Hello Everyone....

Thank You again for all your support!

It was a rough 7 days in the hospital. It is truly unbelievable what the body can endure. And until you go through it, is beyond the scope of ones normal imagination.

I have had 5 major surgeries before this. The worst was one of my motorcycle accidents, even though confined to the tibia, fibula and the talus being crushed between a car and a motorcycle. It would not "set", and needed surgical repair. I had to wait 10 days for surgery (swelling) therefore requiring the braking of the bones as they had started healing, and installing all the new hardware.
Upon awakening to a pain scale of 15, and screaming at the top of my lungs, this was by far the most painful of all.

So I thought this surgery would not be that bad. But when the operation involves the inside your mouth and neck, the psychological level goes up upon awakening. It was not the pain level. This was managed well. For Me, it was the communication and confinement that was the worst. Many here said it would be tough, and I thought I was mentally and physically prepared. The pain was an issue, but it was handled. It was the mental part.

If not for this forum I would have freaked out. Because you did tell me exactly what would happen. I did not "listen" to exactly what you said would happen. BUT I WAS TOLD BEFOREHAND! Somewhere I heard all your voices in unison, one step and sometimes one moment at a time. And you got me through as promised, in that deep and oh so dark time of need and helplessness.

Many topics and people went through my mind and I became them. I was the normal, nasty, noncompliant, meanest SOB you wanted to ever meet. I swore at the nurses and caregivers. I said many, many nasty things. My own wife, mother and daughter "walked out" on me on their last ICU visit which was Monday. I cussed out and hung up the phone on my sister. Why do I always hurt the ones I love? I would not eat the last 1 1/2 days. I cried myself to sleep on many nights. But I still thanked God and prayed for our troops every morning and every night. I can not imagine what a soldier in combat goes through. Unless you have been there, one can only imagine. I'm getting tired now. I need to take my medicines. My Uncle Jim and Aunt Arlene from PA. Have been lurking in the background here and sent me a beautiful card at the hospital. Thank You for your thoughts and prayers. I Love You!

Thank You All for holding my hand. Signed: "A Perfect Weenie"

Petey,

You made it home. You made it to the "Currently In Treatment" forum.

Congratulations. I knew you could do it.

Jerry

A big fat smile and tears as well are all over my face. 1. I can't believe you are posting so soon! 2.I am so glad you found this site and have this in your life (I only wish my dad did)3. You are so right about the mental thing- Like you, my dad was the golden glove boxer, motor cycle crashing, crazy vietnam vet-you might have been separated at birth- pain is no issue(well until recently but you get my drift) BUT NOTHING could have prepared him for what you just described. The confinement, loss of communication, the anxiety of being so fustrated. He to pissed off everybody, and was a big weinnie, but we got over it. He even tried to make a run for it the first night out of surgery, yanking off IVs, the whole coming out of recovery thing.4. YOU DID IT!!!!! YOU ARE STILL HERE!!!! YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU AND WE SUPPORT YOU!!! GET WELL SOON WE ALL MISSED YOU! Talk to you soon. Your buddy Karen.

Bravo, Petey! What a trooper you are! And I am soso glad to hear that you weren't any better at this than the rest of us. You are gonna do fine. Now, don't you go away again. We miss you when we don't have our "Petey fix." Seriously, write when you feel like it, and only then. We'll understand. We'll walk with you now, and we know that you'll be right beside us when it is our turn. I noticed that before you wrote your own post, you responded to Bhavna in her grief. What a prince you are! And even so....you are allowed to be grouchy sometimes just like the rest of us.

Oh Petey how very glad i am that you are home safe and well,and now i have seen your picture on the video it is even nicer to know what you look like ( shades if my Easy Rider hero Peter Fonda) so as i write this i have your face in my minds eye.I have thought about you every day this week and wondered if you would be a saint or a right royal pain in the bum in the hospital,but i guess i always knew the answer to that so once again Way to Go Petey ,you give em hell.

Much love Liz in the UK

Sooooo Petey did they get any of your tantrums on film? That could have boosted the TV's ratings and maybe you could have gotten a reality show out of it!! Something like "So You Think You Can't Get Cancer". Now that would increase awareness. Recover quickly and start apologizing.

