Sandy,

I've thought long and hard about replying to your post. On one hand, I want to tell you that it is a terrible shame that you are wasting the second chance you have been given. I lost my 29 year old daughter last year and I really want to rant at you and tell you how lucky you are to still be alive and also tell you how stupid you are to be smoking and drinking again. My entire family would give anything to have Heather back, especially her husband and her 7 year old daughter.

On the other hand, even though I watched my daughter go through this hell, I still can't imagine how I would feel if I was the victim instead of the caregiver. I don't know how I would deal with the issues you have to deal with daily. Many, many people have to deal with the dry mouth, but it must be terribly hard to have no bottom teeth, especially if there is little hope that you can get dentures or implants. With all the advances that have been made in medicine, though, there is always hope that you will be able to get something in the future.

I guess what I want to do is yell at you to wake up and be grateful you are still alive and, at the same time, express my sympathy that you have had such a hard time dealing with this terrible disease.

If your finances are in poor shape, maybe you can't, but I think it would do you a world of good to attend the OCF gathering in Las Vegas. I think that meeting other people that have some of the same problems would be therapeutic for you. Hope to see you there.


Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie

Rosie, what a nice post. I'm sorry about your daughter. I realize that I'm lucky to still have my life and reading the many kind messages I've found on this site has given me a feeling of "accept it and get on with your life".

Thank you again.
Sandy

Sandy, I agree that getting cancer is a crap shoot. Unfortunately for you and I, and the rest of us, the dice didn't go our way. I'm also an M. D. Anderson "graduate." Since my treatment ended in November of 2003, not all of my lifestyle choices have been in my best medical interests either. Just remember that alcohol and tobacco have a synergistic relationship in terms of carcenogenisis. I hope that if nothing else, you can find a way to lose the tobacco habit. As a former cigarette smoker, I can say that in all seriousness and sympathy. And now I've said it.

-Brett

Sandy,

I'm glad you thought mine was a "nice post". I don't know if that is how I would term it! I really don't have any right to tell you to shape up, but sometimes my grief just takes hold and I have to let it out. I truly do hope you can get on with your life and I think it would be great if you could join us in Vegas.

I know it must be terribly hard to break a nicotine habit. The rest of my family still smokes and drinks, even though they watched their daughter/sister/wife die from this cancer. The really sad part is that Heather didn't smoke or drink. Sometimes I think they can't find the gumption to quit partly because they feel guilty that they are the ones with the bad habits, but she was the one that suffered.
I wish you well. And I wish you the strength to quit.

Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie

Sandy,
I am one of those who ot this cancer without ever having smoked a cigarette, or drunk excessively. I don't know if I would feel worse if I had. I know I hate it when people say "Oh, but you don't smoke" when they hear that I have oral cancer. What difference does it make how we got it? Most alcoholics and smokers do not get cancer.

If you can accept it and get on with your life, you have won a major battle. Some days will still be better than others. My Feeling today is: OK, I have cancer, how can I best live with it. For me, today, it means doing my best to stay as healthy I can while recovering from radiation, trying not waste my days worrying about recurrence. The worst feeling is that despair when it seems there is nothing I can do that will make a difference. You'll have to decide for yourself what is the best you can do.

Good luck,
Leena

I am not so sure that your statment "Most alcoholics and smokers do not get cancer" is factual.

"The 1982 Surgeon General's Report stated that "Cigarette smoking is the major single cause of cancer mortality in the United States." This statement is as true today as it was in 1982. Because cigarette smoking and tobacco use is an acquired behavior, one that the individual chooses to do, smoking is the most preventable cause of premature death in our society".

"Each year, a staggering 440,000 people die in the US from tobacco use. Nearly 1 of every 5 deaths is related to smoking. Cigarettes kill more Americans than alcohol, car accidents, suicide, AIDS, homicide, and illegal drugs combined.

Cigarette smoking accounts for at least 30% of all cancer deaths. It is a major cause of cancers of the lung, larynx (voice box), oral cavity, pharynx (throat), and esophagus, and is a contributing cause in the development of cancers of the bladder, pancreas, liver, uterine cervix, kidney, stomach, colon and rectum, and some leukemias.

About 87% of lung cancer deaths are caused by smoking. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death among both men and women, and is one of the most difficult cancers to treat."
(Source ACS)
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_2X_Cigarette_Smoking_and_Cancer.asp

As far as alcoholism goes, I have met many in program that have died from it.

Here is a reference source for that subject:

http://www.vh.org/adult/patient/cancercenter/cancertips/drinking.html

also:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/...&list_uids=8339227&dopt=Abstract

In response to the original post - Yes!

Sandy4jo.

I am answering this here in response to this post and your other one I read today. I live my whole day (and night) with a water bottle with a sports top as part of me. I go through about 8 of them a day, 24 OZ each. Of course this makes for plenty of trips to the bathroom. I get up at lest 3-4 times a night to use the head. Doesn

OMG, Brian....maybe that's it. Grieve for the loss and be happy with what's left. I think I'll try to adopt that attitude. I need to "bury" the Sandy that could eat steak and shrimp and, oh the worst of all, cheese burgers. How I miss cheese burgers! My co-workers have all adapted to the new Sandy; now I just need to.
Thank you for your inspiration.

Gary, I hear what you're saying. I guess I just expected lung cancer, not oral cancer. Oh well, so much for expectations. hahah
Sandy

Leena, thank you for your reply. My dad has empasyma (sp?) and stopped smoking over 20 years ago. He has more problems than I do right now. I've never been a "healthy" person. I'm the original couch potato. I, too, feel there's nothing I can do. Whatever happens, happens. Since the surgery and radiation, I don't want to give up any more. I still enjoy my cigs and my brandy. Am I tempting fate? Probably. So be it.
Sandy