As promised, I will update this thread when I receive any emails from Donna. Her Mom, Rose, as at Penn and has started her brachytherapy.

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7:11 PM

Hello.
Mom was in surgery for 4.5 hrs today. Her implants went well, they put in the trache and she had to have a partial neck dissection--I am happy they did that, kind of a peace of mind, especially since he found 4 hard nodes, which he explained were dead cancer and shouldn't be left there. I asked about her heart, he said that there was never any evidence that her heart was ....stressed--I think that is what he said. As he was speaking to me my heart was banging in my chest. We will be able to see her after she gets out of recovery which should be in about 2 hours.
Thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts today. I don't think I could have made it through all of this without you all of my friends and my family at the OCF. You are forever in my heart, and mom's.
Much love to all. I'm going to ask Jerry to forward this as I can't log on to OCF.

I'll catch you ladies on the island.
Margaret, I will try to call you tonight. My cell died and I don't have a charger with me.
Happiness is all around me.
Peace and Love,
Donna

explained were dead cancer and shouldn't be left there

...someone please tell me what this means...maybe necrosis?

good question. thanks

Thank you Jerry.
Mom had a good night last night. Today she is a little less swollen. Her coloring is a little better. Her RO was in and said he thought she was looking fantastic....I have to be honest and tell you, I was wondering if he was looking at the same person! Speaking of how she's looking....she's getting up today for at least two walks. I'm afraid for when she sees herself. Do you think it would be inappropriate for me to tell her that she should focus on her health, her face will look better soon. That sounds so harsh. I need to talk to her before she sees herself, and I want her to look at it from a positive angle.
Thanks. I'll try to get back on soon.

Laugh and tell her her face hasn't looked so cherfully, healthily chubby in a long time!
Someone said that to me in CA at Easter, having not seen me for 9 months, and before I had a diagnosis on my jaw---it made me laugh, then I explained my fears!
Same sort of principle as when I'm 'down' about my blood counts, the nurses tell me it shows the chemo is active!
Brenda

Well...I said something on the light side....
I couldn't decide what to do....I finally went with my heart. I told mom I thought I should explain to her what she looks like prior to her seeing herself. She looks awful but I didn't say so. Instead I said that where all the catheters are gathered together kind of resembles a small whisk that has been jammed halfway up into her chin. I told her that her neck dissection looks bitchin! She looks like one of those freaky kids at the mall that do a lot of body piercings. It runs from ear halfway across her neck and it's shiny....Casey(my golden retriever who loves jewelry) will go nuts! Her NG tube is yellow and is stitched into her nose hanging down her face. Her neck has a white band wrapped around it with a gaping hole in the middle. Well, she didn't look happy. I told her to (with a smile) 'suck it up'. I explained that the docs think she looks fantastic and great...can't help wondering if they took a special class in school that taught them to be able to speak like that.
She looked at me and tried to smile. She covered her trache and said, "I love you."
She probably won't remember our discussion in an hour. Honestly---it does look like a whisk! very upsetting.

Donna,

You are such a jewel and your mother is fortunate you are there. I can feel your pain as you are describing looking at her. I know it must hurt and I am really sorry both of you are having to endure this.

Wishing you only the best.

Ed

Thank you Ed.

Today has been an upsetting day. She's just having a bad day all around...here come to find out that she forgot she had surgery on Monday! I imagine it's the morphine???
Not only is she incredibly uncomfortable, the nurses are extremely uptight today. Not at us...the halls are quiet, they are not as chatty as usual. Kind of makes me wonder which boss is in? And why can't that boss go back home? I also think one of the girls was fired today. I really wish that the patients and families didn't have to feel their burn--if you understand what I mean.
My father and sister are coming tonight. They are staying over. Vicki will stay in the room, dad will come back to the hotel. I can't wait to "go home" tonight. It's been a long, dreary day.
Hope everyone is well.
Donna

Donna

Morphine does play with our minds ... I am glad however to hear that so far things have gone well for mom . It is to bad that things are going "down" at the Hospital and you and the other pts have to deal with the effects of it. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day !!!! Just know that you are all in my thoughts and have been for a while , even though I havent been around much I have been thinkin about you !

Shar

Hi Shar!
I've been worrying about you...was so relieved when I saw that you had posted somewhere the other day.
Today everyone (staff) here seems much better, more like themselves. Mom is disappointed to be leaving them, as they understand her needs and she can kind of do like a sign language with them. Not to mention, she really likes them all, and you can tell the feeling is reciprocrated (spelling?).
She is going to another wing in a little while, she'll be stuck in a room for 3.5 days. ALONE. She can do it. She can clear herself, clean her trach, swipe her lines, feed herself. She just doesn't realize it yet. I always think of Winnie the Pooh, somewhere along the way he says something like, you are stronger than you think you are, braver than you think, and wiser. The strangest things I remember.....
Today will be the first day I've been home since Monday early am. I haven't seen my younger daughter since then. My older daughter came down the other night-she really lifted mom's spirits.
Why is it that I feel so damm guilty leaving my mom? She keeps asking us to stay at the hotel where I have been staying but it's not really warranted. I don't want to lie to her, but maybe to calm her down I will. Afterall, when she is through all of this, I can tell ehr otherwise. Or maybe never....is it really that important?
Shar-
a while ago you offered to send out a copy of your presentation, is that still available? I really wanted to ask you for it, but so much was happening.
Here comes her doctor...I hope I don't cry!!
Love to all,
Donna