Petey, Petey, soooo wonderful to read your post! I will bet you were a total trip in the hospital.....So glad you are back home and writing again......God Bless, Carol

I sent out this E-mail to a few people yesterday.

Hello all!
Just a quick note. Home from surgery. Hurting and weak but OK. I want to do a "Drive By" at the Winn-Dixie in an hour when Melanie gets back with my RX's. She will stop in front and I will jump out and weigh myself on the scale right inside the door, and jump right back in the car. Too bad it's not holloween! No shirt, no shoes, just Petey!

Petey scores it 2# for Surgeon 15# to Hospital

Went in at 180#. My new-weight guess is 163#. Will let you know!

Thank You All for Your Prayers! Love, Petey

I got a few "lookers" yesterday, but all went as planned, wearing only a Miami Dolphins pair of shorts, I was driven to Winn-Dixie Supermarket by my wife and stopped at front door. Took a total of about 2 minutes, wheels stop to wheels go. I weighed in at 158 1/2# So I lost 21 1/2# in 7 days. The body will ATROPHY very quickly! 3# a day for me. Total by mouth food intake less than 64 oz. in 7 days. South Beach Diet? What a waste of money! How about "Petey's Palm Beach Diet" ( EXCLUSIVELY FOR THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD TO LOSE A FEW)

Petey what a sight that must have been! You are too funny! Congratulations on being home and getting through the surgery, even if you did have a few tantrums. It's not easy, not being able to communicate, or eat, or even breath very well - it's hard to know how tough it is unless you've been through it too... Hope you keep feeling better.

Petey,

Glad to hear all is going well. I also had a battle with a nurse in recovery. I guess it's part of that feisty personality that prepares us "survivors" for the battle ahead. If you're not prepared for a fight, "don't bother applying here". The other good news is that the health care system can't leave you behind again. Hang in for the tough psychological moments. We'll all be here to help talk you thru them. All my best.
Rob

Hi Petey,
Glad you are home and on the road to recovery. Hope it is a speedy one.

Take care,
Eileen

Pete, glad to hear you are up and around. I wondered how long it would take you to start stirring things up. Keep the "Petey" attitude going and I am pretty sure things will turn out good.

I think anyone who has endured what you have gone thru for the past several days DESERVES to be crabby. Your loved ones will understand. Now it's time to head for the open door and get out of the hallway!

Welcome back, Pal. Glad you made it O.K.
We knew you could do it, now YOU know you can do it.

Isn't this a LOT better than the alternative??
Take care, write when you're not grouchy ;^)
Wayne

Petey,
you should be ashamed of yourself for abusing your nurses and doctors. They didn't have to treat you at all. Besides that they didn't give you cancer either.

An "attitude of gratitude" is what AA teaches. I hope that you are adding this to your 4th and 5th steps of people and institutions that you are going to make amends too.

I suspect that you "hurt the ones you love" because you really aren't in the program yet. Talk to your sponsor.

We all have difficulty getting through treatment and it's aftermath. I am still making amends to my wife - 4+ years later, but I never abused the dedicated people who were trying to save my life.

Petey, I undertand how hard this surgery was but I have to say that, like Gary, I was thinking of how wrong it was to take it out on your caregivers who have stood by you and nurses at a hospital that is treating you when you have no insurance. I'm very happy you are finally on your way to being cancer free and I hope you can manage to continue down that road without being too hard on those around you. Nothing wrong with being grumpy and pissed off at the situation you're in--just don't make others who aren't to blame suffer for it!

Hang in there, Nelie

Hey Gary. You are a funny man!
The caregivers would kick it off with a rude comment but I still always said thank you when they left. And I never said Doctors.
Just because the torturer isn't charging does not mean you have to be on your best behavior. Rudeness begets rudeness. Have you ever picked up a hurt animal out of the street to help it, only to have it attack you? I did twice. And they were my dogs who loved me unconditionally.

