Hello. I went with Mom to her chemo. docs yesterday. The chemo. doc. really didn't want to do Erbitux becuase he said that it only increases life by 2 months. And she could have serious side effects. He was talking about guality of life not quanity. Is there anyting else we can try??

Dear HH, Please be aware that I am answering you as a caregiver to my husband-not a medical professional. My husband started on Erbitux in July after Carboplatin\Taxol failed to control his cancer. The Erbitux has not only controled the tumors, it shrank them. He has had to deal with the rash, as reported and the fingernail and toe nail lesions. He has been able to deal with that.His Chemo Doc cannot tell us how long John will be able to tolerate the Erbitux because it is too new. It sounds like your Mom may be at the point of deciding "quality of life vs. quantity of life", as the Doctor says, but it's hard to know if the Erbitux will give her 2 months or a year or more unless there is more deterioration in her physical condition than you have stated. I know you feel really helpless right now and there are no easy answers to your questions. Just know that many of us are feeling for you. Amy

My father has had 4 rounds of Erbitux so far. Not one symptom other than the rash. He is 79 and has level 4 tongue - mandible cancer. (To the doctors great surprise, no node involvement)
He is just finishing his forth week of radiation (started two a days yesterday that he will have for 10 days) He has just started to feel throat pain. You just get through this one day at a time. Our M.D.Anderson docs say the Erbitux in combination with the radiation somehow help the radiation do its job more affectively. Hang in there. My father lost 40 pounds prior to this diagnosis. They put a feeding tube in just prior to starting radiation and he's gaining weight, not losing.

HH,

I'm under the impression that in a case where you are making a decision about whether to have treatments like Erbitux which would, at best, give you a little more time, the decision is yours (in this case your mom's) and the chemo docs should be telling you both the plusses and minuses.

Two months of increased life is an AVERAGE. The side effects that happen are also for the AVERAGE person. This means your mom could take Erbitux, it could make her feel really awful, and she could only gain a week or two OR she cold take it with few side effects and gain 6 months. It's a gamble, and it depends on what she wants. If she doesn't want to fight anymore and the risk of being made sick by chemo doesn't seem to be worth two additional months of life, she shouldn't have it. But for some people the risk might be worth it.

It is really her decision. The doctor may have sounded discouraging because he didn't want to create unreal expectations but I know at least one woman, an acquaintance of mine, who fought stomach cancer for a couple of years before dying from it by having exactly those treatments that were only supposed to give a couple of months (in her case, they gave her longer and I think she treasured that time and it may have allowed her to die more peacefully).

Nelie

I think that Amy and Nellie said it all. This decision is your Mom's and there's lots of pros and cons. For what it's worth I don't think you can talk about quantity of life without also considering quality. There are no guarantees with any treatment and side effects are unpredictable, but only your Mom can say how she really feels about all this. Can you get to another comprehensive cancer center for a second opinion? That might give both of you some peace of mind and help her make an informed choice.

Regards JoAnne

Thank you everyone for your opinions. They are really helping us make a decision. I will talk to Mom about going to another cancer center for a second opinion. Joanne where would you recommend?
This site has been wonderful. Thank you for your support and kind words.
Jennifer

Hi Jennifer, I hope that all goes well for your Mom. How is she doing with all of this? If you can get to the Mayo clinic that's a good place if not how far are you from Chicago? Stay strong. Regards JoAnne

Mom is feling better now that she is on the fentanyl patch. Mom is a fighter always has been and she isn't ready to give up. Chicago is aboout 3-4 hours away. Mom said that her doctors told her about Chicago awhile ago. However she kept her faith in the docs. she is seeing. Do you know a particular doctor that you would recommend.
I wish everyday that I could take all of her pain upon myself.I hate seeing her so weak!!! She is my mom,my best friend and my inspiration.
I love her so much!!
Jennifer

Mom is feling better now that she is on the fentanyl patch. Mom is a fighter always has been and she isn't ready to give up. Chicago is aboout 3-4 hours away. Mom said that her doctors told her about Chicago awhile ago. However she kept her faith in the docs. she is seeing. Do you know a particular doctor that you would recommend.
I wish everyday that I could take all of her pain upon myself.I hate seeing her so weak!!! She is my mom,my best friend and my inspiration.
I love her so much!!
Jennifer