend way too much time in chat and text messaging....lol

Deb, I'm glad you vented here to the understanding people that come here. We all understand and I'm sure they will give you good advice to follow. I don't envy you for going thru this mess but you seem like a strong person and will come to grips with it soon. You are in my prayers as you Dad is. Just don't blame your Dad for doing it and it will help. You have to sorry for him and love him.

Thanks, PharmGirl. I'll be thinking of Deb and her dad and you and yours. Hope all goes well.

EzJim, hope your appointment this week goes well too.

Margaret,

Thanks for sending that COLD weather down here. I woke up to a bone chilling 43 this am and they say it's supposed to be even COLDER tomorrow. I'm moving further south !!! JM2C's..... now that your hipper.

Hello Deb,
Have been thinking about you...sorry to hear that you were so hurt.
Before I forget--make sure that you research lymphedema. My mom's biggest obstacle through everything has been primarily from her neck dissection. Eileen warned me! I just didn't understand Don't get me wrong, the trach, the dissection itself has cleared up beautifully, as I'm sure your dad's will. I just wish that we had started therapy sooner for my mom.