#4178 10-27-2004 02:15 AM | Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 217 Platinum Member (200+ posts) |  Platinum Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 217 | Dear Christy,
What a wonderful gift you gave your Grandma - and, in turn, what a wonderful legacy she gave you. Loving bonds between family are true gifts from God, and I hope you realize the blessings He has bestowed on you and your family.
It has been so many years since my grandmother passed, but I remember her in my prayers daily - especially those prayers of thanks for the father she gave me.
Love to you - and I wish you courage during this difficult time.
Nicki
Nicki, wife of Thomas
dx July 2004, SCC, Stage 4 Tonsil. Tx begun 8/4/04. Cisplatin/Xeloda x 4; IMRT 7 wks, 8/7 - 10/25/04 Modified Radical Dissection (right), Selective Dissection (Left) 12/10/04.
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#4179 10-27-2004 04:22 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 | Dear Christy
I just wanted to add my condolences..I know your heart is breaking right now. You know you will never have to say "I wish I had or I should have done" you were there for your Grandma and you will be there for your mom. What a special girl you are.
We are so sorry for your loss.
Marica
Caregiver to husband Pete, Dx 4/03 SCC Base of Tongue Stage IV. Chemo /Rad no surgery. Treatment finished 8/03. Doing great!
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#4180 10-27-2004 05:39 AM | Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 22 Member | | Member
Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 22 | Hello Christy,
I am so sorry for your loss. Just remember you are one hell of a grand-daughter and I bet grandma's telling someone that right now.
Love and prayers to you
Karen | | |
#4181 10-27-2004 05:54 AM | Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 80 Likes: 1 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 80 Likes: 1 | Christy
You and your family are in my prayers, but try to always remember the good times w/your grandmother.When you think about the bad, you have to know you did the best you could for her,and you were there for her. I hope God will bless you with this knowledge.
JOAN
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#4182 10-26-2004 04:32 PM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 | Dear Christy
You and your Grandma are in my heart. I am so sorry that you will lose her soon - you obviously have a very special bond which will last forever.
With love from Helen
RHTonsil SCC Stage IV tx completed May 03
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#4183 10-26-2004 04:51 PM | Joined: May 2004 Posts: 137 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: May 2004 Posts: 137 | Dear Christy, Thou I know you have a heavy heart and there is nothing worse in this life than to watch a love one slip away right before your eyes, please remember this, you have learned so so much from this. You and your Grandma got to spend her final days together. You got the chance to tell her all the things you wanted to say. You got to hold her hand, kiss her cheek, hug her neck. Some do not get this time. I say what a crying shame they don't. Tho it is tearing you apart, and you have no idea how in this world you will ever make it thru this, the day will come that you will be so thankful that you had this time. Right now you cannot see past the pain, the hurt, the loss or the sight of it all. One day these memories will not cause you to cry. They will not cause you pain. They will make you proud that you were there and that you had the honor of being there to help her make her journey into heaven. This are the memories that make us into wonderful human beings. These are the memories that will keep your Grandmother alive in your heart...You were blessed to be a part of all this, Christy, one day you will be able to see past the pain and the hurt and know in your heart that you were there for her and as she was always there for you. I know this because I too have been thru this, when I lost my MOMA. Lord will a heavy heart, Christy, I am thinking of you and your family. WE ALL ARE. Always Miss Vicki | | |
#4184 10-26-2004 05:11 PM | Joined: Oct 2002 Posts: 546 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2002 Posts: 546 | Christy,
I am so very sorry you and your Grandma have to go through this. You are right to seek help afterwards. I never joined a grief support group or took anti-depressants after Heather died, but I should have. I have been functioning for the past year, but that is about all. I realized I need to get back to living and recently started on an anti-depressant. It is good that you are willing to seek help.
Miss Vickie,
What a beautiful post. You have expressed it so perfectly, I have nothing to add.
Take care of yourself Christy.
With love,
Rosie
Was primary caregiver to my daughter Heather who had stage IV base of tongue SCC w/ primary recurrence. Original diagnosis August 21st, 2002. Primary recurrence March 18th, 2003. Died October 6th, 2003.
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#4185 10-26-2004 05:35 PM | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 372 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 372 | Christy,
My prayers are with you and your grandma. My grandma died about 8 years ago, and it was just days after getting really sick and into the hospital. I was there to hold her hand and talk to her even though she was in a coma. She did squeeze my hand when I asked her to if she could hear me. It was so hard, but I was so glad that I could be there and be with her some. You will cherish these memories as hard as they are now.
Take care and God bless,
Debbie
Debbie - Caregiver for husband, Dan, diagnosed with tongue cancer 7/03. Partial gloss., mod. neck dissections, graft. Recurrence neck tumor 12/03. Radical left neck dissection 12/24/03-unable to get all the tumor. 8 weeks chemo/rad beginning 1/12/04.
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#4186 10-26-2004 07:53 PM | Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 45 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 45 | Hi again Everyone,
Sorry to have to write back so soon. After I posted this I was getting ready to go up to the hospital again. I had just came home to feed the family and clean up. I got a strange feeling and phoned my Auntie (she was with my Grandma and had a cell phone available). My Auntie didn't answer the phone so I left a voice mail. Within a minute my Mom phoned me back from my Auntie's phone. My Grandma had just passed away.....the very second I phoned (9:58 pm). I have cried a river I am sure, but some how, I feel some relief that the pain has finally stopped. She is probably with my Grandpa now.....and she probably even got him to Bingo (he hated that game). I am sure he would love to join her now.....:-)) It has been 20 years they have been apart. It has been the longest 3 months of my life, but I was glad I was with my Grandma every day. Before I left tonight I put my cheek against hers and told her I would be back later. I told her she was the best Grandma that anyway could ever have and I loved her so very much. She was so drugged up and couldn't move, but she still managed to press her cheek against mine. I will hold that in my heart forever. I am a little sad I didn't make it up there to be with her until the very end.....I hope I can get over that one day, but I know I did the most I could, and I hope she is proud of me for it.....:-))
Hugs and Kisses,
Christy | | |
#4187 10-26-2004 11:20 PM | Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 146 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 146 | Dear Christy,
God bless you and your grandma. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss but please know your grandma is a better place now - a place where there is no pain or suffering. You've been the pillar of strength and love and for that I know your grandma truly appreciated all you did and have done for her. Please cherish all the good times and memories you had made together for these will last a life time. I know it's hard to lose someone you love as I've experienced this just a year ago. Please know I'm praying for you and your family. God bless you - you are truly an angel.
Lots of hugs, Nancy
Stage IV oral cancer (tongue), T3N2, total glossectomy with right and left modified neck dissection 7/03, rad /chemo ended 11/03
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