#62103 11-15-2007 07:46 AM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP  Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Well it happened.. I seem to have lost my beautiful woman over the after affects from this good old OC. I guess I lost interest in sex and passion which I always had. I don't know how she put up with me this long.. Poor girl had courage and strength for quite a few months and stuck with me until now..So take it from me all,, treat your partner with dignity and most of all hug them everyday and let them know you love them. Remember her feelings are real too and respect them. Seems it is too late here,, but don't learn the way I did.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
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#62104 11-15-2007 08:46 AM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | Jim,
Sorry to hear the news. Oddly, though, you will never know why you lost her. Maybe it was too much to deal with, maybe..., maybe..., maybee...
We should always treat our partners with respect and diginity under any circumstances but it sounds good in theory. In the end we are all human and subject to imperfections.
This moment may be our last for whatever reason and you should tell everyone you love that you love them whenever you say goodbye because you never know if you will see them again. It would be comforting to know that the last words you spoke to them were words of kindness and that you told them you loved them.
For all you know, she stayed longer because of what you were going through. The options are unlimited. Be thankful for what you had and focus on getting life back on the track you can live with. You have been through a lot.
Ed
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
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#62105 11-15-2007 09:22 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 | Jim,
Reading on here should tell you it's happened to lots of people.
At the end of the day, if you can cope with cancer, you'll cope with anything.
My thoughts and compassion are with you as you struggle to come to terms with this,
Love Brenda
Brenda in UK--Diagnosis 30/5/07--undifferentiated carcinoma in right jawbone and muscles. Stage 4
6/7/07--new diagnosis primary is in lung. Finished 4cycles of palliative carboplatin/gemcitabine
therapy September 07
Now dying to live!
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#62106 11-15-2007 11:04 AM | Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 446 "OCF Canuck" Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 446 | Jim
I'm sorry to hear that. I know when she first came on this Board, she was frantic with worry...maybe it got to a point where self-preservation kicked in and it was more than she could handle. It happens far too often when fighting cancer.
Ed's right; you will probably never know for sure, and that's O.K. One thing you do know for certain is that you're here today telling us about it; I remember not so very long ago you were going to let it run it's course. Be thankful for the gifts she gave you; if it weren't for her pushing you to get treatment, you may not be here today
Take care, and keep you chin down...it's easier to smell the flowers that way ;^)
Wayne
SCC left mandible TIVN0M0 40% of jaw removed, rebuilt using fibula, titanium and tissue from forearm.June 06. 30 IMRT Aug.-Oct. 06
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#62107 11-15-2007 11:31 AM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 | Hi Jim,
Sorry you are having to go through this at all, especially now.
Since Dad's been diagnosed with cancer we all hug a little tighter and say I love you more often. It should have been what we were doing anyway, this just brought it more into perspective.
I hope you know you have friends here who will help you through this as well.
Joy
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
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#62108 11-15-2007 11:36 AM | Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 | Jim dont despair.I left my husband just when he really needed me most.I stayed away for three weeks ,and i know i have to live with that for the rest of my life.But i do know that if i hadnt,i would NEVER have been able to cope with the worse that was to come.Maybe your lady needs to step back from things and regroup.Dont write you relationship off yet sweetie.
love liz
Liz in the UK
Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.
Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
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#62109 11-15-2007 12:16 PM | Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,116 | Jim, I am sending a big hug your way.....my husband of 22 years decided that he was leaving me on October 13th.....we were definitely headed for a divorce, lawyers in place, etc.....then I told him I had to have a biopsy and he went with me for the results and somehow things are kind of falling back into place....not sure how this helps you..I hope my husband is with me because he truly loves me, I guess we take a lot for granted with our partners.....I hope it works out for you, I really do.....Carol
Diagnosed May 2002 with Stage IV tongue cancer, two lymph nodes positive. Surgery to remove 1/2 tongue, neck dissection, 35 radiation treatments. 11/2007, diagnosed with cancer of soft palate, surgery 12/14/07, jaw split. 3/24/10, cancer on tongue behind flap, need petscan, surgery scheduled 4/16/10
---update passed away 8-27-11---
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#62110 11-15-2007 12:19 PM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Thank you for the replies all. I know I can handle it like everyone else can. I'll probaly miss her for awhile, but I seem to make friends pretty easily and will meet someone someday . I think the 2 of us came from different worlds when we were young. I had a talk with our preacher yesterday, and he told me I will be much better off. I thank you all again and appreciate the words of encouragement..
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
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#62111 11-15-2007 12:20 PM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | She was very good to me during the bad part of the storm and I will be forever grateful to her.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
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#62112 11-16-2007 09:10 AM | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | You sound like a survivor, Jim - you have good friends, a support system and whatever happens I think you are going to be OK.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
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