i have just had my third tongue excision for scc of the tongue. i had radiation 6weeks last summer. i was initially diagnosed march 2006. i was really very fortunate. i had pain and numbness in my tongue and lower lip for at least 6m before i saw the ent. he is a friend-i'm a nurse practitioner and his office is just below mine-i went down at lunch one day and said "look at this" he biopsied it the next day and did the excision 3days later. unfortunatly the margins weren't clear and he had to then remove a much larger piece of my tongue--i was able to return to work within 10days and worked through the summer getting radiation treatments at 7am. i took a lot of non narcotic pain relievers at work with copious amounts of viscous lidocaine. i got used to saying to my patients to excuse my speech--that i'd had a recent dental procedure and still had the effects of novacaine. but at 5pm i started morphine- it was the only thing which would help- to get me through the night. a few weeks after the radiation was over i quit the morphine because i was feeling so depressed and afraid and unable to cope with life. my outlook improved significantly when i got off the narcs. i had received so much prayer and encouragement--and had had a clean ct and pet...i thought i was healed! i even skipped several of my monthly check ups. After this latest excision--with a clean margin-i got by with percocet for less than a week. but the surgery was 5/31 and i can not get my spirits up. i only see this future filled with loss. and i have received notice that my org will no longer be using the nurse practitioner model for primary care and that my time (and therefore med insurance) is limited--
i am so grateful to have found this site. i have never even looked at on line support type places before.
you all sound so brave and knowledgable about your cancers and treatments. i will be seeing an oncologist this week for reeval and second opinion re options. i will be reading everything on this site. god bless all of you. i apologise for being such a whiner. at work i have to always seem on top of everything and all my attention is focused on the patients.
but on the inside i'm really weak! mary ann

Mary Ann, what a journey you have been on this last year! It is ok to feel weak at some points, we all are only human. It does take so much strength, stamina, and hope, to beat this dreaded disease. Just want you to know we are all here for you. Take care, and know I'm praying that all goes well with you. I'm sure you will find the inner strength that you need to endure. Keep us updated. Linda

Mary Ann,

There are so many that succumb to this cancer and you're not one of them so think positive and remain as strong as you have been. You say your weak on the inside but I doubt that. Anyone that has been through what you have is not weak, period. You have demonstrated extreme courage and that doesn't come from weakness. You are intelligent and on top of your illness so use all of these traits to your advantage.

Now look yourself in the mirror and say I can handle anything you throw at me. You won't defeat me so get the hell out of my body!!

Mary Ann,

I second what David said above. You are an amazing lady. Your ability to work full time the entire time you had the rad treatments blows me away. Our doctors told me that more than likely fatigue from the radiation will impact my husband's ability to work within the first couple weeks.

It seems like life is throwing an awful lot of curve balls at you at one time. Keep posting so we can keep praying for you.

Margaret

Mary Ann


I think you are far stronger then you give yourself credit for ..that said even the strongest have weak moments ....You have been through so much so it is normal and you truley are an amazing woman to have worked through it all ..You have come to the right place for information and support !! Have you checked into other Ins opts ? Alot of states offer low cost health care and then there is always medicaid . Keep us posted as we are thinking of you !

Shar