Is anyone familiar with what type of outside help is available to help the patient thru this? We're one week post op, atarting rad (& maybe 3 chemos) next week and already I'm overwhelmed. Can't eat or sleep and worried I won't be able to hold it all together. I'm thinking of maybe a nurse to come in a day or 2 a week - is this expensive? Any other suggestions?
Bonnie

Bonnie, first, take a very deep breath. Although the rad, and perhaps chemo, is a HUGE thing in your daughter's life and yours as well, treatment really is a day-at-a-time proposition. You will have a daily scheule, you will get into a rhythm that will make things easier. I would guess that what frightens you right now is the Great Unknown. When treatment begins, it will be easier. And there are no treatments on weekends, which is kind of a time to recharge. As treatment progresses, there will always be someone here to answer specific questions and offer suggestions based on personal experience just like yours.

Of course you can do this! And we are all here to help.

Bonnie, As Joanna has said, take it one day at a time. My first 2 weeks were a non event. After that I seemed to feel worse each day...not evry day, but it didn't get better until 2 weeks after all tx ended. My wife was my caregiver and she proved to be the stronger of the 2 of us. I was the ultimate procrastinator (sp?)always saying it will get better and not listening. I didn't always feel like following docs orders which gets you into trouble real fast.

The next 7 to 10 weeks or so will not be something either of you will enjoy but unfortunately you have to do it. Soon you both will look back and say whew, it's over.

Post your concerns/questions whenever. That's a great benefit of the site. Someone will always share their experience and offer their advice.

Be calm on the outside, your daughter needs that.

Bonnie, Does her Ins. Co[if she has coverage] have a contingency for a Home Health Nurse to come in several times a week? Check on that. You could also try to set up some support from friends and other family to just be there so you can get out for a while. Also, use anyone who offers to help to grocery shop, run errands, do laundry, cook, etc. I can't remember if she is at home with you ? What else are you responsible for in your own life right now? I really had to prioritize when this started for us, and it took me several months to get a handle on things. Dealing with some of the [potential] side effects are scary for us "non-nursing" people, so get your phone #'s in place for Doctors and nurses. Most important things are :charting daily on paper- amounts of food, liquids, pain meds that she takes. Have a daily routine for recording temp and blood pressure, that kind of stuff. A note book will work. Take good notes on how she is feeling during the day/night so you can relay any changes to the appropriate people. Keep a written list of all meds so you know what they are. This is not difficult, but it does take time-thus back to priortizing and being smart about what you can handle and can't handle. Don't be afraid to ask for help! And remember, there are no dumb questions during this battle. Ask here and ask the Docs, nurses, etc. We will respond to you. Take Deep Breaths, Amy

Bonnie,
I am so sorry for what you are having to experience.
As one of the care givers for my Mom we did get exhausted trying to have someone with her at all times. Our struggle was both physical and emotional and my poor Mom has three reoccurrences and finally lost her battle. It was the longest year and half in my life. The one thing I can say is that I have NO regrets. I gave her everything I could and still maintain my own family and full time job.

I won't lie to you and tell you it's easy! It's not. It will but a strain on every relationship you have. Hang in there! Take it one day or even one hour at a time.

Don't be afraid to reach out to people and ask for help.

A call into the insurance company will answer a lot of your questions. Each Insurance policy is different. My Mom was allowed help with skilled Nursing care only. That means that we had to take care of all of her other needs.

Good Luck & my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.