When I got out of ICU my roommate was a friend of Bill's. (Overheard his company) And I told him that I was now at step 1 again, because I had regressed to that point. And I did call my sponsor and did 2 & 3. Also you will see that I wrote that I still thanked God every morning and every night thru my pain.
I spent 2 tearful hours buying Thank You cards today. $43.00 is a lot of cards. One for each and every caregiver, nurse, station desk, doctor, reporter, hospital, business persons and cameraman. I kept a list from day 1.
My wife put a copy of "Living Sober" in my suitcase, which I never opened until the day I left.
Did I do good honey? Your reply sounded like it was written by Nurse Ratched in the movie "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest". LOL
I got to go because "IT'S MEDICATION TIME, MEDICATION TIME"! LOL

Petey,
I'll think about you while I'm taking my meds tonight (to the strains of Montovani's "Charmaine" [the music they played during medication time in the Cuckoo's Nest"]).
Call me "honey" again and I'll ban you forever ;-)

PS The last injured animal I saw - I shot.

In any case I'm glad that you made it though it - is there radiation in your future as well?

"Simply Marvelous" !

Hey Petey! So-o-o-o glad you made it thru surgery. I'm sure you made quite an impression on everyone at the hospital! Be really extra sweet to your wife and those close to you, now. It could come in handy in the days ahead. Keep up the good fight!

PETEY B
It's time to move on to the next step which is your FUTURE LIFE!!

Thank all of the wonderful people who took time from there own nightmires to pray for you,
and be your friend without prejudice for your reactions to your situations. (A REAL FRIEND!)
Love your immediate family, for they do not know how to react appropriately because they are so full of grief for your plight.
Be the sunlight of everyday that God has given you
and be kind to all and patient with your family and friends. Live life to the fullest each day and love your wife who grieves for you alone in the darkness.
You were always so loving. Come back.

Dang it! I just wrote an update (20 minutes) and lost it when I posted it. I hate when that happens. Now I will always write in a word document first, then copy and paste. I hate when I spend all that times and it "gets lost". I will update later. I'm going back to bed!

WA WA WA WA WA , BIG BABY, LOST YOUR POST, WA WA WA.....

Just a quick update

It's exactly 2 weeks from surgery & 1 week out of hospital. I have been feeling better each day.

Tongue feels a little swollen but does not look it. I have hardly any pain and good movement. Practicing my speech therapy words two, no, go, key, laryngeal elevation eeee high pitch and then eeee low pitch. Everyone says I'm speaking clearly, but it sounds "to me" a little off.

My neck hurts a little from ear to ear dissection and I have good movement but my left ear is numb. Very little swelling. I go to MO for check-up Monday 6-4-07. I will then set up an appointment with my RO. Only mask fitting and getting zapped and take this for pain has been discussed. I have many questions for him.

I felt like eating yesterday but I have no teeth. My swallowing is good and tongue movement is good and not much pain now. The cancer did not get to the jaw bone thankfully. So they took 1/2 the tongue front to back. I have bottom dentures but they pulled my 4 teeth for my top plate so I need that, but they say to wait until radiation TX. as my jaw & gums might shrink.

I do have questions about what to do to save my saliva glands. Is there anything other than amofostine that I can take for xerostomia?

I hate to say I feel lucky as I have been through so much, but some of the posts I have been reading are overwhelming. I try to encourage when I can but some of them I can not find the right words or just ...no words....

Petey with no words....theres a thought!!!you do yourself an injustice Pete your words are always a tonic.

PeteyB,

Glad to know you made it through OK.

Sometimes there are no words, just a loving understanding.

Take care,
Diane

Goodmorning!

I'm feeling better every day, little by little. I will attempt shaving for the first time. A scary job as I must shave on my neck dissection scar. I have gained back 10 of the 21# I lost in the hospital.

I get this "todays word with Joel & Victoria E-mailed to me daily.

I felt compelled to share this one with you. I watch Joel Osteen every Sunday morning. His is the only religious program I truly enjoy and he does not sell Prayer Cloths and Holy Water. Here is his link also:

www.joelosteen.com

Fight the Good Fight
Today's Scripture

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our inner strength in the Lord is growing every day.

Hello Everyone

The Tv crew just left my house. I will be on the 11:00 (EST) news. So it should be on a vidio on their website by midnight (EST) It will stay on the website for 24 hours.

www.wptv.com

He promissed that my mentioning the OCF and the www.oralcancer.org would be televised.

That made me feel good as this was very important to me that people new where to come for advise. And I also said again about checking anything in your mouth that stays for more than 2 weeks.

I recieved my official "Pathology Report and Pathologic Diagnosis". I will post on that later.

Wishing You All The Best. Petey